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Today's topics:
* Birthday reminder - 10 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/b2f2c2bd533f9804?hl=en
* World's Easiest Quiz - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d6d2997528ee037?hl=en
* The greatest men ever - 13 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d5943dcdbeb70319?hl=en
* 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c48f9a725ad03fb1?hl=en
==============================================================================
TOPIC: Birthday reminder
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/b2f2c2bd533f9804?hl=en
==============================================================================
== 1 of 10 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 1:00 am
From: "bvallely@aol.com"
On Feb 26, 11:26 pm, Larry Krzewinski <Feerless_Fr...@madmagazine.com>
wrote:
> On Tue, 26 Feb 2008 23:15:04 -0800 (PST), "bvall...@aol.com"
>
> <bvall...@aol.com> wrote:
> >> >> C) go home, *little* boy
> >> >.
> >> >Ah, the other leftie trump card - implying that the person winning the
> >> >argument has a small penis.
> >.
> >> Implying?
> >.
> >Yeah, it's awkward, but lefties love to slander people by strong
> >implication. When they're called on their attacks, they feign outrage
> >and demand to be shown exactly where the made the accusing statement.
>
> >It's tiresome, and by saying "strongly implied", I take away one of
> >their favorite toys.
.
> But I don't think she was implying at all.
.
What a surprise. A lefty denying the obvious truth.
== 2 of 10 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 1:01 am
From: "bvallely@aol.com"
On Feb 26, 11:27 pm, Larry Krzewinski <Feerless_Fr...@madmagazine.com>
wrote:
> On Tue, 26 Feb 2008 23:15:53 -0800 (PST), "bvall...@aol.com"
>
> <bvall...@aol.com> wrote:
> >> >> As your initial violently misogynistic words clearly demonstrated.
> >.
> >> >And a quick re-reading of what I wrote shows that I'm the one AGAINST
> >> >women getting bitch-slapped. YOU are the one who choses to turn a
> >> >blind eye when it comes to violence against women, when done by a
> >> >powerful democrat.
> >.
> >> Methinks thou doth protest too much.
.
> >Methinks thou art a lying sack of shit.
.
> Temper, temper.
.
Methinks thou art a condesending ass. And a lying sack of shit.
== 3 of 10 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 5:31 am
From: "Greg Evans"
bvallely@aol.com wrote:
> When did the lefties decide that proclaiming "you have no
> brain" became the ulitimate trump card?
Ever since it's been true.
== 4 of 10 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 5:32 am
From: "Greg Evans"
bvallely@aol.com wrote:
> What is this? A 1968 ABC made
> for TV movie starring Shelley Fabares and Bill Bixby wearing a
> nehru jacket?
No. Do try to keep up.
> And a quick re-reading of what I wrote shows that I'm the one
> AGAINST women getting bitch-slapped.
And a re-reading that actually uses some *thought* shows that you're the one
getting bitch-slappled.
> What the Hell does crossposting have to do with anything?
The fact that I'm funny, and you're not...not intentionally, anyway.
> And a quick re-reading of what I wrote shows that
...that you keep repeating meaningless phrases, hoping that sheer repetition
will disguise the truth that you've got nothing intelligent or amusing to
say.
== 5 of 10 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 5:33 am
From: "Greg Evans"
bvallely@aol.com wrote:
> Methinks thou art a condesending ass. And a lying sack
> of shit.
Special Guest SRPOTW.
== 6 of 10 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 7:14 am
From: "MosNot"
"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:62l75nF21hpm0U1@mid.individual.net...
> bvallely@aol.com wrote:
>
>> Methinks thou art a condesending ass. And a lying sack
>> of shit.
>
> Special Guest SRPOTW.
Don't ya love it when the ones that accuse
others of being a troll prove themselves to be one ?
bVallely@IdiotsOnLine proved it nicely.
== 7 of 10 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 7:59 am
From: "bvallely@aol.com"
.
> > When did the lefties decide that proclaiming "you have no
> > brain" became the ulitimate trump card?
.
