rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* Chinese food - 5 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en
* Scottish Dentist - 13 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* Sex novels by instant download - 2 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
* surrender - 2 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
* 12/12/12 - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
* ATJ.. Completely destroyed - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/3f2805ea1da0a7e1?hl=en
* I usually don't plug websites, but... Lets Say Thanks - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/bc539675a937ecf6?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Chinese food
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 5 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:17 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 13:16:39 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>>>>> "Strenuous exercise", for Larry, means having to get up off the
>>>>> couch to get another beer from the fridge.
>>>> Sure it's not having to lift a filet o fish sammich to his mouth ?
>>> Shoot, that requires a major expedition - he has to actually *walk
>>> out of his house* to get to his car, then drive it to McDonalds to
>>> get the food!
>>
>> I figured California McDonalds has home delivery.
>
>He's still gotta get up to answer the door. Unless he can get one of
>his kids to do it for him, and that carries a high potential risk of
>his meal getting commandeered.

Now I'm starting to worry!

== 2 of 5 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:17 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 10:52:46 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> "Strenuous exercise", for Larry, means having to get up off the
>>>> couch to get another beer from the fridge.
>>>
>>> Sure it's not having to lift a filet o fish sammich to his mouth ?
>>
>> Shoot, that requires a major expedition - he has to actually *walk out of
>> his house* to get to his car, then drive it to McDonalds to get the food!
>
>I figured California McDonalds has home delivery.

No, not yet. That would be the answer to the majority of my prayers,
though.

== 3 of 5 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:18 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:29:36 -0800, "ynotssor" <ynotssor@example.org>
wrote:

>>>>> Now I know: belly button!
>>>>
>>>> You're getting warmer.
>>>
>>> Not really. The snow is still cold.
>>
>> There is no snow on my belly button!
>
>There is no lint on Mt. Baldy, either.

HA! When was the last time you were on MT. Baldy?

== 4 of 5 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:19 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:17:33 -0800, "ynotssor" <ynotssor@example.org>
wrote:

>>> What shocking dance it was: any stranger could hold a lady firmly
>>> pressed to his body in plain sight.
>>
>> That isn't shocking as long as you take the correct steps.
>
>Stay out of the path of the ooom-pah-pah.

I think the tuba player has it in for me.

== 5 of 5 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:20 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 08:17:34 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>Make up your mind.
>>>>
>>>>How do I powder it?
>>>
>>>carefully
>>
>> Ok, but the powder keeps filling up my ears.
>
>If I was applying the powder to her, it'd fill up my nose.

Well, most of the time your nose is up her...

And that ain't powder, kid!

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 13 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:20 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:ci77k31m3b365s7ljmml1t5lieqto7adee@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:47:03 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>How can you be so certain? The man can be very forthcoming
>>>>>>in his emails, etc.
>>>>>
>>>>> That man? Please remember that we are discussing Mos here.
>>>>
>>>>No, we're discussing MosNot . . . you really need to learn to make that
>>>>distinction
>>>
>>> A rose by any other name would still have thorns.
>>
>>Rose ?! Solanum Solanaceae Nachtschatten, if you please.
>
> Did I type rose? I meant Lysichiton americanus.

Better, but I prefer the climbing kind
so it's easier to get on a chair.

== 2 of 13 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:21 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:ot77k352pvdmveamrmo9984q1lprvvh4l6@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:30:07 -0500, "Greg Evans"
> <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>
>>>> Some people are the drippers and some are
>>>> the drippees.
>>>
>>> There a setup fee if we refer to you as the
>>> drippeest ?
>> ^^^^^^^^^^^
>>There's probably a setup fee if we refer to your spelling...
>
> Which is exactly why I didn't reply to him.

Oh, man, and I was goin' with the flow.

== 3 of 13 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:22 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:14:32 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>>How can you be so certain? The man can be very forthcoming
>>>>>>>>in his emails, etc.
>>>>>>> That man? Please remember that we are discussing Mos here.
>>>>>> No, we're discussing MosNot . . . you really need to learn to make
>>>>>> that
>>>>>> distinction
>>>>>He still hasn't figured out, even though
>>>>>it's been mentioned a number of times,
>>>>>Mos and I are not the same person.
>>>> I don't believe you.
>>>Since we can't believe anything you say,
>>>you then do believe I'm not Mos.
>>
>> Then I don't believe me.
>
>Can't say I blame you.

But I do blame me. How about them apples?

