rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* Chicken To Go - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/1bdd6734880a40d1?hl=en
* The greatest men ever - 12 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d5943dcdbeb70319?hl=en
* Chinese food - 2 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en
* My one year - 6 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/80e8b0d43e5d9314?hl=en
* 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c48f9a725ad03fb1?hl=en
* 150 Days - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/819a6f72d7ac5eea?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Chicken To Go
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/1bdd6734880a40d1?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 2:31 am
From: Phaeton

A gem from the famous website... :-)

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2004-27.html

(3 October 2004, Galati, Romania) Constantin, 67, lived in a formerly
peaceful village near Galati. But lately Constantin couldn't get any sleep,
all because of a single noisy chicken. Night after night he dreamed of
wringing its neck, or even better, chopping its head off and eating it.
One night, he finally had enough. He roused himself from bed and
headed out to the yard in his underwear, determined to bring silence
to his home.

The sleep-deprived villager grabbed that chicken by the neck and
chopped its head right off. Only then did he realize that he had
confused his own penis for the chicken's neck. While Constantin
stood stunned by his folly, his dog rushed over and gobbled up the treat.

He was rushed to the hospital, bleeding heavily. Doctors sewed up the
wound and pronounced him out of danger.
He is also in no danger of reproducing.

----

Cheers, Csaba

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|d|i|g|i|t|a|l|

http://csabaharangozo.blogspot.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EARTH::AUSTRALIA:[SYDNEY]HARANGOZO.CSABA;1, delete? [N]:

There is nothing identical.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: The greatest men ever
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d5943dcdbeb70319?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 12 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 5:03 am
From: "Greg Evans"

MosNot wrote:

>> ...And Mos wins what I believe is his frst SRPOTW!
>
> Again, I thank you for making it
> just too easy for me to do a set up.

And I thank you for following through in a predictable manner, trying to CYA
after the fact.

== 2 of 12 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 5:10 am
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

>>> Are you selling fake white belts and shoes now?
>> How can you fake the color of something? Or is that
>> just a little white lie?
>
> You can stab them. Haven't you ever heard of colors
> bleeding before?

You're going to stab an albino? That's reprehensible.

== 3 of 12 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 5:11 am
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

>>> Does that make me an acoustic
>>> sound holist or a pickup artist or both?
>> "Hole" is certainly part of your description.
>
> Sound hole or something else entirely.

It does sometimes make a sound, if what you've told us is true.

== 4 of 12 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 7:23 am
From: "MosNot"

"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:ibswj.7684$Sw6.7088@trnddc06...

>
> I wasn't bragging about being butt nekkid - you were!

I got a cute birthmark, huh.

== 5 of 12 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 7:27 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:i3v4s3l6ep9dvci4s5u68250eib28c8egi@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 24 Feb 2008 12:52:12 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>Chances are he also missed the time
>>>>>>I spelt some words the English way.
>>>>>
>>>>> Did you just misspell misspell?
>>>>
>>>>Och, ye cannea see.
>>>
>>> Next you'll be saying I have hairy palms.
>>
>>I have no interest in the foliage in your yard.
>
> They have no nuts.

True.

== 6 of 12 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 7:28 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:38v4s35i2p71al30hmsfrh22ltt5s5tl11@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 24 Feb 2008 14:06:21 -0500, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com> wrote:
>
>>>>>Maybe. The problem is that I don't read Aramaic either. Maybe I
>>>>>should have asked Mel Gibson to translate it for me.
>>>>
>>>>That wouldn't get you ready for the apocalypto, that takes some good
>>>>ol' sacrifices. Hence human bombs.
>>>
>>>Did you see "Apocalypto"? I enjoyed that film. You gotta admit one
>>>thing about Mel, that man can sure tell a story.
>>
>>Yep, it was on satellite. The body field turned me on.
>
> Speaking of body fields, you should watch "Big Brother After Dark" on
> Showtime. Tonight the girls in the house were stripping and licking
> whipped cream of each other's breasts and there was an orgy in the
> pool. It's on seven days a week and can be boring most of the time,
> but tonight you would have enjoyed it.

