rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* Stupid Mistake - 3 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
* Sex novels by instant download - 2 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
* lost opportunity regained? - 7 messages, 4 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4300ee33cbd5c8?hl=en
* Scottish Dentist - 8 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* no mo' "ho ho ho" - 3 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/fd7209995d93406c?hl=en
* {OL] New York Driving Rules: - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/110b261b8976a705?hl=en
* 12/12/12 - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Stupid Mistake
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 1:41 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

MosNot wrote:

> "Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
> news:llhnj3hfrqnu46av7si5e5so6qaag37kv7@4ax.com...
>
>>On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:23:43 -0500, "Greg Evans"
>><gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>>And without Greg there we can actually invite some
>>>>women!!!
>>>
>>>I can understand you not wanting me around; the competition for the
>>>ladies'
>>>attention would have been more than you could handle.
>>
>>No, we wouldn't have been able to catch them all again when they ran
>>screaming from the party.
>
>
> Prey is always more fun when running and screaming.
>
>

*makes a note*

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 2:57 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 08:32:26 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>> Have it your way.
>
>Practicing for your job at Burger King ?

Hold the pickles,
Hold the lettuce,
Special orders don't upset us...

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 2:58 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 08:33:16 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>> And without Greg there we can actually invite some
>>>>>> women!!!
>>>>>
>>>>>I can understand you not wanting me around; the competition for the
>>>>>ladies'
>>>>>attention would have been more than you could handle.
>>>>
>>>> No, we wouldn't have been able to catch them all again when they ran
>>>> screaming from the party.
>>>
>>>Prey is always more fun when running and screaming.
>>
>> Let us know if you ever catch one.
>
>Thrill of the hunt is most often more
>fun than the actual capture of the game.

Obviously Mos has never caught one.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Sex novels by instant download
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 1:41 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 01:37:12 GMT, peachy ashie passion
> <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>>>As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help but notice his
>>>large, throbbing manhood. She had worked up a sweat trying to escape
>>>and lay exhausted, her naked body glistening in the moonlight. He had
>>>not failed to take notice of her exquisite form lying there. She was
>>>his for the taking. He gently placed a ball gag in her mouth and
>>>fastened it behind her head. All he had to do now what determine what
>>>an appropriate punishment would be for her infractions. He decided
>>>to...
>>
>> Cute, but where's the plot?
>
>
> In the next installment. Want a hint, little girl?

No, please no. Pretty please?

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 2:42 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 21:41:42 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>>As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help but notice his
>>>>large, throbbing manhood. She had worked up a sweat trying to escape
>>>>and lay exhausted, her naked body glistening in the moonlight. He had
>>>>not failed to take notice of her exquisite form lying there. She was
>>>>his for the taking. He gently placed a ball gag in her mouth and
>>>>fastened it behind her head. All he had to do now what determine what
>>>>an appropriate punishment would be for her infractions. He decided
>>>>to...
>>>
>>> Cute, but where's the plot?
>>
>> In the next installment. Want a hint, little girl?
>
> No, please no. Pretty please?

Where is your sense of adventure, young lady?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: lost opportunity regained?
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4300ee33cbd5c8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 7 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 1:51 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:M13%i.7043$WN2.6840@trnddc08,
peachy ashie passion <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>> I think that I'm becoming way too predictable.
>
> Apparently not, since the whole topic began because I was
> surprised.

Actually, I'm the O.P. here.

== 2 of 7 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 1:55 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

ynotssor wrote:

> Actually, I'm the O.P. here.

That's okay, we'll forgive you this time.

== 3 of 7 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 2:43 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 08:34:34 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> I think that I'm becoming way too predictable.
>>>
>>>"Becoming" ????
>>>Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....
>>
>> <grin>
>
>The only thing missing was your so very perdictable "KA-Ching".

Oh, I'm never perdictable.

== 4 of 7 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 2:44 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 21:41:00 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>> I think that I'm becoming way too predictable.
>
> Apparently not, since the whole topic began because I was surprised.

Oh. Well, then - SURPRISE!!!

== 5 of 7 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 2:44 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 16:55:50 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>> Actually, I'm the O.P. here.
>
>That's okay, we'll forgive you this time.

Speak for yourself, Greg!

== 6 of 7 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 2:55 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 21:41:11 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>>>Eat those beans you took out of your ears to put the cotton in.
>>>>
>>>>But them was wax beans!
>>>
>>>Make a poem with 'em.
>>
>> Ok.
>>
>> There once was a wax bean from Nantucket
>>
>> No, that won't work. Let me try this one.
>>
>> In my pocket I have wax beans
>> It is the pocket of my new blue jeans
>> I put them into a washing machine
>> And now the beans are aquamarine
>
> Groovy, dude.

Cool, chicky baby! I got another stanza if you hep cats want to hear
it. Maybe Gregio can accompany me on his bongos.

== 7 of 7 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 3:27 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

>>> Actually, I'm the O.P. here.
>> That's okay, we'll forgive you this time.
>
> Speak for yourself, Greg!

I did. That was the Royal "we".

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 8 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 1:54 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

peachy ashie passion wrote:

> Anytime anyone puts in a little bit of effort, it
> counts in my book!

