rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* Stupid Mistake - 2 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
* Two days - 5 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/be16f8b4c2a63696?hl=en
* Nerds..... + NL - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2e9fe36b44eb44db?hl=en
* Scottish Dentist - 14 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* Parody Commercials (Adult Content) - 2 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/3a559d29d369e931?hl=en
* surrender - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Stupid Mistake
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
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== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:09 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 11:26:30 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> Free love with Summer, guys!
>>>>
>>>> I call first!
>>>
>>>Well, it would be rude just to show up.
>>
>> Are you calling second?
>
>Already there.

You're too late.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:09 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 11:27:22 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>> Nah, I'm done now. Especially since this thread was being
>>>>>> crossposted to the pun group, I couldn't let such a golden
>>>>>> opportunity be left...undelivered, shall we say.
>>>>> That was you ringing the doorbell, then? oops
>>>> But I *always* ring twice!
>>>
>>> Greg is the Postman!
>>
>> Thank you, Captain Obvious.
>
>Sometimes Larry has to explain it to himself.

Yeah, Greg!

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Two days
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/be16f8b4c2a63696?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:10 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:07:15 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>I always was good at whining and dining a girl.
>>>
>>>Now where have I heared that before?
>>
>>From me?
>
>Yup. Now pass the bottle.

But it's already empty!

== 2 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:10 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:07:15 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>I know that is extremely difficult to
>>>>>distinguish ie from ei.
>>>>
>>>>Good. Thank you for your support.
>>>
>>>It was my plaesure.
>>
>>But you misspel...
>>
>><Larry bites his tongue>
>
>Be careful with your body parts. Somebody might have use of them
>later.

I'm beating you to the punch.

== 3 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:11 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 11:24:58 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>><Larry bites his tongue>
>>
>> Be careful with your body parts. Somebody might have use of them
>> later.
>
>That would be him.

Mos finally admits that I am somebody!

== 4 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:11 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:07:15 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>> That is a trick question!
>>>>
>>>>Try answering while you are naked and standing on a chair.
>>>
>>>Okay.
>>
>>Well, so much for any blood getting to Mos's brain this weekend.
>
>As oppose to when?

Every once in awhile a trickle gets beyond his neck.

== 5 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:12 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 21:28:02 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
<icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>> ....um....I'm learning to tap dance ?
>>>
>>> You certainly managed to tapdance your way around answering that
>>> question.
>>
>> Tallented.
>
>Agreed, Ents are usually quite tall . . . but they're also somewhat slow to
>move .. . I think tap dancing might be out of their capacity

LOL

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Nerds..... + NL
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2e9fe36b44eb44db?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:12 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:07:15 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>You can trust me.
>>>>
>>>>Really? Because the last time I did that I lost my left arm, nose,
>>>>and ear lobes. But if you say I can trust you I'll trust you this
>>>>time.
>>>>
>>>>Why is that hot water boiling?
>>>
>>>Because it is hot.
>>
>>But you said I could trust you?
>
>You can trust me.

But I know better than to trust you.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 14 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:13 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:07:13 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>>>One should always share their cheese, Lizzie.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>This refers to all of you, of course.
>>>>>
>>>>>Yes, you must share your cheese with all of us.
>>>>>
>>>>>I have a feeling the prophesied great cheese massacre at rec.humor is
>>>>>about to begin.
>>>>
>>>> And it is time!
>>>
>>>Sounds overdue
>>
>>I'm holding Elisabeth to her promise of women and children first.
>
>Are there children in rh?

Well, there's Mos. And Greg can act childish once in awhile.

== 2 of 14 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:15 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:07:14 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>> I hope I am invited.
>>>
>>>Missed it. Tonight...pork chops and brussel sprouts.
>>
>>Brussels sprouts? Eww YUCK!
>
>But they are fun!

They're not fun to eat. One could play marbles with them, I suppose.

== 3 of 14 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:15 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 11:48:24 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>> I hope I am invited.
>>>>
>>>>Missed it. Tonight...pork chops and brussel sprouts.
>>>
>>>Brussels sprouts? Eww YUCK!
>>
>> But they are fun!
>
>Bet he doesn't like artichokes, either.

And you would lose that bet. I love artichokes.

== 4 of 14 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:16 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 13:13:46 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
<icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>>>Missed it. Tonight...pork chops and brussel sprouts.
>>>>
>>>>Brussels sprouts? Eww YUCK!
>>>
>>> But they are fun!
>>
>> Bet he doesn't like artichokes, either.
>
>Artichokes taste nothing like brussel sprouts . . . i.e., it is possible to
>like one but not the other

Thank you, Summer. I have some artichokes here now. I can't get
enough of them.

== 5 of 14 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:17 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 21:36:50 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> So, you do understand why Larry
>> goes to Starbucks and McDonalds.
>
>No. That's just pure psychotic insanity.

Thank you, Greg.

