rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* Sex novels by instant download - 11 messages, 4 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
* 12/12/12 - 3 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
* Stupid Mistake - 5 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
* Scottish Dentist - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* lost opportunity regained? - 4 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4300ee33cbd5c8?hl=en
* Joke about 0J - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8c618670516ba7cb?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Sex novels by instant download
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:33 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:31:51 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>Instant download bondage and spanking novels,
>>
>> Read about it !?!
>> It's just not the same.
>
> Yeah, but since we ain't doing it, reading about it might just be
>better than nothing.
>
> But only if it's got a plot.

As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help but notice his
large, throbbing manhood. She had worked up a sweat trying to escape
and lay exhausted, her naked body glistening in the moonlight. He had
not failed to take notice of her exquisite form lying there. She was
his for the taking. He gently placed a ball gag in her mouth and
fastened it behind her head. All he had to do now what determine what
an appropriate punishment would be for her infractions. He decided
to...

== 2 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:37 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:31:51 GMT, peachy ashie passion
> <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>>>>Instant download bondage and spanking novels,
>>>
>>>Read about it !?!
>>>It's just not the same.
>>
>> Yeah, but since we ain't doing it, reading about it might just be
>>better than nothing.
>>
>> But only if it's got a plot.
>
>
> As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help but notice his
> large, throbbing manhood. She had worked up a sweat trying to escape
> and lay exhausted, her naked body glistening in the moonlight. He had
> not failed to take notice of her exquisite form lying there. She was
> his for the taking. He gently placed a ball gag in her mouth and
> fastened it behind her head. All he had to do now what determine what
> an appropriate punishment would be for her infractions. He decided
> to...

Cute, but where's the plot?

== 3 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:39 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

MosNot wrote:

> "peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:bPJ_i.13240$jH2.2083@trnddc01...
>
>>MosNot wrote:
>>
>>
>>>"Dave" <dave.jay@virgilio.it> wrote in message
>>>news:1195016143..googs.com...
>>>
>>>
>>>>Instant download bondage and spanking novels,
>>>
>>>Read about it !?!
>>>It's just not the same.
>>
>> Yeah, but since we ain't doing it, reading about it might just be
>>better than nothing.
>
>
> Right. And we all just read cook books when we're hungry.
>
>

Well, some people do.

== 4 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:26 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> All he had to do now what determine what an
> appropriate punishment would be for her infractions.
> He decided to...

...make her read cheesy internet erratica -- oops, excuse me, "erotica".

== 5 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:30 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

peachy ashie passion wrote:

>> As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help but
>> notice his large, throbbing manhood. She had worked up a
>> sweat trying to escape and lay exhausted, her naked body
>> glistening in the moonlight. He had not failed to take
>> notice of her exquisite form lying there. She was his for
>> the taking. He gently placed a ball gag in her mouth and
>> fastened it behind her head. All he had to do now what
>> determine what an appropriate punishment would be for her
>> infractions. He decided to...
>
> Cute, but where's the plot?

I've got a plot down by the creek where we could bury that reeking slop.

== 6 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:32 pm
From: "MosNot"

"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:CrN_i.4804$RR1.2214@trnddc02...
> MosNot wrote:
>> "peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>"Dave" <dave.jay@virgilio.it> wrote in message
>>>>>Instant download bondage and spanking novels,
>>>>Read about it !?!
>>>>It's just not the same.
>>> Yeah, but since we ain't doing it, reading about it might just be
>>> better than nothing.
>> Right. And we all just read cook books when we're hungry.
>
> Well, some people do.

But they don't stop at just reading.
Reading about spanking and bondage is akin to
looking at the alphabet to make me spell correctly.

== 7 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:33 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:mu7nj35jd2noeaeu7h6u650fbckag8utlk@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:31:51 GMT, peachy ashie passion
> <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>>>Instant download bondage and spanking novels,
>>>
>>> Read about it !?!
>>> It's just not the same.
>>
>> Yeah, but since we ain't doing it, reading about it might just be
>>better than nothing.
>>
>> But only if it's got a plot.
>
> As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help but notice his
> large, throbbing manhood. She had worked up a sweat trying to escape
> and lay exhausted, her naked body glistening in the moonlight. He had
> not failed to take notice of her exquisite form lying there. She was
> his for the taking. He gently placed a ball gag in her mouth and
> fastened it behind her head. All he had to do now what determine what
> an appropriate punishment would be for her infractions. He decided
> to...

Feh. Sounds like an ordinary date for me.

