rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* Chinese food - 10 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en
* surrender - 2 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
* Scottish Dentist - 10 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* 125 Days - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/ebcb3e20620356e1?hl=en
* 25 Days - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/abdab088c9f42574?hl=en
* I usually don't plug websites, but... Lets Say Thanks - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/bc539675a937ecf6?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Chinese food
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:30 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:5k87k3d0d85h6l5gskn9rvl326m3jgj04b@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 22:36:28 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
> <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:
>
>>>>>>This is boring. Do something more funny.
>>>>>
>>>>>Cool. I always did enjoy telling jokes when I ride bareback.
>>>>
>>>> With cool you mean the weather situation when riding bare?
>>>
>>>He meant that him being naked is something to joke about.
>>
>>I didn't know he was aware of that.
>
> I do have mirrors, you know.

And you should thank Summer for them.

== 2 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:31 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:7l87k39qikbm4p2mqpnf2as0ou9sipu79k@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 22:36:28 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
> <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:
>
>>Only in south California.
>
> Come for the sunshine. Stay for the lifestyle.

..."airhead"....

== 3 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:31 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:2m87k3t4frie6ohh96s02kau5ghk7fcq59@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:03:34 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>This is boring. Do something more funny.
>>>>>
>>>>>Cool. I always did enjoy telling jokes when I ride bareback.
>>>>
>>>>With cool you mean the weather situation when riding bare?
>>>
>>> Not exactly. Body heat and strenuous exercise usually keeps me warm.
>>
>>He means his fat body puts out a lot of heat when he types.
>
> So what if I have warm fingers?

Then take off your mittens.

== 4 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 8:58 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>
> I do have mirrors, you know.

Then quit asking for 'em!

== 5 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 9:00 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

Greg Evans wrote:
>
> Discretion is the better part of valor. Or, why would I want this
> particular adventure to be my last?

Miss Elisabeth isn't worthy of your last? <raised eyebrow> Dare ya to admit
what/who is worthy

== 6 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 9:38 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:snj6k3l1hjmbmqo433i8cvo66cdusmh070@4ax.com,
Elisabeth Mueller <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>> You have twenty-thousand legumes under there, I sea.
>>>> Are you calling Elisabeth a washed-up has-bean??
>>>
>>> So that is what he meant? I am shocked!
>>
>> Hey, it was ynotssor - I'm just shocked he didn't say something like
>> that sooner!
>
> I wouldn't have understood anyway until you translated it.

At least she washes up occasionally.

== 7 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 9:42 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:5qh2okF6iqffU1@mid.individual.net,
Greg Evans <fake@bogus.com> wrote:

> Q: How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
> A: One - he holds the bulb, and drinks until the room spins.

Bass? There are some crappie players that would challenge that statement.
http://www.crappiestuff.com/

== 8 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 9:44 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:7l87k39qikbm4p2mqpnf2as0ou9sipu79k@4ax.com,
Larry Krzewinski <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote:

>> Only in south California.
>
> Come for the sunshine. Stay for the lifestyle.

You call *that* a lifestyle?

== 9 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 9:45 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:sm87k39e1c3hr461m6qjf4bg68l6btom1k@4ax.com,
Larry Krzewinski <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote:

>> "Strenuous exercise", for Larry, means having to get up off the
>> couch to get another beer from the fridge.
>
> I hate doing that! That was the primary reason I got married.

To get a couch and refrigerator?

== 10 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 10:37 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:9o87k39fsdpljifeh8105glggeunupid5m@4ax.com,
Larry Krzewinski <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote:

>> Shoot, that requires a major expedition - he has to actually *walk
>> out of his house* to get to his car, then drive it to McDonalds to
>> get the food!
>
> It ain't easy getting those keys in the ignition.

I was recently at the scene of witnessing such an attempt when I was 18
years old sometime in the last century. I lived in a simple apartment above
a tavern and worked nights at a grocery store, so I had some nights off
which I spent on the road bicycling with two friends. Those were the days,
as they say.

It was about 1:30 in the morning when we returned from a 25-mile-or-so
adventure to find an middle-aged man had exited the tavern and was stabbing
his key into his car door, trying to find the lock while stumbling about on
and off the curb. We suggested to him that it would be better to call a cab
since he was obviously very drunk and shouldn't be driving, and he responded
by offering us his wallet for some reason, which of course we declined,
stating that we'd rather have his keys which we'd leave inside with the
bartender who would call the taxi.

He seemed antagonized by this and grabbed the below-shoulder-length hair of
one of my companions and started twirling him about. My friend's arm was in
a plaster cast from above the elbow, so he had limited ability to defend
himself from such an attack. I told the guy "LET GO OF HIM! ... LET GO OF
HIM OR I'M GONNA HIT YOU! ... OK, I'M GONNA HIT YOU ... " and delivered a
single solid punch-through directly on the point of his chin. Of course he
went down and stayed down, unconscious as such a delivery always guarantees.

In those pre-"911" days when one could do such a thing, I went upstairs to
my apartment and made an anonymous 'phone call to the police stating what
had happened, and pretty soon the coloured lights were flashing outside, and
things evolved as they should. The next day I went into the tavern and
(playing dumb) asked the bartender what all the commotion was outside early
in the morning. "Oh, a few punks tried to rob Harvey. Everybody knows he
always carries a thousand bucks in his wallet, but he fought 'em off, the
bastards!"