Great, 'cuz I'm all about putting in as little effort as possible!

== 2 of 8 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 2:59 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 21:33:40 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>The blog you say.
>>
>> I put it on Wikipedia.
>
> And the difference is... ?

One is a blog and the other's a wiki.

== 3 of 8 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 3:00 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 08:36:23 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>> And the score is
>> Web 2.0 = 2
>> Mos = 0
>
>Like I really worry about how that won't pay my bills.

Do what I do and you won't have to worry about it: Hire an accountant
to pay your bills for you.

== 4 of 8 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 3:01 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 15:15:06 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>> I'm fully recovered, thanks.
>
>Now you and your chair seatcushion match?

A stitch in time saves Mos?

== 5 of 8 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 3:01 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 16:54:52 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>> Anytime anyone puts in a little bit of effort, it
>> counts in my book!
>
>Great, 'cuz I'm all about putting in as little effort as possible!

Hey, that's what your boss told me.

== 6 of 8 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 3:02 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 08:40:05 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>> After you called me a bitch in another thread? Why'd I wanna
>>>>>> tell
>>>>>> YOU something nastyfun?
>>>>>I never called you a bitch.
>>>>>Oh, but if you want to consider yourself one of the common women
>>>>>and not The Exqusite Peach, it's totally your choice.
>>>>
>>>> I never knew Mos was that coordinated! He can spin and put on
>>>> Chapstick at the same time.
>>>
>>>And you should see all the babes I've put it on with my stick, chap.
>>
>> Do we have to?
>
>Yes, yes you all do. In fact, you have to look twice.

I can definitely do that since you've never caught any babes yet.

== 7 of 8 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 3:03 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 08:37:33 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>> Then you're finally grasping the basic tenet of Rule #1. Took you
>>>>>> long enough!
>>>>>Nope, still working on convincing you we don't believe you.
>>>> Then you haven't read Rule #1 at all.
>>>And you still don't understand we decide when it's been used.
>>
>> Good luck with that.
>
>No luck involved. We decide, and you
>still don't understand how we did it.

At the risk of repeating myself I shall reiterate "Good luck with
that".

== 8 of 8 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 3:04 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 00:10:34 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> Then you haven't read Rule #1 at all.
>
>Gosh, maybe you're ri-- HEY!!

Yes?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: no mo' "ho ho ho"
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/fd7209995d93406c?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 1:54 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:5q3e0iFtcgqmU1@mid.individual.net,
Greg Evans <fake@bogus.com> wrote:

>> SYDNEY (AFP) - Santas in Australia's largest city have been told
>> not to use Father Christmas's traditional "ho ho ho" greeting
>> because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday.
>> Sydney's Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say
>> "ha ha ha" instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.
>
> Q: Why did Santa plant three gardens?
> A: So he could hoe, hoe, hoe!

Next thing will be that Santa can't go down the chimney anymore (or up it)
because of the imagined sexual connotations.

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 2:14 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

ynotssor wrote:

> Next thing will be that Santa can't go down the chimney anymore (or
> up it) because of the imagined sexual connotations.

"He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake..."
Santa - kindly old elf, or CIA spook?

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 2:41 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 13:54:23 -0800, "ynotssor" <ynotssor@example.org>
wrote:

>>> SYDNEY (AFP) - Santas in Australia's largest city have been told
>>> not to use Father Christmas's traditional "ho ho ho" greeting
>>> because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday.
>>> Sydney's Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say
>>> "ha ha ha" instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.
>>
>> Q: Why did Santa plant three gardens?
>> A: So he could hoe, hoe, hoe!
>
>Next thing will be that Santa can't go down the chimney anymore (or up it)
>because of the imagined sexual connotations.

Imagined?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: {OL] New York Driving Rules:
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/110b261b8976a705?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 2:04 pm
From: "Mr. Mistery"

Fun? click on:
http://www.xs4all.nl/~npjdjong/index.html

New York Driving Rules:

Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Long Island driver never
uses them. Use of them in Massapequa may be illegal.

Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the
car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting
you in an even more dangerous situation.

Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered "going with
the flow."

The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of
getting hit.

Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.

Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensurhat your ABS
kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.
For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

Electronic traffic warning signs are not there to provide useful
information. They are only there to make Long Island look high-tech, and to
distract you from seeing the state police radar car parked on the median.

Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.

Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions, and are
apparently not enforceable during rush hour.

Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident, or even if someone
is just changing a tire.

Throwing litter on the roads adds color to the landscape and gives
Adopt-a-Highway crews something to clean up.

It is assumed that state police cars passing at high speed may be followed
in the event you need to make up a few minutes on your way to work, or the
beach.

Heavy snow, ice, fog, and rain are no reasons to change any of the
previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way of ensuring
a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle
sales.

Mr. Mistery.

Fun? click on:
http://www.xs4all.nl/~npjdjong/index.html

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 12/12/12
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Thurs, Nov 15 2007 2:56 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 00:12:43 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> No, see, I would have to pay them to Greg. Do I need to
>> explain to you again how setup fees work?
>
>Setup fees work?? Not in my experience, they don't.

Just because you don't pay yours doesn't mean that other folks don't
honor their debts.

==============================================================================

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