rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* 12/12/12 - 3 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
* Scottish Dentist - 7 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* Stupid Mistake - 3 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
* Free Rx Assistance - 2 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/e938ce23f46f8b36?hl=en
* Sex novels by instant download - 2 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
* lost opportunity regained? - 8 messages, 5 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4300ee33cbd5c8?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 12/12/12
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 10:15 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:ktbmj3lrg27bqa7609aj8oh9ofuaeme7ct@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:55:45 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
> wrote:
>
>>>> Now I'll never get it out of my head today!
>>>> Arrgh!!
>>>
>>> I may be able to help you with that, Greg.
>>
>>Sorry, I stopped reading at this point - I know better than to think
>>you would volunteer to help me.
>
> Would you believe me if I offered to pay my setup fees in full?

Feh. As if you'll ever make that much.

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 12:04 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

MosNot wrote:

>>> I may be able to help you with that, Greg.
>> Sorry, I stopped reading at this point - I know better than to
>> think you would volunteer to help me.
>
> Now, if he'd said, "You can pay me for this later".....

...Then I'd have said, "I can pay you *no mind* !"

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:03 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com> wrote in message
news:5q12hqFtkcgaU1@mid.individual.net...
> MosNot wrote:
>
>>>> I may be able to help you with that, Greg.
>>> Sorry, I stopped reading at this point - I know better than to
>>> think you would volunteer to help me.
>>
>> Now, if he'd said, "You can pay me for this later".....
>
> ...Then I'd have said, "I can pay you *no mind* !"

No fair using an unlimited supply !

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 10:17 am
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com> wrote in message
news:5q0j5mFtifucU1@mid.individual.net...
> MosNot wrote:
>
>>> Perhaps one day you'll buy a spell checker that actually
>>> works.
>>
>> That would cuticate out about half yer commentcations.
>
> I'm not seeing the downside here.

Joyous celebratiness for all.

== 2 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 10:18 am
From: Lichy

On 20 ruj, 12:02, **Rowland Croucher**
<rccrouc...@pleasedeletethisoptusnet.com.au> wrote:
> A Scotsman phones a dentist to enquire about the cost for a tooth
> extraction.
>
> "£85 for an extraction, sir" the dentist replied.
>
> "£85!!! Huv ye no'got anythin' cheaper?"
>
> "That's the normal charge," said the dentist.
>
> "Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anesthetic?"
>
> "That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and knock £15 off.
>
> "Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and still
> without an anesthetic?"
>
> "I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be painful.
> But the price could drop to £40".
>
> "How aboot if ye make it a trainin' session, ave yer student do
> the extraction with the other students watchin' and learnin'?"
>
> It'll be good for the students", mulled the dentist. "and it's
> going to be very traumatic, but I'll charge you £5."
>
> "Ochh-man , now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal," said the Scotsman.
>
> "Can ye confirm an appointment for the wife next Tuesday then?"
> --
>
> Shalom/Salaam/Pax! Rowland Croucher
>
good one...

== 3 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 10:19 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:ll9mj35ich0l3f43qhiih3ok8vbbss56dl@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:10:04 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>> You needn't brag about knowning Larry.
>>>>>
>>>>> Greg doesn't really known me at all, kid.
>>>>
>>>>Not so you'd knowntice, anyway.
>>>
>>> I knewn you were going to say that.
>>
>>Ahem. It's "I knewn you was gonna said that."
>
> Oops, my bad. You'll have to excuse my foray into the unknow.

Negatorynessification on that. One must always be awaredness.

== 4 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 10:20 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:4o9mj3p0o2dp68qtokt3moaj7dm2hb076r@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 10:41:40 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
> wrote:
>
>>>> Perhaps one day you'll buy a spell checker that actually
>>>> works.
>>>
>>> That would cuticate out about half yer commentcations.
>>
>>I'm not seeing the downside here.
>
> Me neither. Commenting on Mos's spelling is more fun that a barrel of
> monkeys.

Those monkeys gotta be doing something
when they're not typing your replies.

== 5 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 10:21 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:5r9mj3d75k85pfus4kcsoesvl4nlvfojsl@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:13:34 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>> I knew she was in a few. One of my wife's favorite movies is
>>> "Roxanne" and Shelly Duvall has a role in it. My wife must have
>>> watched it 100 times over the years. We own the DVD.
>>
>>Well, one of my favourite movies is "Alien" and she's not in it.
>>And I own the DVD.
>>Come to think of it, she's not in almost all the DVDs I own.
>
> She isn't in any of my faviourite movies at all. In fact, I'm not
> sure I even have a faviourite movie.