== 6 of 14 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:18 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 21:35:05 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
<icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>> It's insulting to lump the psychos in with Larry.
>
>Definition of neurotic: building castles in the air and dreaming about
>living in them.
>
>Definition of psychotic: building castles in the air; then moving in and
>setting up house.
>
>So ya see, the psychos don't really care - they're too busy enjoying their
>castles.

Please close the drawbridge: You're letting in all the serfs.

== 7 of 14 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:18 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 21:47:24 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>> It's insulting to lump the psychos in with Larry.
>> Definition of neurotic: building castles in the air and dreaming about
>> living in them.
>> Definition of psychotic: building castles in the air; then moving in and
>> setting up house.
>> So ya see, the psychos don't really care - they're too busy enjoying their
>> castles.
>
>Then you won't mind if we lump you in with Larry.

I won't mind that at all. Come here, sweet Summer.

== 8 of 14 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:19 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 16:47:16 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>> Bet he doesn't like artichokes, either.
>>>>
>>>> Artichokes taste nothing like brussel sprouts . . . i.e., it is possible
>>>> to like one but not the other
>>>
>>> But, they're both good stuff.
>>
>> Lots of good nutrtional value, maybe . . . but good taste is a matter of
>> opinion
>
>Since I eat what I like, it's *my* opinion of what tastes good that matters.

Not to me!

== 9 of 14 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:20 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 11:47:59 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> I hope I am invited.
>>>
>>>Missed it. Tonight...pork chops and brussel sprouts.
>>
>> Brussels sprouts? Eww YUCK!
>
>Judge not my food and your bad taste in consumables
>shall not be judged, Mr.McDonalds Starbucks.

There's nothing better than a good, cold Filet O Fish Frappuccino.

== 10 of 14 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:21 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 11:49:06 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>> MARINE:
>>>>>>> My Ass Really Is Navy Equiptment
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> MARINE:
>>>>>>> My Ass Really Is Navy Equiptment
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Once more, and it'll be funny...
>>>>>
>>>>>It was posted twice for Larry's benefit.
>>>>>Once now. Once then.
>>>>
>>>> Doesn't count since your now is my then.
>>>
>>>No, your now is my then.
>>
>> Now then, Mos, if we agree, why are we arguing?
>
>No arguement, just trying to get you to understand.

I under stand all!

== 11 of 14 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:21 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 12:15:40 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>>> I can't tell you how little time I spend thinking about
>>> ZZ Top's belly buttons.
>>
>> Sure you can. Try it.
>
>Nope, I can't. It's too little to speak of.

But talk is cheap.

== 12 of 14 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:23 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 10:18:39 +0000, Dougal
<deucharscores@raydale.often> wrote:

>>>>>>>I am glad you bread does not talk.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> If it did, it would probably be a crumby conversationalist.
>>>>>
>>>>>Now is that anyway to talk about the one with the dough ??
>>>>
>>>> Did you really knead to use that pun?
>>>
>>>To counter the flat bread . . . yeah
>>
>> I thought that would get a rise out of you.
>
>I didn't like that remark in the yeast.

How about if it was in the baking soda instead?

== 13 of 14 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:23 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:07:14 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>>> Let's drink together.
>>>>>> I'll drink to that.
>>>>>
>>>>> You have the best ideas!
>>>>
>>>><raises glass in silent toast>
>>>
>>>I am glad you bread does not talk.
>>
>>If it did, it would probably be a crumby conversationalist.
>
>You mean, like Greg?

Exactly like Greg. Have you noticed that Greg always falls jelly side
down?

== 14 of 14 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:24 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 21:40:53 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>>> If it did, it would probably be a crumby conversationalist.
>>
>> You mean, like Greg?
>
><grunt>

Look, Lizzie! Greg actually used a word with more than four letters.
Our little boy is growing up.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Parody Commercials (Adult Content)
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/3a559d29d369e931?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:25 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:07:15 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>>You know that I'm unforgettable.
>>>>>
>>>>>*whine*
>>>>
>>>>Let's just say that I really do know how to whine and dine a lady.
>>>
>>>I am sure you know.
>>
>>More whine, dear?
>
>Of course.

Please, please, please pick up the check!

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:25 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:07:15 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>><Larry says CHEESE>
>>>>>
>>>>>click click klick klick
>>>>
>>>>Are you sharpening a knife?
>>>
>>>Me? No, never.
>>
>>Ok. Are you sharpening your wood chipper?
>
>getting warmer ...

Sharpen slower, dear.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: surrender
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:31 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 11:41:15 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>> I told the truth when I said "I never agree with Mos about nothing".
>>>>>> So there!
>>>>>Your use of a double negative then indicates that you agree with him
>>>>>about
>>>>>everything . . . 'k, interesting concept
>>>> You're taking it out of context, dog gone it!
>>>
>>>Ooo, totally new concept !
>>
>> It is so not new. I do it all the time.
>
>You do not do totally new concepts.

1: KA-ching! Pay that setup fee, kid.
2: Rule #1 and Rule #2
3: Possum Junction
4: Signed, Tripod

That's just a few. I could go on and on. And on and on and on and on
etc.

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