rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* Scottish Dentist - 16 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* Parody Commercials (Adult Content) - 2 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/3a559d29d369e931?hl=en
* surrender - 4 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
* 12/12/12 - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
* Sex novels by instant download - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
* ATJ.. Completely destroyed - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/3f2805ea1da0a7e1?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:09 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 02:06:40 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
<icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>How can you be so certain? The man can be very forthcoming
>>>in his emails, etc.
>>
>> That man? Please remember that we are discussing Mos here.
>
>No, we're discussing MosNot . . . you really need to learn to make that
>distinction

A rose by any other name would still have thorns.

== 2 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:10 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 11:30:13 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>How can you be so certain? The man can be very forthcoming
>>>>in his emails, etc.
>>> That man? Please remember that we are discussing Mos here.
>> No, we're discussing MosNot . . . you really need to learn to make that
>> distinction
>
>He still hasn't figured out, even though
>it's been mentioned a number of times,
>Mos and I are not the same person.

I don't believe you.

== 3 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:11 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 11:32:09 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> Is Peachy cheating on me, bondage porn-wise, Greg? Tell
>> me it ain't so!
>
>I think I can say with some confidence that cheating on you is not a
>significant issue for Peachy.

Whew! What a relief.

== 4 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:14 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 02:09:35 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
<icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>> . . . she's been kind and tried to protect Larry's ego
>>
>> My ego is very fragile, you know.
>
>Crystal can be like that . . . good strong chemical bond (I think), but
>otherwise fairly weak . . . oh wait, that's MY ego . . . sheesh

I shall be careful never to drop your ego.

Whoops! Sorry! Let me find some super glue.

Ok, then. Let me rephrase my original reply. I shall be careful
never to drop your ego on purpose.

== 5 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:15 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 11:21:20 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> "No comment", Peachy thought. She would have said it out loud but for
>>>> the ball gag that had been loving placed in her mouth. Her back
>>>> arched in pain caused by the hot candle wax being dripped onto her...
>>>
>>>What is this, more Remedial Writer's Class ?
>>
>> In your case, that would be remedial reading class.
>
>Oo, snappy come back. You're sharp as a marshmellow.

Want S'more, do you?

== 6 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:16 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 02:11:16 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
<icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>> "No comment", Peachy thought. She would have said it out
>>>> loud but for the ball gag that had been loving placed in her
>>>> mouth. Her back arched in pain caused by the hot candle wax
>>>> being dripped onto her...
>>>
>>> You know, it's actually not that painful. It's a lot like warm
>>>water. Very soothing.
>>
>> God, I love true confessions!
>
>Your lack of experience is showing

Some people are the drippers and some are the drippees.

== 7 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:18 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 17:03:55 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>>"No comment", Peachy thought. She would have said it out loud but for
>>>>the ball gag that had been loving placed in her mouth. Her back
>>>>arched in pain caused by the hot candle wax being dripped onto her...
>>>
>>> You know, it's actually not that painful. It's a lot like warm
>>>water. Very soothing.
>>
>> God, I love true confessions!
>
> Yeah, you and I really gotta talk more.

Quick! To the Bat Cave, er, Email Cave, Peachy Girl!

== 8 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:44 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 11:22:04 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> "No comment", Peachy thought. She would have said it out loud but for
>>>> the ball gag that had been loving placed in her mouth. Her back
>>>> arched in pain caused by the hot candle wax being dripped onto her...
>>>
>>> You know, it's actually not that painful. It's a lot like warm
>>>water. Very soothing.
>>
>> God, I love true confessions!
>
>From everybody....?

No. From sexy women only.

== 9 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:46 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 02:17:03 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
<icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>wow - easy play . . . where's the bondage stuff?
>>
>> That was in an earlier post. Where were you, missy?
>
>Working . . . flirting outrageously . . . working . . . titillating
>coworkers at the holiday party . . . working . . . finding cute guys to
>torment . . . working . . . slept for a bit . . . did I mention I was
>working?

