rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* The greatest man ever - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/abc9fc6e79372a5a?hl=en
* Chinese food - 2 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en
* surrender - 7 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
* Scottish Dentist - 9 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* I usually don't plug websites, but... Lets Say Thanks - 2 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/bc539675a937ecf6?hl=en
* Sex novels by instant download - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
* 12/12/12 - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
* Stupid Mistake - 2 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: The greatest man ever
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/abc9fc6e79372a5a?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 12:02 pm
From: "Ralph"

I'd have to go with Red Skelton

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47429D10.627D7C44@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> "The New Mr. Humor" wrote:
>
>> Humor fans,
>>
>> The New Mr. Humor will be taking a week off to enjoy the holiday season.
>> As a special holiday gift, here is an old "Humor of the Great Composers"
>> from years gone by!!!
>>
>> Q: Why was the composer of "The Garden of Fand" always the first one out
>> of
>> the parking lot?
>>
>> A: Because he always backs his car in!!!
>>
>> HH: Backs. Bax. The great composer Sir Arnold Edward Trevor Bax
>> (1883-1953)
>> wrote "The Garden of Fand". Get it??? Ha Ha Ha!!!
>
> Are you going to get a girl on her Bax?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Chinese food
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 12:04 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:30:21 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>
>>>>>>>>This is boring. Do something more funny.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Cool. I always did enjoy telling jokes when I ride bareback.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>With cool you mean the weather situation when riding bare?
>>>>>
>>>>>He meant that him being naked is something to joke about.
>>>>
>>>>I didn't know he was aware of that.
>>>
>>>I do have mirrors, you know.
>>
>>And you should thank Summer for them.
>
>
> Why? The ones she gives away are so tiny. I need full length
> mirrors.

dude! She's given you enough to make a full length mirror for the
Jolly Green Giant!!

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 12:06 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

Greg Evans wrote:

> Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>
>
>>>I figured California McDonalds has home delivery.
>>
>>No, not yet. That would be the answer to the majority
>>of my prayers, though.
>
>
> The rest no doubt having to do with a blind 20-year-old nymphomaniac in a
> bikini...
>
>

I think you mean OUT of a bikini

==============================================================================
TOPIC: surrender
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 12:07 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

peachy ashie passion wrote:

>>>> Johnsons don't lie - they're proud, standup characters!
>>> That's certainly been my experience with them. That is, until
>>> I get through with them.
>> They're probably sad that you're going to leave them alone.
>
> Once I'm done with them, they are beaten.

Not even one last hug goodbye?

== 2 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 12:08 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

MosNot wrote:

>>>>>>>> I thought it was "Second star to the right, and straight
>>>>>>>> on 'til morning"?
>>>>>>> You will never, never find the secret entry that way.
>>>>>> You've Hooked me with your description.
>>>>> The fun of this conversation is petering out.
>>>> It's just wendyng its way through the usual plot twists and
>>>> turns.
>>> Some people might get lost, boys.
>> Quit tinkering with this thimble before you lose your marbles
>
> Then I'd be a shadow of my former self.

That excuse will never fly.

== 3 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 12:16 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

Greg Evans wrote:

> peachy ashie passion wrote:
>
>
>>>>>Johnsons don't lie - they're proud, standup characters!
>>>>
>>>> That's certainly been my experience with them. That is, until
>>>>I get through with them.
>>>
>>>They're probably sad that you're going to leave them alone.
>>
>> Once I'm done with them, they are beaten.
>
>
> Not even one last hug goodbye?
>
>
Maybe one last kiss.

== 4 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:41 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 07:58:34 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> Ride? That Yugo is a collectable.
>
>As opposed to being usable transportation, yes.

You can use it as transportation if it's being towed to your
destination.

== 5 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:42 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 07:57:13 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>>> Stop volunteering me to volunteer Mos.
>>
>> Return my Yugo and I'll consider it.
>
><gives Yugo a spirited shove>
>Good thing you're closer to sea level than I am...

You are such a dreamer. Do you really think that Yugo will coast up
and over the Rocky Mountains?

== 6 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:43 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 08:47:56 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>> Some of us are glad to live uphill from y'all.
>>
>> And we all wish you'd quit pissing in the creek.
>
>Wishing is as effective as Larry's votes on things here.

I vote not to read any more of Mos's replies.

== 7 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:44 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 08:30:09 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>> Nope. And my handwriting is terrible enough to begin with.
>>>>>
>>>>>And surely to end with.
>>>>
>>>> A period, usually.
>>>
>>>You properly used a comma !
>>
>> I also properly used a period and I don't hear you commenting on that.
>> You are punctuation prejudiced. I'm gonna get the NAACP* after you.
>>
>> *National Association of Commas and Periods
>
>Me, punctuation prejudiced ?! You're moreso than I am.
>You're the one that keeps omitting the commas, yet you
>always use a period. Yeah, and you suffer from question
>mark abuse. You use it often, yet rarely use an exclamation mark.
>Turn yourself in for neglecting the minorities and always favouring the
>majorities.

Who me

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 9 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 12:17 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 21:37:15 GMT, peachy ashie passion
> <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>>>>>> Ugh. My kid has been eating those. Cheese and mayo on raisin bread.
>>>>>
>>>>>Kids will eat everything. They will grow up and develop tastebuds,
>>>>>eventually.
>>>>
>>>>Until they do, they'll still want to go to McDonalds.
>>>
>>>It's an easy to read sign of immaturity.
>>
>> I know. I can't HELP being immature!
>
>
> Filet O Fish, my dear?

ewww, gross. Combo number four, with cheese. Coke to drink. No
supersize.