== 4 of 13 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:22 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:tu77k35ccr2idggg6lmn7n7qoo778764l9@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:00:54 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>> "No comment", Peachy thought. She would have said it out loud but
>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>> the ball gag that had been loving placed in her mouth. Her back
>>>>>>> arched in pain caused by the hot candle wax being dripped onto
>>>>>>> her...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> You know, it's actually not that painful. It's a lot like warm
>>>>>>water. Very soothing.
>>>>>
>>>>> God, I love true confessions!
>>>>
>>>>From everybody....?
>>>
>>> No. From sexy women only.
>>
>>Since you didn't specify the sexy women in r.h. only:
>>Looks like you'll be busy a long time since no matter
>>what women look like and what they weight, most of
>>them think they are sexy when they're horny.
>
> Never gonna happen.

Oh, so you're never gonna specify the sexy women in r.h.

== 5 of 13 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:23 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:n087k35h8j6g2k1a80va9700knigc2ebid@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:34:12 -0500, "Greg Evans"
> <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>
>>> Since you didn't specify the sexy women in r.h. only:
>>> Looks like you'll be busy a long time since no matter
>>> what women look like and what they weight, most of
>>> them think they are sexy when they're horny.
>>
>>http://tinyurl.com/ynq5om
>
> That happens all the time. Women: You can't live without them and
> it's illegal to shoot them so wadda ya gonna do?

And if it weren't for our hormones,
they'd be just another meat animal.

== 6 of 13 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:24 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:3387k3tchkqg5bkm8lhe0esn75s83pojg2@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:01:36 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>wow - easy play . . . where's the bondage stuff?
>>>>>
>>>>> That was in an earlier post. Where were you, missy?
>>>>
>>>>Working . . . flirting outrageously . . . working . . . titillating
>>>>coworkers at the holiday party . . . working . . . finding cute guys to
>>>>torment . . . working . . . slept for a bit . . . did I mention I was
>>>>working?
>>>
>>> Yes, but exactly what is your job description?
>>
>>Putting up with lots of crap.
>
> Summer's a plumber!?

Can't be since she keeps refusing to cheque your pipe.

== 7 of 13 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:25 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:v387k3hkhhr6fgf1ubf3vf22fjoiab0o6q@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:02:13 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>>>> I hope I am invited.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Missed it. Tonight...pork chops and brussel sprouts.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Brussels sprouts? Eww YUCK!
>>>>>>
>>>>>> But they are fun!
>>>>>
>>>>>Bet he doesn't like artichokes, either.
>>>>
>>>>He doesn't know what is good.
>>>
>>> He does too!
>>
>>Rule #1 makes it so you don't.
>
> But what if Rule #1 was a lie?

You left out a comma.

== 8 of 13 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:26 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:21:09 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>> Some people are the drippers and some are
>>>>> the drippees.
>>>>
>>>> There a setup fee if we refer to you as the
>>>> drippeest ?
>>> ^^^^^^^^^^^
>>>There's probably a setup fee if we refer to your spelling...
>>
>> Which is exactly why I didn't reply to him.
>
>Oh, man, and I was goin' with the flow.

Which brings us back to Summer the plumber.

== 9 of 13 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:26 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:23:20 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> Since you didn't specify the sexy women in r.h. only:
>>>> Looks like you'll be busy a long time since no matter
>>>> what women look like and what they weight, most of
>>>> them think they are sexy when they're horny.
>>>
>>>http://tinyurl.com/ynq5om
>>
>> That happens all the time. Women: You can't live without them and
>> it's illegal to shoot them so wadda ya gonna do?
>
>And if it weren't for our hormones,
>they'd be just another meat animal.

If?

== 10 of 13 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:26 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:22:31 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>> Never gonna happen.
>
>Oh, so you're never gonna specify the sexy women in r.h.

Never gonna happen.

== 11 of 13 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:27 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:24:59 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>wow - easy play . . . where's the bondage stuff?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> That was in an earlier post. Where were you, missy?
>>>>>
>>>>>Working . . . flirting outrageously . . . working . . . titillating
>>>>>coworkers at the holiday party . . . working . . . finding cute guys to
>>>>>torment . . . working . . . slept for a bit . . . did I mention I was
>>>>>working?
>>>>
>>>> Yes, but exactly what is your job description?
>>>
>>>Putting up with lots of crap.
>>
>> Summer's a plumber!?
>
>Can't be since she keeps refusing to cheque your pipe.

Up until now that's been a draining experience.