As long as you're sure of that.
At least I know I don't have a favourite movie.

== 6 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 10:23 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:97amj3ttjbeqavb0gc50400t943pqikgaa@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:16:02 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>> Usually he makes a rude comment, not an order.
>>>>
>>>>I gotcher "order" right here!
>>>
>>> Ask him if he wants fries with that.
>>
>>I already ordered Prime rib~medium rare,
>>baked potato, brussel sprouts, and a Guinness.
>
> Ask him if he wants fries with that, Greg.

Everything Larry needed to know,
he learned while working at McDonalds.

== 7 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 10:26 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:k8amj39afk3bosj4v2t05a25mvk6tovm2t@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:14:54 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>See why I say your opinions don't count.
>>>>>>>>>>>>> There's a reason that I don't number them, Mos.
>>>>>>>>>>>>Because one is the loneliest number.
>>>>>>>>>>> No, because they all fight to be number 1. I can't afford to
>>>>>>>>>>> show
>>>>>>>>>>> any
>>>>>>>>>>> favoritism.
>>>>>>>>>>So you don't care who you vote for.
>>>>>>>>> I can't answer that if my opinions don't count.
>>>>>>>>Exactly.
>>>>>>> But I will anyhow.
>>>>>>How can you if you can't ?
>>>>> By using Rule #1, of course!
>>>>You mean this one:
>>>>http://tinyurl.com/yqb946
>>>
>>> Although that may be a good Rule #1 for cannabis, it isn't as good as
>>> my Rule #1 for rec.humor.
>>
>>You didn't specifly Rule #1 for rec.humor.
>>Besides, we don't believe you.
>
> Then you're finally grasping the basic tenet of Rule #1. Took you
> long enough!

Nope, still working on convincing you we don't believe you.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Stupid Mistake
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 11:34 am
From: "ynotssor"

In news:5q0q1dFte6bfU1@mid.individual.net,
Greg Evans <fake@bogus.com> wrote:

>>>>>> Get a keg, dude! PARTY!
>>>>> Sheesh, what about Hamms ?
>>>> And buy some ham for the party, dude!
>>> http://ehams.com/default.htm
>>> Sammiches for all!
>>
>> Then you'd better bring an assortment of bread and condiments,
>> Greg. And don't forget the cheese!
>
> Are you kidding? I'm not attending unless you get some actual beer
> there!

Sounds like a way to keep the rif-raf away, or the rip-rap, or the rim-ram,
whatever it's called.

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 1:33 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

MosNot wrote:

> "Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
> news:0h9mj3118ba9301b5hmr08m4h710q11v1d@4ax.com...
>
>>On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:08:34 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
>>
>>>>>>>>>Speaking of which.....how's your luck
>>>>>>>>>with Summer, Elisabeth, or Peachy ?
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Well, they all are still talking to me.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>That would be noisy.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>I never said I was actually listening to them.
>>>>>
>>>>>It would still be noisy.
>>>>
>>>>Yeah, but I tune it out most of the time.
>>>
>>>Shows you have a closed mind.
>>
>>No, it doesn't. It shows that I have my ears stuffed with cotton.
>
>
> You can't hear women bitch with beans in your ears.

You wouldn't hear them bitch at all iffn ya didn't date bitches.

Yeesh.

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:01 pm
From: "MosNot"

"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:BQJ_i.13242$jH2.2894@trnddc01...
> MosNot wrote:
>> "Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
>>>On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:08:34 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
>>>>>>>>>>Speaking of which.....how's your luck
>>>>>>>>>>with Summer, Elisabeth, or Peachy ?
>>>>>>>>>Well, they all are still talking to me.
>>>>>>>>That would be noisy.
>>>>>>>I never said I was actually listening to them.
>>>>>>It would still be noisy.
>>>>>Yeah, but I tune it out most of the time.
>>>>Shows you have a closed mind.
>>>No, it doesn't. It shows that I have my ears stuffed with cotton.
>> You can't hear women bitch with beans in your ears.
>
> You wouldn't hear them bitch at all iffn ya didn't date bitches.

As if there's any other kind.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Free Rx Assistance
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/e938ce23f46f8b36?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 12:44 pm
From: t7dgbnak

Here is another site that really helped me and my family deal with the
high cost of prescription drugs at http://www.americanconsultantsrx.com
.It may help.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:00 pm
From: "MosNot"

"t7dgbnak" <healthinsurance1jxwa@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1195073070.822848.25380@22g2000hsm.googlegroups.com...
> Here is another site that really helped me and my family deal with the
> high cost of prescription drugs at http://www.americanconsultantsrx.com
> .It may help.

