25 new messages in 8 topics - digest

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==============================================================================
TOPIC: 11/11 Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/40586282901f8163?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 6:28 pm
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4192F81A.4BDDAA6B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Sheila Dundee wrote:
> >
> > > "Kathy" > "nemo" ...
> > > > > Advice for overweight sailors:
> > > > >
> > > > > "ABANDON CHIP!!"
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > "TRIM THE SCALE!"
> > >
> > > Do you find you heave-in stays?
> > > Personally I could just keel-haul people who say I have a large
> > > beam!
> >
> > Starboard: An unentertained large ball of mostly hydrogen gas that gets
> > its energy via hydrogen fusion.
>
> Refuse: Waste products from fusion.

Rabies: Radioactive apines.

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 6:28 pm
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

Rabies: Radioactive apines.

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 6:28 pm
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4192F826.67980148@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > news:g_78b.74626$Ls2.9875@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > >
> > > Kathy <tnktkachuk3@cogeco.ca> wrote in message
> > > news:F3O7b.2423$Gr.120645@read1.cgocable.net...
> > > >
> > > > "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > > news:P3H7b.43637$Ls2.29383@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > > Advice for overweight sailors:
> > > > >
> > > > > "ABANDON CHIP!!"
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > "TRIM THE SCALE!"
> > > >
> > > That's a tack-y answer!
> >
> > Tacky: Key to a-tack.
>
> Donkey: Unlocks a university prof's house.
>
> Jockey: Unlocks the Scottish border.
>
> Dickey: Unlocks a male chastity-belt.

I'm surprised that you missed: Monkey: Unlocks monasteries.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 11/11 Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/19ff63def4b51005?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 6:28 pm
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41F0C313.439765EA@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41930A1E.CD165321@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4191B108.7E8F9C86@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Compeer: Computer colleague.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Compel: Charismatic computer.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Compete: Computer that likes to race.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Competition: Computer political activist.
> > > > >
> > > > > Compose: A robot standing in a silly way.
> > > >
> > > > Compose: Computer poetry
> > > >
> > > Robots write poems in HEX,
> > > While standing on big metal legs.
> > > The long stream of bits,
> > > Can get on your tits
> > > Till you plug up your ears with some pegs!
> > >
> > > Boom Boom!
> >
> > Do witches write in HEX also?
>
> Clouds write in Oktal.

Would you like to Binary at the market?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Veteran's Day Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/3b6df85686972acf?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 6:28 pm
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40A1E366.8C180CA9@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > news:...
> > > A. Siegfried <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
> > > news:bvjbog$spbfc$2@ID-25388.news.uni-berlin.de...
> > > > No need to dump it if it's broken. With a little courage, even huge
> > > > problems can be solved:
> > > >
> > > More like B'Liar Tory Pair over here!
> > >
> > > Somebody chucked whitewash all over the Drowning Street gates this
> morning
> > > and there was a protest in the Visitors' Gallery in Parliament.
> > >
> > > It's because the report into the death of the WMD scientist was far too
> > > sheepish when it came to criticising the government. What was it called
> now?
> > > . . . Ah, yes! The Mutton Report!
> > >
> > > As far as Tony B'Liar is concerned, WMD definitely means Wanger Manually
> > > Deployed!
> >
> > Mutton: 2,000 pound dog.
> >
> UK Mutton: 2240 lb dog.
>
> Hundredweight: A very long bus queue.
>
> Sir Loin: Butcher knight.
>
> Furlong: 220 yard long mink.

Button: 2,000 pound ass.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Chinese food
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 4 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 6:39 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:hbccj3hllonlfhdv62jrk04njqrv0dt2tg@4ax.com,
Elisabeth Mueller <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>> You misspelled te ... well, maybe not.
>>>
>>> I misspell a lot in my old days, but I recognize a tentacle when I
>>> see one.
>>
>> You have twenty-thousand legumes under there, I sea.
>
> Too bad you are a nobody.

You misspelled know body ... I have carnival knowledge.

== 2 of 4 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 7:09 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

ynotssor wrote:

> ... I have carnival knowledge.

It's true - he's got cotton candy for brains, and his thoughts go 'round and
'round like a Ferris wheel.

== 3 of 4 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 8:20 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 14:43:33 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>> Am not!
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>You am, I am not.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Ok. I think, therefore what's your excuse?
>>>>>
>>>>>Excuse ? Feh. I have reasons.
>>>>
>>>> Name 28 of them.
>>>
>>>You still haven't caught on about
>>>trying to tell me what to do, huh.
>>>If I wanted to be told what to do,
>>>I'd join the Army. Or get married.
>>
>> You couldn't even name one of them?
>
>I could identify them in a line up.

That's reason enough to forget about it.

== 4 of 4 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 8:25 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:c0lfj398632ikba5pldk1pnaoh8l5ubkvv@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 14:43:33 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>>>> Am not!
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>You am, I am not.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Ok. I think, therefore what's your excuse?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Excuse ? Feh. I have reasons.
>>>>>
>>>>> Name 28 of them.
>>>>
>>>>You still haven't caught on about
>>>>trying to tell me what to do, huh.
>>>>If I wanted to be told what to do,
>>>>I'd join the Army. Or get married.
>>>
>>> You couldn't even name one of them?
>>
>>I could identify them in a line up.
>
> That's reason enough to forget about it.

About what ?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Two days
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/be16f8b4c2a63696?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 4 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 7:13 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

SummersFrenzy wrote:

>>> Ents are usually quite tall . . . but they're also
>>> somewhat slow to move .. . I think tap dancing might
>>> be out of their capacity
>> I'd pay a dollar to see that!
>
> I thought NetFlix let you see that for less? Ah well,
> another of my misconceptions bites it

They don't seem to have any movies with tapdancing ents in it. I've looked.