> Ever since it's been true.
.
That's the little fairy tale lefties tell themselves over and over and
over - that intelligence is a trait which can only lead to leftism.
It leads to intellectual bankruptcy.
== 8 of 10 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 8:15 am
From: "bvallely@aol.com"
> > What is this? A 1968 ABC made
> > for TV movie starring Shelley Fabares and Bill Bixby wearing a
> > nehru jacket?
.
> No. Do try to keep up.
.
Wow, was that statement ever worthless.
.
> > And a quick re-reading of what I wrote shows that I'm the one
> > AGAINST women getting bitch-slapped.
.
> And a re-reading that actually uses some *thought* shows that you're the one
> getting bitch-slappled.
.
Nope, you had to cut the bulk of my arguments to find a few sentences
you felt comfortable responding to - and even then, you've done a
pisspoor job.
.
> > What the Hell does crossposting have to do with anything?
.
> The fact that I'm funny, and you're not...not intentionally, anyway.
.
OH, is THAT what you think you're doing? You actually believe that
you're clever? OK, the gibberish you've written now makes a bit of
sense. It goes without saying that you couldn't get a laugh in a
monkey comedy club with a barrel of cocaine laced bananas, but I see
what you're going for.
Free comedy lesson, Greggie - actually funny people don't announce
that they're funny. They actually DO funny things.
> > And a quick re-reading of what I wrote shows that
.
> ...that you keep repeating meaningless phrases, hoping that sheer repetition
> will disguise the truth that you've got nothing intelligent or amusing to
> say.
.
No, I repeat phrases when cowards, like yourself, run from the
message.
== 9 of 10 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 8:18 am
From: "bvallely@aol.com"
.
> bvall...@aol.com wrote:
> > Methinks thou art a condescending ass. And a lying sack
> > of shit.
.
> Special Guest SRPOTW.
.
Is this your attempt at wit that was spoken so highly of? Of course,
the person speaking highly of your wit was yourself, but still...
== 10 of 10 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 8:20 am
From: "bvallely@aol.com"
> >> Methinks thou art a condescending ass. And a lying sack
> >> of shit.
.
> > Special Guest SRPOTW.
.
> Don't ya love it when the ones that accuse
> others of being a troll prove themselves to be one ?
> bVallely@IdiotsOnLine proved it nicely.
.
Excuse me, when did I accuse anyone of being a troll? And I notice
that you attempted to make a little joke with Bvallely@idiotsOnLIne.
Isn't that cute? I'll bet you were giggling to yourself all day with
that one.
==============================================================================
TOPIC: World's Easiest Quiz
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d6d2997528ee037?hl=en
==============================================================================
== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 1:12 am
From: "The Mip"
"**Rowland Croucher**" <rccroucher@contactemailonwebsite> wrote in message
news:47c501a5$0$5200$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au...
> WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ
>
> (Passing requires 4 correct answers)
>
> Please answer all questions before scrolling down for the answers.
>
> 1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
>
> 2) Which country makes Panama hats?
>
> 3) From which animal do we get catgut?
>
> 4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
>
> 5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
>
> 6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
>
> 7) What was King George VI's first name?
>
> 8) What color is a purple finch?
>
> 9) Where are Chinese Gooseberries from?
>
> 10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
>
>
> All done?
> Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass. Check your answers below.
>
>
>
>
>
> SCROLL DOWN, DOWN, DOWN !
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
> (Passing requires 4 correct answers)
>
>
>
>
> 1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
>
> 2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
>
> 3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
>
> 4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
>
> 5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
>
> 6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
>
> 7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
>
> 8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
>
> 9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
>
> 10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange,
> of course.
>
> --
answers use to be better back in aug-2003:
1) 116 years, from 1337 to 1453.
4) November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.
6) The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs.
7) Albert. When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish
of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert.
8) Distinctively crimson.
And Q 10 was better to10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?10) Thirty
years, of course. From 1618 to 1648.