Yeah, it may help your family.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Sex novels by instant download
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 1:31 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

MosNot wrote:

> "Dave" <dave.jay@virgilio.it> wrote in message news:1195016143..googs.com...
>
>>Instant download bondage and spanking novels,
>
>
> Read about it !?!
> It's just not the same.
>
>

Yeah, but since we ain't doing it, reading about it might just be
better than nothing.

But only if it's got a plot.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 4:59 pm
From: "MosNot"

"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:bPJ_i.13240$jH2.2083@trnddc01...
> MosNot wrote:
>
>> "Dave" <dave.jay@virgilio.it> wrote in message
>> news:1195016143..googs.com...
>>
>>>Instant download bondage and spanking novels,
>>
>> Read about it !?!
>> It's just not the same.
>
> Yeah, but since we ain't doing it, reading about it might just be
> better than nothing.

Right. And we all just read cook books when we're hungry.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: lost opportunity regained?
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4300ee33cbd5c8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 1:36 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

Greg Evans wrote:

> peachy ashie passion wrote:
>
>
>> Would you let me put bubbles in?
>
>
> It probably depends on how they're generated.
>
>

*giggles*
knew SOMEone had to say it, but I really thought it'd come from Larry.

== 2 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 1:38 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

MosNot wrote:

> "peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:gws_i.5837$VB6.137@trnddc06...
>
>>MosNot wrote:
>>
>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>
>>>>Greg Evans wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>Well, cleanliness IS next to godliness...
>>>>
>>>> Sounds like I'm not the only one fond of a hot bath.
>>>
>>>I got a whirlpool tub....with an in-line heater.....
>>>(only bath I've ever been in that the water's hotter at the end
>>>of the bath than the beginning. Not counting natrual springs)
>>
>> *purrrrrr*
>>
>> Would you let me put bubbles in?
>
>
> I dunno....she as cute as you ?
>

*raised eyebrow*

Honey, I'm not thinking you could handle two of me.

== 3 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 1:41 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:WTJ_i.13243$jH2.5623@trnddc01,
peachy ashie passion <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>> Would you let me put bubbles in?
>>
>> It probably depends on how they're generated.
>
> *giggles*
> knew SOMEone had to say it, but I really thought it'd come from
> Larry.

Greg knows Bubbles too, but she usually takes up the entire tub and
displaces all the water.

== 4 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 1:45 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

peachy ashie passion wrote:

>>> Would you let me put bubbles in?
>> It probably depends on how they're generated.
>
> *giggles*
> knew SOMEone had to say it, but I really thought it'd come from
> Larry.

Forgive me; I was in a bubbly mood, and thought it'd be a real gas to
make that joke.

Greg
those were stinky puns, weren't they?

== 5 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:02 pm
From: "MosNot"

"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:fVJ_i.13244$jH2.12600@trnddc01...
> MosNot wrote:
>> "peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>>>Greg Evans wrote:
>>>>Well, cleanliness IS next to godliness...
>>>>> Sounds like I'm not the only one fond of a hot bath.
>>>>I got a whirlpool tub....with an in-line heater.....
>>>>(only bath I've ever been in that the water's hotter at the end
>>>>of the bath than the beginning. Not counting natrual springs)
>>> *purrrrrr*
>>> Would you let me put bubbles in?
>> I dunno....she as cute as you ?
>>
> *raised eyebrow*
> Honey, I'm not thinking you could handle two of me.

Feh. More like two of you couldn't handle me.

== 6 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:21 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 12:55:04 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>> Are you suggesting that I don't makes waves?
>
>Ha. I heard you were permanently banned from the municipal swimming
>pool for nearly emptying it with one of your high-dive "cannonballs".

You heard wrong. It wasn't that I did a high-dive cannonball into a
swimming pool; I was drunk and drank out of the kids' pool thinking it
was a large highball. I probably shouldn't have picked that kids'
pool even though the yellow colored water looked enticing. I won't
describe the taste here.

== 7 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:22 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:11:55 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>Greg owns cruise boats with Boston Shipping ?

Close. He's the cruise director for the all possum cruises.

== 8 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 5:23 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:36:54 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>> Would you let me put bubbles in?
>>
>> It probably depends on how they're generated.
>
> *giggles*
> knew SOMEone had to say it, but I really thought it'd come from Larry.

You think that I fart in the tub? What have I ever done to deserve
this treatment?

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