== 8 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:34 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

MosNot wrote:

>> He gently placed a ball gag in her mouth and
>> fastened it behind her head. All he had to do now what
>> determine what an appropriate punishment would be for
>> her infractions. He decided to...
>
> Feh. Sounds like an ordinary date for me.

Take that ball gag out of your mouth and try again; we couldn't understand
you the first time.

== 9 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:34 pm
From: "MosNot"

"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:cpN_i.4800$RR1.586@trnddc02...
> Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:31:51 GMT, peachy ashie passion
>> <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>>>MosNot wrote
>>>>>Instant download bondage and spanking novels,
>>>>Read about it !?!
>>>>It's just not the same.
>>> Yeah, but since we ain't doing it, reading about it might just be
>>> better than nothing.
>>> But only if it's got a plot.
>> As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help but notice his
>> large, throbbing manhood. She had worked up a sweat trying to escape
>> and lay exhausted, her naked body glistening in the moonlight. He had
>> not failed to take notice of her exquisite form lying there. She was
>> his for the taking. He gently placed a ball gag in her mouth and
>> fastened it behind her head. All he had to do now what determine what
>> an appropriate punishment would be for her infractions. He decided
>> to...
>
> Cute, but where's the plot?

Local cemetery, so you can put Larry's story in it.

== 10 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:37 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:mu7nj35jd2noeaeu7h6u650fbckag8utlk@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:31:51 GMT, peachy ashie passion
> <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>>>Instant download bondage and spanking novels,
>>>
>>> Read about it !?!
>>> It's just not the same.
>>
>> Yeah, but since we ain't doing it, reading about it might just be
>>better than nothing.
>>
>> But only if it's got a plot.
>
> As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help but notice his
> large, throbbing manhood. She had worked up a sweat trying to escape
> and lay exhausted, her naked body glistening in the moonlight. He had
> not failed to take notice of her exquisite form lying there. She was
> his for the taking. He gently placed a ball gag in her mouth and
> fastened it behind her head. All he had to do now what determine what
> an appropriate punishment would be for her infractions. He decided
> to...

thank the bartender for slipping the drugs in the
woman's drink so he could take her home with him.

== 11 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:37 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

MosNot wrote:

>> Cute, but where's the plot?
>
> Local cemetery, so you can put Larry's story in it.

You can add MosNot's last vestiges of dignity, that will expire when he
discovers I already made that joke.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 12/12/12
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:33 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 12:41:24 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>> Would you believe me if I offered to pay my setup fees in full?
>
><spit-take>
>
>Can't reply...guffawing....

You had your chance and blew it, dude. I'm never paying them now.

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:34 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:15:45 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>> Now I'll never get it out of my head today!
>>>>> Arrgh!!
>>>>
>>>> I may be able to help you with that, Greg.
>>>
>>>Sorry, I stopped reading at this point - I know better than to think
>>>you would volunteer to help me.
>>
>> Would you believe me if I offered to pay my setup fees in full?
>
>Feh. As if you'll ever make that much.

I could too earn $1.19!

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:30 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> You had your chance and blew it, dude. I'm never paying
> them now.

<renewed guffawing>

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Stupid Mistake
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:34 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 12:39:17 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>>>>> Shows you have a closed mind.
>>>> No, it doesn't. It shows that I have my ears stuffed with cotton.
>>> ...extracted directly from the inside of his skull.
>>
>> Not ALL of it, Greg!
>
>Of course not; you'll want to save some of the cotton for next time.

Next time what?

== 2 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:35 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:09:15 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>>>Speaking of which.....how's your luck
>>>>>>>>>with Summer, Elisabeth, or Peachy ?
>>>>>>>> Well, they all are still talking to me.
>>>>>>>That would be noisy.
>>>>>> I never said I was actually listening to them.
>>>>>It would still be noisy.
>>>> Yeah, but I tune it out most of the time.
>>>Shows you have a closed mind.
>>
>> No, it doesn't. It shows that I have my ears stuffed with cotton.
>
>You can't hear women bitch with beans in your ears.

Cotton is not spelled beans.

== 3 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:39 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

MosNot wrote:

> "peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:BQJ_i.13242$jH2.2894@trnddc01...
>
>>MosNot wrote:
>>
>>>"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
>>>
>>>>On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:08:34 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>Speaking of which.....how's your luck
>>>>>>>>>>>with Summer, Elisabeth, or Peachy ?
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Well, they all are still talking to me.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>That would be noisy.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>I never said I was actually listening to them.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>It would still be noisy.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Yeah, but I tune it out most of the time.
>>>>>
>>>>>Shows you have a closed mind.
>>>>
>>>>No, it doesn't. It shows that I have my ears stuffed with cotton.
>>>
>>>You can't hear women bitch with beans in your ears.
>>
>> You wouldn't hear them bitch at all iffn ya didn't date bitches.
>
>
> As if there's any other kind.
>
>

Oh really?