==============================================================================
TOPIC: The greatest men ever
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d5943dcdbeb70319?hl=en
==============================================================================
== 1 of 13 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 5:25 am
From: "Greg Evans"
MosNot wrote:
>>> What state do you want me to be in ?
>> Larry's. That way you both suffer.
>
> Larry told you he owned a
> state and you believe him !?!
Yes - the state of Befuddlement.
== 2 of 13 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 5:29 am
From: "Greg Evans"
Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> Bees are not at all musical.
But they're always humming!
== 3 of 13 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 7:17 am
From: "MosNot"
"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:hg2as3168am64vpom8dne5pr9pcnqp4vcu@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 26 Feb 2008 19:24:35 -0500, "Greg Evans"
> <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>
>>>>> You stopped drinking wine . . . again?
>>>> No. I just switched to twist off caps.
>>> To repeat: you stopped drinking wine
>>But I hear there are some *very* lovely vinegars coming out of the Napa
>>valley these days.
>
> <truth>
You've cried wolf too many times.
> On a serious note here: <snip>
Yeah, right, and Greg'll do his monkey act first !
> <Back to my usual BS>
Zip it !
== 4 of 13 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 7:17 am
From: "MosNot"
"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:nd2as39l5rbk95jqir9je93fhuotbltvf1@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 26 Feb 2008 17:20:06 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
> <icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>>>> I'm outta corks.
>>>>
>>>>You stopped drinking wine . . . again? Geez, dude - there's no
>>>>hope for you
>>>
>>> No. I just switched to twist off caps.
>>
>>To repeat: you stopped drinking wine
>
> No way (HIC)! Wash makes youuu think that? (HIC) Some fine vintashes
> come with screwww tops. (HIC)
Yeah....last Tuesday, last Wednesday,.....
== 5 of 13 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 7:18 am
From: "MosNot"
"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:ak3as35hfdc22ue03cbqhkg51qp7gdoqci@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 26 Feb 2008 20:05:02 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>> What state do you want me to be in ?
>>>
>>> Larry's. That way you both suffer.
>>
>>Larry told you he owned a
>>state and you believe him !?!
>
> I promised him a tooth and now he believes everything I tell him.
^
Misspelt "truth".
== 6 of 13 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 7:19 am
From: "MosNot"
"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:qj3as398gsmn8u3nubjfvk02sprk91fkuh@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 26 Feb 2008 21:49:17 -0500, "Greg Evans"
> <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>
>>> What state do you want me to be in ?
>>
>>Larry's. That way you both suffer.
>
> HELL NO!
Buck up. I'd be worse off than you in that deal.
== 7 of 13 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 7:20 am
From: "MosNot"
"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:tj1as3hl0vb332mbr7hu37dotnn18vn1d7@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 26 Feb 2008 19:26:10 -0500, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com> wrote:
>
>>>>>>>Babs isn't around any longer.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>But its spirit lives on.
>>>>>
>>>>>As a cross-dressing ghost?
>>>>
>>>>No, as a symbol in churches around the world.
>>>
>>>Are you suggesting that Babs was altered?
>>
>>No, that displaying people nailed pygthur crosses is perverted.
>
> Makes you wonder why they still do it.
Everybody needs a hobby.
== 8 of 13 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 7:21 am
From: "MosNot"
"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:9l1as393meqe4ma8q6fl31563uii923965@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 26 Feb 2008 19:26:10 -0500, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com> wrote:
>
>>>>>> What women do pygthur men is terrible.
>>>>>
>>>>>And still you come back for more
>>>>
>>>>I joined the He-Man Woman Haters Club.
>>>
>>>Keith's the head misogynist.
>>
>>Join Our Gang!
>
> I will but only if the name Spanky hasn't already been taken.
Peachy beat us to it.
Wait...that didn't....yes, yes it did sound right....
== 9 of 13 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 7:22 am
From: "MosNot"
"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:4p1as39s1gp53dn9mh8obd03loavb7sbq0@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 26 Feb 2008 17:07:23 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>You really are new here, aren't you?
>>>>>>>>>>What gave me away?