== 2 of 9 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:31 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 09:31:05 -0700, "Bill Colmers"
<sambomambo@nowhere.com> wrote:

>>>> I'm not the one eatin' at fast food joints of any nature . . .
>>>
>>> Not even Schlotzsky's or Quiznos ?.
>
>Try http://tinyurl.com/e7j5l
>
>Best smoked meat (Montreal kosher pastrami) in the world!

Maybe, but that's one hell of a long drive from southern California
just to get a sandwich.

== 3 of 9 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:32 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 20:17:04 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>>>>> Ugh. My kid has been eating those. Cheese and mayo on raisin bread.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Kids will eat everything. They will grow up and develop tastebuds,
>>>>>>eventually.
>>>>>
>>>>>Until they do, they'll still want to go to McDonalds.
>>>>
>>>>It's an easy to read sign of immaturity.
>>>
>>> I know. I can't HELP being immature!
>>
>> Filet O Fish, my dear?
>
> ewww, gross. Combo number four, with cheese. Coke to drink. No
>supersize.

A double quarter pounder with cheese? No problem.

== 4 of 9 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:33 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 08:35:52 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>> Pink Lady.
>
>You never dated outside your own ethnic group, huh.

Pink Lady is the sweetest variety of apple.

== 5 of 9 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:34 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 08:22:00 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>>> ... Possum Junction, but that
>>> doesn't really qualify as human life there.
>>
>> That's what I've been trying to tell you guys all along!
>
>So you admit to deliberately mounting a libel-and-slander campaign?

No. I believe in truth in advertising.

== 6 of 9 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:35 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 09:20:36 -0700, "Bill Colmers"
<sambomambo@nowhere.com> wrote:

>> They work? That doesn't sound so yay. As for mutation, that's a bit
>> personal
>
>If the receptors did not work, you wouldn't be alive. Let me suggest you
>attend my Intensive Pharmacology for Forensic Accountants course, held in my
>office 8:00 pm to midnight. This course is offered as a service to r.h.
>regulars for a nominal fee!

Watch out, Summer! He's going to ask you to repaint the Butter
Dome!!!

== 7 of 9 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:39 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 11:35:25 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>> Let me suggest you attend my Intensive Pharmacology for Forensic
>> Accountants course, held in my office 8:00 pm to midnight.
>
>Or just watch this video:
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElFL4CrDMIY

That was great!

== 8 of 9 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:40 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 19:49:48 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>>>>"No comment", Peachy thought. She would have said it out loud but for
>>>>>>the ball gag that had been loving placed in her mouth. Her back
>>>>>>arched in pain caused by the hot candle wax being dripped onto her...
>>>>>
>>>>> You know, it's actually not that painful. It's a lot like warm
>>>>>water. Very soothing.
>>>>
>>>>God, I love true confessions!
>>>
>>> Yeah, you and I really gotta talk more.
>>
>> Quick! To the Bat Cave, er, Email Cave, Peachy Girl!
>
> Well gosh.

My bat, your cave, 8 PM-ish?

== 9 of 9 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:40 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 10:49:25 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>>>>>> Oh, so you're never gonna specify the sexy women in r.h.
>>>>> Never gonna happen.
>>>> Coward.
>>> Maybe. Maybe I'm a smart enough coward not to pick and choose.
>>
>> Oh, too dumb to be diplomatic.
>
>Or too tired to be inclusive.

I choose Greg's answer.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: I usually don't plug websites, but... Lets Say Thanks
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/bc539675a937ecf6?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:21 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 08:29:16 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> Paisley doesn't really go with my eyes.
>
>So what does go with "jaundiced and bloodshot", then?

Yellow fever?

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:23 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 08:33:40 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> If our troops think that I'm wearing a burqa they have
>> got another thing coming.
>
>A burqa would look better on you than that muu-muu...

No, it wouldn't. There is no such thing as a strapless burka.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Sex novels by instant download
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:26 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 03:08:28 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
<icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>>>Only because once you do a good job,
>>>>>others expect you to do better.
>>>>
>>>> When have I ever done a good job?
>>>
>>>We keep expecting that.
>>
>> Me doing a good job, or me asking when have I done a good job?
>
><nod nod> precisely

Summer's not only a plumber; she's undoubtedly a member of the
Ambiguity R Us Club.

Larry
I'm not just the president, I'm a member.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 12/12/12
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:27 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 08:21:17 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>> I know! The number you posted was for the Department of Homeland
>> Security. Do you know they have absolutely no sense of humor? I am
>> never faxing them another Xerox of my butt again!
>
>DH ? Oh, so close, yet so far. And yes, we do have a sense
>of humour, only we thought the photo was of your face.

It did have that clean shaven look.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Stupid Mistake
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:28 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 08:34:01 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>>> I am now officially Very Disturbed.
>>
>> You were very disturbed before I even wrote that.
>
>Now it's official.

According to your psychiatric file, it was official 15 years ago.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2007 1:30 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 21 Nov 2007 10:36:40 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>>> Now it's official.
>>
>> What ?! Before Larry votes on it ?
>
>Most specifically before Larry tries to vote on it.

I second the motion and also vote yea. The motion is carried and now
it's official.

I also vote to kick Mos out of the club.

==============================================================================

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