How big was the pool ?

== 7 of 12 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 7:29 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:nfv4s3pmg51mvpjvdm63lmjgt58k4l8jte@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 24 Feb 2008 12:53:15 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>>>>> I like talking about it.
>>>>>>>>> Is that because that's the only type of sex you get?
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Aha....you're wondering if he's going to talk about you.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> He wishes.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Remember, he has weird hobbies.
>>>>>
>>>>> Quit picking on us philatelists!
>>>>
>>>>I always figured you to be more of a numismatist.
>>>
>>> I am. I also collect guitars. Does that make me an acoustic sound
>>> holist or a pickup artist or both?
>>
>>You should collect bees and keep
>>them in a shoebox in your closet.
>
> Why?

Makes as much sense as collecting guitars.

== 8 of 12 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 7:30 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:9305s3pieb5fl804obr8sit7p38rppnqu8@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:34:51 -0500, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com> wrote:
>
>>>I wouldn't exactly call a '57 Nash fast, man.
>>
>>They started putting a V8 in 'em in '57, and created a quick little
>>sleeper. Hence the little Nash Rambler that left the Caddy behind.
>>Some day I'll tell you about hot rod Lincolns.
>
> Now the boys all thought that I'd lost my sense
> Those telephone poles were like a picket fence
> They said "Slow down, I see spots!"
> The lines on the road just looked like dots

"If chickens were little dots, I'd see a lot of them." ~ John Loomis

== 9 of 12 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 7:31 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:q705s3pg3o2beos76ug8h0dkopr5hockhq@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:34:51 -0500, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com> wrote:
>
>>>>>>>Hackett was hilarious. Most of the new comedians are no where near
>>>>>>>as
>>>>>>>funny as many of the old ones were. Hackett's nightclub act was even
>>>>>>>funnier than the stuff he'd do on TV since he could include blue
>>>>>>>humor.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>HBO broadcast a couple of his Vegas shows a long time ago, they were
>>>>>>great. But what I'd love pygthur find is something like that with
>>>>>>Groucho Marx. Or Karl Marx.
>>>>>
>>>>>I hear Karl Marx really brought down the house in Prussia.
>>>>
>>>>The audience gave him a standing ovation, and screamed out "Karl,
>>>>Dat's Kapital!" That ovation was his major inspiration.
>>>
>>>He was inspired by a guitar!
>>
>>Don't be silly, guitars can't stand.
>
> You're wrong! All eight of my guitars are in a stand when they aren't
> being played.

Eight guitars.....not much of a collection.
If you'd listened to me and collected bees,
you could have hundreds of them in that
shoe box by now.

== 10 of 12 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 7:33 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:tb05s3du12o95v4ubuhn4ojauchj5sk16p@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:51:56 -0500, "Greg Evans"
> <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>
>>> And I'm tired of reading your comments.
>>> Give it a rest for awhile, huh.
>>
>>...And Mos wins what I believe is his frst SRPOTW!
>
> It's about time!

Ehh, so some people aren't constantly referring
to themselves like two other people are.

== 11 of 12 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 7:34 am
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:62fskaF1lajqfU1@mid.individual.net...

>> Again, I thank you for making it
>> just too easy for me to do a set up.
>
> And I thank you for following through in a predictable manner, trying to
> CYA after the fact.

Like I said: Again, I thank you for making
it just too easy for me to do a set up.

One more time and it'll be funny.

== 12 of 12 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 10:36 am
From: Keith E.

On Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:47:48 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>Keith E. wrote:
>
>> Some day I'll tell you about hot rod Lincolns.
>
>That'll drive me to drinking.

Every little bit helps.
--
Keith E.
Excrementum casus

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Chinese food
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 5:09 am
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

>> I am a bit slow today.
>
> So is Greg!

Hey, it's Monday - what did you expect?