== 2 of 4 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 7:43 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:5ppumeFrjqmbU1@mid.individual.net...
> SummersFrenzy wrote:
>> I thought NetFlix let you see that for less? Ah well,
>> another of my misconceptions bites it
>
> They don't seem to have any movies with tapdancing ents in it. I've
> looked.

Seems Larry's not the only one with weird hobbies.

== 3 of 4 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 8:12 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 14:50:27 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> Be careful with your body parts. Somebody might have use of them
>>>> later.
>>>
>>>That would be him.
>>
>> Mos finally admits that I am somebody!
>
>Him is not a name.

But him me!

== 4 of 4 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 8:13 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 20:43:42 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>> I thought NetFlix let you see that for less? Ah well,
>>> another of my misconceptions bites it
>>
>> They don't seem to have any movies with tapdancing ents in it. I've
>> looked.
>
>Seems Larry's not the only one with weird hobbies.

That's righ... HEY!

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Stupid Mistake
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 7:14 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

MosNot wrote:

>> You know what they call people who willingly give it away
>> for free...
>
> Happily single.

The answer I was looking for is "poor".

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 7:42 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:5ppuo1FskjtaU1@mid.individual.net...
> MosNot wrote:
>>> You know what they call people who willingly give it away
>>> for free...
>>
>> Happily single.
>
> The answer I was looking for is "poor".

You want to be happily poor ?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 7 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 8:13 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 08:00:00 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
<icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>> Definition of neurotic: building castles in the air and dreaming about
>>> living in them.
>>> Definition of psychotic: building castles in the air; then moving in and
>>> setting up house.
>>> So ya see, the psychos don't really care - they're too busy enjoying
>>> their castles.
>>
>> Then you won't mind if we lump you in with Larry.
>
>I only qualify as neurotic . . . haven't crossed the boundaries to psycho
>quite yet - all appearances to the contrary
>
>So yeah . . . I'd mind

Darn it!

== 2 of 7 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 8:14 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 14:52:45 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>> Bet he doesn't like artichokes, either.
>>>>>> Artichokes taste nothing like brussel sprouts . . . i.e., it is
>>>>>> possible
>>>>>> to like one but not the other
>>>>> But, they're both good stuff.
>>>> Lots of good nutrtional value, maybe . . . but good taste is a matter
>>>> of
>>>> opinion
>>>Since I eat what I like, it's *my* opinion of what tastes good that
>>>matters.
>>
>> Not to me!
>
>Your opinions don't matter.

They do to me!

== 3 of 7 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 8:14 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 14:53:44 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>> I hope I am invited.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Missed it. Tonight...pork chops and brussel sprouts.
>>>>>
>>>>>Brussels sprouts? Eww YUCK!
>>>>
>>>> But they are fun!
>>>
>>>Bet he doesn't like artichokes, either.
>>
>> And you would lose that bet. I love artichokes.
>
>So you win a bag of brussel sprouts. Enjoy.

== 4 of 7 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 8:15 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 14:54:52 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>> I hope I am invited.
>>>>>
>>>>>Missed it. Tonight...pork chops and brussel sprouts.
>>>>
>>>> Brussels sprouts? Eww YUCK!
>>>
>>>Judge not my food and your bad taste in consumables
>>>shall not be judged, Mr.McDonalds Starbucks.
>>
>> There's nothing better than a good, cold Filet O Fish Frappuccino.
>
>See why I say your opinions don't count.

There's a reason that I don't number them, Mos.

== 5 of 7 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 8:16 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 13:44:14 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
<icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>> I under stand all!
>
>Interesting break and usage . . . so you're short, eh? Do you suffer from
>short man's syndrome?

No, and I'll knock your block off if you say any different, stretch!

== 6 of 7 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 8:16 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 14:55:56 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>>> MARINE:
>>>>>>>>> My Ass Really Is Navy Equiptment
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> MARINE:
>>>>>>>>> My Ass Really Is Navy Equiptment
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Once more, and it'll be funny...
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>It was posted twice for Larry's benefit.
>>>>>>>Once now. Once then.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Doesn't count since your now is my then.
>>>>>
>>>>>No, your now is my then.
>>>>
>>>> Now then, Mos, if we agree, why are we arguing?
>>>
>>>No arguement, just trying to get you to understand.
>>
>> I under stand all!
>
>Then you enjoy the view during a Scottish parade.

By being under the stands?

== 7 of 7 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 8:25 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message

> <Larry gags at the thought>

Really difficult for ya to think, huh.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: surrender
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 8:17 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 14:46:47 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> 1: KA-ching! Pay that setup fee, kid.
>>>
>>>Are you sure you did the set up ?
>>
>> I can honestly say that you have me to thank for all the setup fees.
>
>Larry used "honestly".....hahahahahahahahahahaha

KA-ching!

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 8:17 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 16:45:49 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
<icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>>What's "dead" gotta do with it ?
>>>
>>> You think it's a second hand emotion?
>>
>> Need somebody else to comment
>> like that so we'll have three times funny.
>
>I aim to please:

I do too but sometimes I miss.

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 8:26 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:ktkfj3dcm7gmtock9g877kd476v4mru9bg@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 14:46:47 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>> 1: KA-ching! Pay that setup fee, kid.
>>>>
>>>>Are you sure you did the set up ?
>>>
>>> I can honestly say that you have me to thank for all the setup fees.
>>
>>Larry used "honestly".....hahahahahahahahahahaha
>
> KA-ching!

Got ya to use your typical response
when you can't think of anything (semi) clever.

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Posted by NrSD, Minggu, 11 November 2007 20.27

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