Yes, but exactly what is your job description?

== 10 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:47 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:leg4k3d3drep4rud13o3p9n12tr1o688vb@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 02:06:40 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
> <icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>>>How can you be so certain? The man can be very forthcoming
>>>>in his emails, etc.
>>>
>>> That man? Please remember that we are discussing Mos here.
>>
>>No, we're discussing MosNot . . . you really need to learn to make that
>>distinction
>
> A rose by any other name would still have thorns.

Rose ?! Solanum Solanaceae Nachtschatten, if you please.

== 11 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:47 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 02:20:30 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
<icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>>> Looks like she's on to us, guys!
>>>>
>>>> Dang! I usually hide it better than that.
>>>
>>>Only because they *want* to believe they're sly . . .
>>
>> We're sly as sloths. Wait... did that sound right?
>
>Certainly, dear . . . sleepily crafty and even somewhat dodgy

I'm almost too lazy to reply.

== 12 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:48 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 17:02:05 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>>>Looks like she's on to us, guys!
>>>>
>>>> Dang! I usually hide it better than that.
>>>
>>>Only because they *want* to believe they're sly . . .
>>
>> We're sly as sloths. Wait... did that sound right?
>
> Sounded accurate. So probably not what you'd meant to say.

Saved by Rule #1 yet again!

== 13 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:49 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:33:10 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>> I hope I am invited.
>>>>>
>>>>>Missed it. Tonight...pork chops and brussel sprouts.
>>>>
>>>>Brussels sprouts? Eww YUCK!
>>>
>>> But they are fun!
>>
>>Bet he doesn't like artichokes, either.
>
>He doesn't know what is good.

He does too!

== 14 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:50 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:ofg4k3h3n4l8obb66tfnmit028tkmb74hs@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 11:30:13 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>How can you be so certain? The man can be very forthcoming
>>>>>in his emails, etc.
>>>> That man? Please remember that we are discussing Mos here.
>>> No, we're discussing MosNot . . . you really need to learn to make that
>>> distinction
>>
>>He still hasn't figured out, even though
>>it's been mentioned a number of times,
>>Mos and I are not the same person.
>
> I don't believe you.

Since we can't believe anything you say,
you then do believe I'm not Mos.

== 15 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:51 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:spg4k3daap4fdju4q9jo8o5tfso5sb2m55@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 11:21:20 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>> "No comment", Peachy thought. She would have said it out loud but for
>>>>> the ball gag that had been loving placed in her mouth. Her back
>>>>> arched in pain caused by the hot candle wax being dripped onto her...
>>>>
>>>>What is this, more Remedial Writer's Class ?
>>>
>>> In your case, that would be remedial reading class.
>>
>>Oo, snappy come back. You're sharp as a marshmellow.
>
> Want S'more, do you?

Too cloyingly sweet. I'd rather
have chocolate coated bacon.

== 16 of 16 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:52 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:3rg4k35q0uufpiedla10m9i6st1hphsmjl@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 02:11:16 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
> <icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>>>> "No comment", Peachy thought. She would have said it out
>>>>> loud but for the ball gag that had been loving placed in her
>>>>> mouth. Her back arched in pain caused by the hot candle wax
>>>>> being dripped onto her...
>>>>
>>>> You know, it's actually not that painful. It's a lot like warm
>>>>water. Very soothing.
>>>
>>> God, I love true confessions!
>>
>>Your lack of experience is showing
>
> Some people are the drippers and some are the drippees.

There a setup fee if we refer to you as the drippeest ?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Parody Commercials (Adult Content)
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/3a559d29d369e931?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:50 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:33:10 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>>>>You know that I'm unforgettable.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>*whine*
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Let's just say that I really do know how to whine and dine a lady.
>>>>>
>>>>>I am sure you know.
>>>>
>>>>More whine, dear?
>>>
>>>Of course.
>>
>>Please, please, please pick up the check!
>
>Did it fall down?