== 4 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:41 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:34:38 -0800, "ynotssor" <ynotssor@example.org>
wrote:

>>>>>>> Get a keg, dude! PARTY!
>>>>>> Sheesh, what about Hamms ?
>>>>> And buy some ham for the party, dude!
>>>> http://ehams.com/default.htm
>>>> Sammiches for all!
>>>
>>> Then you'd better bring an assortment of bread and condiments,
>>> Greg. And don't forget the cheese!
>>
>> Are you kidding? I'm not attending unless you get some actual beer
>> there!
>
>Sounds like a way to keep the rif-raf away, or the rip-rap, or the rim-ram,
>whatever it's called.

I'll bring the Bud, Tony. You spring for the ham, bread, and
condiments. And without Greg there we can actually invite some
women!!!

== 5 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:23 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> And without Greg there we can actually invite some
> women!!!

I can understand you not wanting me around; the competition for the ladies'
attention would have been more than you could handle.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:38 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

MosNot wrote:

> "peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:C1s_i.8174$763.2810@trnddc07...
>
>>MosNot wrote:
>>
>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>
>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>>>
>>>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>"Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com> wrote in message
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>How is anybody sure about anything ?
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Ask someone like Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh how they manage it.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Oh, so now you're gonna start telling me what to do.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> What do you mean START?
>>>>>
>>>>>Usually he makes a rude comment, not an order.
>>>>
>>>> Oh. Maybe he just orders me around.
>>>
>>>But you like it.
>>
>> Shhhhhhh!!!
>
>
> Now, don't you start telling me what to do !
> (unless it's something nastyfun)
>
>
After you called me a bitch in another thread? Why'd I wanna tell
YOU something nastyfun?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: lost opportunity regained?
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4300ee33cbd5c8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:40 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

Greg Evans wrote:

> peachy ashie passion wrote:
>
>
>>>>Would you let me put bubbles in?
>>>
>>>It probably depends on how they're generated.
>>
>> *giggles*
>> knew SOMEone had to say it, but I really thought it'd come from
>>Larry.
>
>
> Forgive me; I was in a bubbly mood, and thought it'd be a real gas to
> make that joke.
>
> Greg
> those were stinky puns, weren't they?
>
>
*sigh*

Exceedingly

== 2 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:40 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

MosNot wrote:

> "peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:fVJ_i.13244$jH2.12600@trnddc01...
>
>>MosNot wrote:
>>
>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>
>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>>>
>>>>>>Greg Evans wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>Well, cleanliness IS next to godliness...
>>>>>
>>>>>> Sounds like I'm not the only one fond of a hot bath.
>>>>>
>>>>>I got a whirlpool tub....with an in-line heater.....
>>>>>(only bath I've ever been in that the water's hotter at the end
>>>>>of the bath than the beginning. Not counting natrual springs)
>>>>
>>>> *purrrrrr*
>>>>Would you let me put bubbles in?
>>>
>>>I dunno....she as cute as you ?
>>>
>>
>> *raised eyebrow*
>> Honey, I'm not thinking you could handle two of me.
>
>
> Feh. More like two of you couldn't handle me.
>
>

That may well be true.

Heaven knows you are more than *I* know what to do with.

== 3 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:41 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:36:54 GMT, peachy ashie passion
> <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>>>>Would you let me put bubbles in?
>>>
>>>It probably depends on how they're generated.
>>
>> *giggles*
>> knew SOMEone had to say it, but I really thought it'd come from Larry.
>
>
> You think that I fart in the tub? What have I ever done to deserve
> this treatment?

I think you can't resist a good gross out joke.

== 4 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:33 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> ... I was drunk and drank out of the kids'
> pool thinking it was a large highball. I probably shouldn't
> have picked that kids' pool even though the yellow colored
> water looked enticing. I won't describe the taste here.

Dude - that was the leaf-skimmer pole, not a giant swizzle stick!

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Joke about 0J
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8c618670516ba7cb?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:10 pm
From: "kewlbox11@gmail.com"

I woke up last night and went downstairs to get some O.J. I put him
back and found out there wasn't any orange juice. My brother had it
and he was staring at the label that said concentrate.

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