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 7:20 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:buv4s3120d5qadjc1bvfga6p20pktlf14p@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 25 Feb 2008 00:06:02 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
> <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:
>
>>>>>>> Nothing slips past you, does it?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Only if it is big.
>>>>>
>>>>>But Larry's head *didn't* - it ended up on your wall. How do you
>>>>>explain
>>>>>that?
>>>>
>>>>First, it was big. But then I let the air out.
>>>
>>>I'm proud of the fact that all my hot air was able to heat Elisabeth's
>>>entire house for an entire winter.
>>
>>It was a mild winter this year.
>
> Don't try to belittle my contribution!

All your contributions be little.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: My one year
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/80e8b0d43e5d9314?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 7:05 am
From: Richard Catto

Parsons wrote:
> "Richard Catto" <rrcatto@gmail.com> wrote in message
> > peachy ashie passion wrote:
> >> MosNot wrote:
> >> > "Father Haskell" <fatherhaskell@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> >> >>Any group that preaches obedience to a "higher authority"
> >> >>is evil.
> >> > Husbands are evil !
> >> I'll second that notion!
> > People are evil and the Internet is proof of that.
> You proved beyond a reasonable doubt that you're evil, Dicky.

Prove it.

== 2 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 7:06 am
From: Richard Catto

Parsons wrote:
> "Richard Catto" <rrcatto@gmail.com> wrote in message
> > karmalube wrote:
> >> "Richard Catto" <rrcatto@gmail.com> wrote in message
> >> > Orange Mud wrote:
> >> >> In article <ed84c32d-4f57-4e8c-b769-07d1086154e5
> >> >> @o10g2000hsf.googlegroups.com>, ctneditor@gmail.com says...
> >> >> You might be "clean" but you still suck.
> >> > I don't, but you certainly do.
> >> > I don't know who you are or whether you are actually in NA, but this
> >> > is an example of the type of abuse one finds in real life NA meetings.
> >> Get over yourself and get off the pity pot. From what I can tell by your
> >> original posting, it's your negative attitude that attracts the kind of
> >> treatment you keep whining about.
> > If one disagrees with a cultist, one gets a predictably abusive
> > response.
> Is that why you're so abusive, Porky?

You tell me.

> >> I imagine it's not just in NA that you experience this either. You will
> >> attract it no matter where you go because it all starts with how we
> >> project
> >> our own beliefs, values and attitudes.
> > I get it from white racists in South Africa too. They don't enjoy
> > being exposed as racists.
> Then you must be a Kaffir.

Prove it.

> >> OK....Let er rip. I'm holding onto my chair and I'm all prepared for a
> >> lengthy response of denial and rationalization.
> > NA is no longer my problem. You are your own problem now.
> And you're still a coward that drugs and molests little kids, Dicky.

No you are.

== 3 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 7:07 am
From: Richard Catto

MosNot wrote:
> "Orange Mud" <orangemud@void.null.invalid> wrote in message
> > In article <sxjwj.101800$N67.18838@bignews5.bellsouth.net>,
> > ParsonsREMOVE@bellsouth.net says...
> >> "Richard Catto" <rrcatto@gmail.com> wrote in message
> >> > *PLONK*
> >> Did you just park that fat ass of yours again, Porky?
> >> > Pretty much what I'm doing with you.
> >> Are you still making idle threats, Dicky?
> > Careful, he might "plonk" you.
> > Even though he's using Google Groups and thus does not have a way to
> > "plonk" anyone. Heh.
> But he's claimed to be a high and mighty system administrator.

I am. Fear me, dickweed.

== 4 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 10:00 am
From: "Parsons"

"Richard Catto" <rrcatto@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:6659dbfc-468f-482c-add1-c39fc74bf50c@n58g2000hsf.googlegroups.com...
> MosNot wrote:
>> "Orange Mud" <orangemud@void.null.invalid> wrote in message
>> > In article <sxjwj.101800$N67.18838@bignews5.bellsouth.net>,
>> > ParsonsREMOVE@bellsouth.net says...
>> >> "Richard Catto" <rrcatto@gmail.com> wrote in message
>> >> > *PLONK*
>> >> Did you just park that fat ass of yours again, Porky?
>> >> > Pretty much what I'm doing with you.
>> >> Are you still making idle threats, Dicky?
>> > Careful, he might "plonk" you.
>> > Even though he's using Google Groups and thus does not have a way to
>> > "plonk" anyone. Heh.
>> But he's claimed to be a high and mighty system administrator.
>
> I am. Fear me, dickweed.