Yes, it did. Please bend over and pick it up off the floor.

<Larry runs out the door while Elisabeth looks for the check>

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:51 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:33:10 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>>>><Larry says CHEESE>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>click click klick klick
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Are you sharpening a knife?
>>>>>
>>>>>Me? No, never.
>>>>
>>>>Ok. Are you sharpening your wood chipper?
>>>
>>>getting warmer ...
>>
>>Sharpen slower, dear.
>
>Sharpening is a science of its own and should not be rushed.

That's why I told you to sharpen slower!

==============================================================================
TOPIC: surrender
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 4 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:52 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:54:36 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>I absolutely, positively agree with Elisabeth about everything.
>>>
>>>Good.
>>>
>>>>Larry
>>>>Consider that statement an act of self-preservation.
>>>
>>>I need to test my new knife set on somebody else.
>>
>>I volunteer Mos.
>
>So this is how volunteering is done in California.

No, this is how volunteering is done in rec.humor.

== 2 of 4 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:52 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 15:17:28 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>I absolutely, positively agree with Elisabeth about everything.
>>>>
>>>>Good.
>>>>
>>>>>Larry
>>>>>Consider that statement an act of self-preservation.
>>>>
>>>>I need to test my new knife set on somebody else.
>>>
>>>I volunteer Mos.
>>
>> So this is how volunteering is done in California.
>
>Everything is easier when somebody else does it.

Greg volunteers Mos too.

== 3 of 4 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:53 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 16:57:05 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>>>> Honest John(son)?
>>> <hands Greg a mirror> you tell me
>>
>> I don't even know how a Johnson COULD lie.
>
>Johnsons don't lie - they're proud, standup characters!

You are stealing my lines, Evans!

== 4 of 4 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:54 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:54:37 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>>>>Try harder.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Give me a minute. Getting inside dis tail is hard work.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>A *minute* ? Wow . . . 38hours later, and he's asking for a minute
>>>>>
>>>>>I don't mind. I live outside your space-time-continuum.
>>>>
>>>>Which parallel dimension did you visit this week, dear?
>>>
>>>Earth 617.
>>
>>Pick me up some Danish the next time you're there.
>
>Sorry I forgot.
>Don't feel blue now.

It's the total lack of oxygen in your dimension that causes that.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 12/12/12
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:53 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:72g4k31i7b2sv4tdd68ldjcaapporaobk9@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 11:11:54 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>> You're the one who thinks he's a "nice guy".
>>>>
>>>>Rule #1 !
>>>
>>> It's in the archives, Mos. You actually said you liked him quite a
>>> number of times. Don't make me post your quotes here.
>>
>>Wasn't me. If you want to prove it,
>>post the quotes including the conversation.
>
> Including your IP address?

Why not ? I already posted my fax number.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Sex novels by instant download
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:54 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:tqf4k39kefkarj67f3isu0d55fp1f1cbg1@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 11:14:39 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>> Some folks obviously have absolutely no reading comprehension skills
>>>>> at all.
>>>>
>>>>SRPOTW !!
>>>
>>> Not even close. Nice try, though.
>>
>>Oh, my bad. It should have been SRPOTY.
>
> You obviously underestimate my skills. It should have been the SRPOTD
> award.

Only because once you do a good job,
others expect you to do better.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: ATJ.. Completely destroyed
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/3f2805ea1da0a7e1?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:55 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:hdf4k3h7i9njajrgfgjn7erpc86lqva5dl@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 17:48:33 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>> . . It was Larry and Greg who noted that she has your number
>>>
>>> Yippee!! Hooray for us!
>>
>>Horrays for Greg and Larry, cheese for Elisabeth !
>
> I can't speak for Greg, but why in the world would I want prostitute
> sting rays?

Ghost fish, dude, ghost fish.

==============================================================================

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