I like to think that maybe we saved a few lives that night and added one
more true story to the cheap-heroics collection.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: surrender
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:33 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:6697k3le124ukbnq1ufkj5b0o4eghbudp3@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:14:03 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>>>> Honest John(son)?
>>>>>>>> <hands Greg a mirror> you tell me
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I don't even know how a Johnson COULD lie.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Johnsons don't lie - they're proud, standup characters!
>>>>>
>>>>> You are stealing my lines, Evans!
>>>>
>>>>Can't write on unruled paper, huh.
>>>
>>> Nope. And my handwriting is terrible enough to begin with.
>>
>>And surely to end with.
>
> A period, usually.

You properly used a comma !

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 9:13 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

MosNot wrote:
> Greg Evans wrote"
>
>>>>>> I thought it was "Second star to the right, and straight
>>>>>> on 'til morning"?
>>>>> You will never, never find the secret entry that way.
>>>> You've Hooked me with your description.
>>>
>>> The fun of this conversation is petering out.
>>
>> It's just wendyng its way through the usual plot twists and turns.
>
> Some people might get lost, boys.

Quit tinkering with this thimble before you lose your marbles

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:34 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:l297k3tlp3fa3vfsoif0kq5tfpr5b1bvim@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:14:32 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>>>>How can you be so certain? The man can be very forthcoming
>>>>>>>>>in his emails, etc.
>>>>>>>> That man? Please remember that we are discussing Mos here.
>>>>>>> No, we're discussing MosNot . . . you really need to learn to make
>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>> distinction
>>>>>>He still hasn't figured out, even though
>>>>>>it's been mentioned a number of times,
>>>>>>Mos and I are not the same person.
>>>>> I don't believe you.
>>>>Since we can't believe anything you say,
>>>>you then do believe I'm not Mos.
>>>
>>> Then I don't believe me.
>>
>>Can't say I blame you.
>
> But I do blame me. How about them apples?

Winesap or Granny Smith ?

== 2 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:36 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:t997k3p3t04a8hgiefncgbve6ilhr5cmna@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:21:09 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>> Some people are the drippers and some are
>>>>>> the drippees.
>>>>>
>>>>> There a setup fee if we refer to you as the
>>>>> drippeest ?
>>>> ^^^^^^^^^^^
>>>>There's probably a setup fee if we refer to your spelling...
>>>
>>> Which is exactly why I didn't reply to him.
>>
>>Oh, man, and I was goin' with the flow.
>
> Which brings us back to Summer the plumber.

Ehh, so she runs hot and cold.

== 3 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:36 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:hb97k3p4dfci629il7l2p2oeak2h81uehu@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:22:31 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>> Never gonna happen.
>>
>>Oh, so you're never gonna specify the sexy women in r.h.
>
> Never gonna happen.

Coward.

== 4 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:39 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:ta97k356db3g31jm9d5jmo25n1ev35qi21@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:23:20 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>> Since you didn't specify the sexy women in r.h. only:
>>>>> Looks like you'll be busy a long time since no matter
>>>>> what women look like and what they weight, most of
>>>>> them think they are sexy when they're horny.
>>>>
>>>>http://tinyurl.com/ynq5om
>>>
>>> That happens all the time. Women: You can't live without them and
>>> it's illegal to shoot them so wadda ya gonna do?
>>
>>And if it weren't for our hormones,
>>they'd be just another meat animal.
>
> If?

If: Implies a condition on which something depends.

== 5 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:40 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:me97k3ta8ormo05eq85a9uhkj63kqoeudg@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:25:48 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>> But what if Rule #1 was a lie?
>>
>>You left out a comma.
>
> Kiss my but!

....heh...

== 6 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 9:03 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

MosNot wrote:
> SummersFrenzy wrote:
>
>> I'm not the one eatin' at fast food joints of any nature . . .
>
> Not even Schlotzsky's or Quiznos ?.

Schlotzky's keeps closing . . . I don't remember when I was last subjected
to 'em . . . and Quiznos don't have drive-thru's . . . completely
un-ecologically conscious of me . . . but there ya go . . .

== 7 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 9:04 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

Greg Evans wrote:
> SummersFrenzy wrote:
>
>> I'm not the one eatin' at fast food joints of any nature . . .
>
> Fast food joints rarely have much to do with nature.

Good point . . . last time I went to one, they took offense at my request
for au natural attire

== 8 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 9:08 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>
> Which brings us back to Summer the plumber.

<raised eyebrow>

== 9 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 9:09 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

MosNot wrote:
> Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>
>> Which brings us back to Summer the plumber.
>
> Ehh, so she runs hot and cold.

You want lukewarm, you gotta accept still water

== 10 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 9:34 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:13k7f5m8t8fj351@corp.supernews.com,
SummersFrenzy <icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>> Fast food joints rarely have much to do with nature.
>
> Good point . . . last time I went to one, they took offense at my
> request for au natural attire

They probably served you a bald retread.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 125 Days
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/ebcb3e20620356e1?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 9:19 pm
From: Tim Bruening

125 days to Easter Monday.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 25 Days
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/abdab088c9f42574?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 9:20 pm
From: Tim Bruening

25 days to my stepfather Ernie's 80th birthday!

==============================================================================
TOPIC: I usually don't plug websites, but... Lets Say Thanks
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/bc539675a937ecf6?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 9:36 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:u177k3plv8032hhrtn87a2am7mhhgjo32s@4ax.com,
Larry Krzewinski <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote:

> If our troops think that I'm wearing a burqa they have got another
> thing coming.

You mean, the fact that it's paisley?

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