Still letting your fat ass do your talking for you, Porky?

== 5 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 10:01 am
From: "Parsons"

"Richard Catto" <rrcatto@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:13047bf2-c8da-480c-a398-8737f9d69d7b@z17g2000hsg.googlegroups.com...
> Parsons wrote:
>> "Richard Catto" <rrcatto@gmail.com> wrote in message
>> > karmalube wrote:
>> >> "Richard Catto" <rrcatto@gmail.com> wrote in message
>> >> > Orange Mud wrote:
>> >> >> In article <ed84c32d-4f57-4e8c-b769-07d1086154e5
>> >> >> @o10g2000hsf.googlegroups.com>, ctneditor@gmail.com says...
>> >> >> You might be "clean" but you still suck.
>> >> > I don't, but you certainly do.
>> >> > I don't know who you are or whether you are actually in NA, but this
>> >> > is an example of the type of abuse one finds in real life NA
>> >> > meetings.
>> >> Get over yourself and get off the pity pot. From what I can tell by
>> >> your
>> >> original posting, it's your negative attitude that attracts the kind
>> >> of
>> >> treatment you keep whining about.
>> > If one disagrees with a cultist, one gets a predictably abusive
>> > response.
>> Is that why you're so abusive, Porky?
>
> You tell me.

I already did, Dicky.
>
>> >> I imagine it's not just in NA that you experience this either. You
>> >> will
>> >> attract it no matter where you go because it all starts with how we
>> >> project
>> >> our own beliefs, values and attitudes.
>> > I get it from white racists in South Africa too. They don't enjoy
>> > being exposed as racists.
>> Then you must be a Kaffir.
>
> Prove it.

You proved that a long time ago.
>
>> >> OK....Let er rip. I'm holding onto my chair and I'm all prepared for a
>> >> lengthy response of denial and rationalization.
>> > NA is no longer my problem. You are your own problem now.
>> And you're still a coward that drugs and molests little kids, Dicky.
>
> No you are.

You know that you do that all the time, Porky.

== 6 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 10:02 am
From: "Parsons"

"Richard Catto" <rrcatto@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:71eb92aa-cc40-42cc-8a76-e90dddbe2743@i12g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
> Parsons wrote:
>> "Richard Catto" <rrcatto@gmail.com> wrote in message
>> > peachy ashie passion wrote:
>> >> MosNot wrote:
>> >> > "Father Haskell" <fatherhaskell@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>> >> >>Any group that preaches obedience to a "higher authority"
>> >> >>is evil.
>> >> > Husbands are evil !
>> >> I'll second that notion!
>> > People are evil and the Internet is proof of that.
>> You proved beyond a reasonable doubt that you're evil, Dicky.
>
> Prove it.

You've already proved it many times that you are.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c48f9a725ad03fb1?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 7:22 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:pqv4s3tahvl3vvmr78pfpdjvprcp861ck1@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 24 Feb 2008 14:25:17 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>You should take a couple of years away from Usenet.
>>
>>Well, just too friggin' bad for you, because
>>Friday I paid for another year here to my ISP.
>
> I never mentioned anything about you not browsing the web or sending
> email. Usenet seems to make you tense.

And I suppose you're gonna brag and say it makes you elevense.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 150 Days
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/819a6f72d7ac5eea?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Mon, Feb 25 2008 7:59 am
From: Sir F. A. Rien

HGJ <svchgj75@yahoo.se> found these unused words:

>On 24 Feb, 23:01, Bob Badour <bbad...@pei.sympatico.ca> wrote:
>> nemo wrote:
>> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>> >news:47C0E391.4BD49E8C@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>>
>> >>150 days since my 41st birthday.
>>
>> > Nineteen years since mine, mate!  :o(
>>
>> > Gorrrrr! The ?ritis!
>>
>> Happy 60th Birthday!
>
>You're almost a year late:
>
... and several dollars short!

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