>>>>>>>>>Greg taped a note saying "Kick Me" on your back.
>>>>>>>>Damn, why does that keep happening pygthur me?!?
>>>>>>>Blame it on Mel, he's the one who started it.
>>>>>>I didn't think you latte liberals blamed Africans for anything.
>>>>> Well, we don't blame black Africans. Except maybe Idi Amin.
>>>>Blaming him for not being alive any more ?
>>> No. I blame him for not offing Mel when he had the chance.
>>
>>Maybe Mel was too ugly for Idi to.....oh....
>>....wait....you said "offing", not "boffing".
>>Nevermind.
>
> Even Idi had standards, Mos.
Doubtful even wrapping a flag
around Mel's face would have helped.
== 10 of 13 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 7:23 am
From: "MosNot"
"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:g13as31n6reqt64gklbc007tqaaekuo7qe@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 26 Feb 2008 19:26:10 -0500, Keith E. <i.m.knot@aol.com> wrote:
>
>>>>>>>>>Nope. I've got diarrhea.
>>>>>>>>Keep it.
>>>>>>>That's difficult, especially when I'm running for the bathroom.
>>>>>>What, you've never heard the expression, "put a cork in it"?
>>>>>I'm outta corks.
>>>>And the other expression, "get your thumb out!", was pygthurr
>>>>tempting, huh?
>>>The pie man was at the door. What was I supposed to do?
>>Nothing complex.
>
> I was keeping it simple, man!
'twixt the two of you, you've no choice.
== 11 of 13 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 7:25 am
From: "MosNot"
"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:oa3as3pvhsei288hladfk0fsk99frtqr1n@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 26 Feb 2008 17:15:18 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>> My wife is a fan of the "Big Brother" TV reality show on CBS. They
>>> don't show the live sex that occurs in the Big Brother house on the
>>> CBS show. They show it all unedited on "Big Brother After Dark" on
>>> Showtime. You can also watch it on the web if you pay a subscription
>>> fee. I gotta warn you, though . . . most of the time the show is
>>> boring as hell. This year they have one real exhibitionist. Last
>>> night she was squirting breast milk out of her huge fake boobies.
>>
>>Your wife know you're telling us she
>>was squirting breast milk out of her
>>fake boobies while she watches TV ?
>
> My wife is a fan, and not a squirter!
You said she was squirting breast
milk out of her huge fake boobies.
== 12 of 13 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 7:26 am
From: "MosNot"
"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:62l6tuF23di7pU1@mid.individual.net...
> Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>
>> Bees are not at all musical.
>
> But they're always humming!
....mmm.....hummers.....
== 13 of 13 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 7:28 am
From: "MosNot"
"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:eh3as3t7ramnee255oj09cm4raeca4grf2@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 26 Feb 2008 17:15:48 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
>>>>>>> I am. I also collect guitars. Does that make me an acoustic sound
>>>>>>> holist or a pickup artist or both?
>>>>>>You should collect bees and keep
>>>>>>them in a shoebox in your closet.
>>>>> Why?
>>>>Makes as much sense as collecting guitars.
>>> I can't play bees.
>>Guitars don't make honey.
>
> So? Bees don't play "Freebird".
Oh, so now you got to change the subject to the
birds and bees. And dude, if you're married,
the honey you get from your bird ain't really free.
==============================================================================
TOPIC: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c48f9a725ad03fb1?hl=en
==============================================================================
== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Wed, Feb 27 2008 7:08 am
From: "MosNot"
"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:j71as398gnirf1hl73omapo75ds6sambb5@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 26 Feb 2008 18:56:08 -0500, "Greg Evans"
> <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>
>>>>>> And I suppose you're gonna brag and say it makes
>>>>>> you elevense.
>>>>> No, since I'm already a twelve.
>>>> Larry gained a whole IQ point!
>>>
>>> I has been stoodying and doin' brain excerptcises.
>>
>>And are it halped?
>
> Eye think sew. Now eye kin spell better than Moss.
Oney fare sins I bes hanged lack Liary.
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