== 12 of 13 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:27 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:hq77k3tq7sqgo2kc06b7ujls60nne0v0r1@4ax.com,
Larry Krzewinski <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote:

>> Incidentally, "The Ego Drops" is the name of my new band.
>
> That explains why each of their instruments is tuned differently, at
> least.

I didn't know kazoos could be tuned.

== 13 of 13 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:28 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:25:48 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>> But what if Rule #1 was a lie?
>
>You left out a comma.

Kiss my but!

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Sex novels by instant download
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:21 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 22:00:57 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>>> My name is Gladly, the Cross-Eyed Bear.
>>
>> Do you mean the bald, cross-eyed bear? Now that I
>> would believe.
>
>Would you believe, cross-eyed and bare?

Yes, unfortunately.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:27 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:0577k3thlsup5cas3gd5i5u4v7lgfu815v@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:54:12 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>> Some folks obviously have absolutely no reading comprehension skills
>>>>>>> at all.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>SRPOTW !!
>>>>>
>>>>> Not even close. Nice try, though.
>>>>
>>>>Oh, my bad. It should have been SRPOTY.
>>>
>>> You obviously underestimate my skills. It should have been the SRPOTD
>>> award.
>>
>>Only because once you do a good job,
>>others expect you to do better.
>
> When have I ever done a good job?

We keep expecting that.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: surrender
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:23 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:13:06 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>> I volunteer Mos.
>>>>>> So this is how volunteering is done in California.
>>>>> Everything is easier when somebody else does it.
>>>>
>>>> Greg volunteers Mos too.
>>>
>>>Stop volunteering me to volunteer Mos.
>>
>> Return my Yugo and I'll consider it.
>
>Yeah, he needs a ride befitting his journeys to McDonalds.

Ride? That Yugo is a collectable.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:24 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:14:03 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>> Honest John(son)?
>>>>>>> <hands Greg a mirror> you tell me
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I don't even know how a Johnson COULD lie.
>>>>>
>>>>>Johnsons don't lie - they're proud, standup characters!
>>>>
>>>> You are stealing my lines, Evans!
>>>
>>>Can't write on unruled paper, huh.
>>
>> Nope. And my handwriting is terrible enough to begin with.
>
>And surely to end with.

A period, usually.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 12/12/12
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:26 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:n877k31a2f4gtsmbt4ft2qlp73n8o5fadu@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:53:31 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>> You're the one who thinks he's a "nice guy".
>>>>>>Rule #1 !
>>>>> It's in the archives, Mos. You actually said you liked him quite a
>>>>> number of times. Don't make me post your quotes here.
>>>>Wasn't me. If you want to prove it,
>>>>post the quotes including the conversation.
>>> Including your IP address?
>>Why not ? I already posted my fax number.
>
> That wasn't your fax number.

I have to admit, "that" is not my fax number.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: ATJ.. Completely destroyed
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/3f2805ea1da0a7e1?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:28 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:h377k3d753kjucjoq12povhk32s9pd4cle@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:55:32 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>> . . It was Larry and Greg who noted that she has your number
>>>>>
>>>>> Yippee!! Hooray for us!
>>>>
>>>>Horrays for Greg and Larry, cheese for Elisabeth !
>>>
>>> I can't speak for Greg, but why in the world would I want prostitute
>>> sting rays?
>>
>>Ghost fish, dude, ghost fish.
>
> You ghost fish - I don't have any threes.

You just want to make a sammich of them.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: I usually don't plug websites, but... Lets Say Thanks
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/bc539675a937ecf6?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:29 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:9s67k3lmrf3kqh79f02tvf8jk9537ad4pp@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:56:21 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>Whether you are for or against
>>>>
>>>>the war, our guys and gals over there need to know
>>>>
>>>>we are behind them...
>>>
>>> Well DUH! If we were in front of them we'd probably get shot.
>>
>>Glad I didn't write the statement, I merely copied and pasted.
>
> It's your fault, kid. The paster is responsible for all copy and
> paste errors. If you don't believe me then you'd better read your
> rec.humor handbook.

You left out a comma.

==============================================================================

You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "rec.humor"
group.

To post to this group, visit http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor?hl=en

To unsubscribe from this group, send email to rec.humor-unsubscribe@googlegroups.com

To change the way you get mail from this group, visit:
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/subscribe?hl=en

To report abuse, send email explaining the problem to abuse@googlegroups.com

==============================================================================
Google Groups: http://groups.google.com?hl=en