rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* Scottish Dentist - 12 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* 12/12/12 - 2 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
* Stupid Mistake - 2 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
* Sex novels by instant download - 8 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
* MI5 Persecution: tinker tailor wanker thief 2/12/00 (19938) - 1 messages, 1
author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/21ded05a98cb2b3f?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 12 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 12:27 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 14:30:36 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> Who else writes bondage porn for you here besides me?
>
>...That *you* know of, you mean?

Is Peachy cheating on me, bondage porn-wise, Greg? Tell me it ain't
so!

== 2 of 12 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 12:44 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:vdfuj39cvmisujvjalraj8v6ddo9f3i0h8@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 10:45:45 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>Can't reply right now since Summer, Elisabeth, and Peachy
>>>>showed up at my house naked, and they brought beer.
>>>
>>> How long have you had these delusions, Mos?
>>
>>You don't know what goes on at my house.
>
> It's apparent that neither do Summer, Peachy, or Elisabeth.

Keep 'em guessin'.

== 3 of 12 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 12:45 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:9gfuj3hlbnobss79mbfbevd1b58rk5e6pa@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 18:28:07 GMT, peachy ashie passion
> <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>>>>>>>>>I'm fully recovered, thanks.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>Now you and your chair seatcushion match?
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>A stitch in time saves Mos?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>You mean now or then ?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Nine.
>>>>>
>>>>>No speekie Germanic.
>>>>
>>>>You no speekie English either.
>>>
>>> You left out a comma.
>>
>> Or possibly two.
>
> At, times, you, guys, are, impossible, to, please.

You inserted six commas too many.

== 4 of 12 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 12:46 pm
From: "MosNot"

"MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse> wrote in message
news:6aadnSOEA4dzz6LanZ2dnUVZ_qelnZ2d@pcisys.net...
>
> "Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
> news:9gfuj3hlbnobss79mbfbevd1b58rk5e6pa@4ax.com...
>> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 18:28:07 GMT, peachy ashie passion
>> <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fully recovered, thanks.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Now you and your chair seatcushion match?
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>A stitch in time saves Mos?
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>You mean now or then ?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Nine.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>No speekie Germanic.
>>>>>
>>>>>You no speekie English either.
>>>>
>>>> You left out a comma.
>>>
>>> Or possibly two.
>>
>> At, times, you, guys, are, impossible, to, please.
>
> You inserted six commas too many.

Or maybe you didn't since you may very well
have to pause between words when you talk.

== 5 of 12 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 12:47 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:5q8tqtFudv2aU1@mid.individual.net...
> Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>
>> Who else writes bondage porn for you here besides me?
>
> ...That *you* know of, you mean?

He did say *here*....

== 6 of 12 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 12:49 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:pifuj39rjdi9fer2143ulf4ca31g5kt09r@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 09:57:29 -0500, "Greg Evans"
> <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>
>>>>>> Anytime anyone puts in a little bit of
>>>>>> effort, it counts in my book!
>>>>> Larry must really be in your book
>>>>> since he puts in very little effort.
>>>> And no comment at that one either.
>>>
>>> Thank you, dear. I owe you one.
>>
>>Reckon you'll ever make an effort to pay her back?
>
> My answer that question will be multiple choice.
>
> a: I'll make every effort to payback Peachy - the sweetest, most
> wonderful, sexiest woman on the face of the earth - someday.
>
> b: Hey! I'll have you know I already pay her all the time.
>
> c: None of the above
>
> d: Both of the above

Go with d, which would make it:

b: Hey! I'll have you know I already pay her all the time.
c: None of the above

== 7 of 12 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 12:52 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:65guj3hti3vk4rujdu4inmlfnvjhtii9nk@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 10:47:52 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>> At the risk of repeating myself I shall reiterate "Good luck with
>>>>>>> that".
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Risk of repeating yourself ?! HAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa
>>>>>>
>>>>>>BTW: you left two commas out of your statement.
>>>>>
>>>>> I've been commatose for the last month or so.
>>>>
>>>>It's a blog thing.
>>>
>>> I, think, you're, right, kid.
>>
>>Using them all now don't make up for ones not used.
>
> Think of them as back pay.

So it really doesn't, matter where they're,
stuck in as long as, they're used ?

== 8 of 12 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 12:56 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 16:11:15 GMT, peachy ashie passion
> <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>>>>>>> Anytime anyone puts in a little bit of
>>>>>>>effort, it counts in my book!
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Larry must really be in your book
>>>>>>since he puts in very little effort.
>>>>>
>>>>> And no comment at that one either.
>>>>
>>>>Thank you, dear. I owe you one.
>>>
>>>Reckon you'll ever make an effort to pay her back?
>>>
>>
>> About his usual level of effort, I expect.
>
>
> Peachy! I am so surprised by that. Who else writes bondage porn for
> you here besides me?

No comment.

== 9 of 12 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 2:32 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 13:45:36 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>>>>>I'm fully recovered, thanks.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Now you and your chair seatcushion match?
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>A stitch in time saves Mos?
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>You mean now or then ?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Nine.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>No speekie Germanic.
>>>>>
>>>>>You no speekie English either.
>>>>
>>>> You left out a comma.
>>>
>>> Or possibly two.
>>
>> At, times, you, guys, are, impossible, to, please.
>
>You inserted six commas too many.

R,e,a,l,l,y?

== 10 of 12 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 2:33 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 13:46:39 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>> You left out a comma.
>>>>
>>>> Or possibly two.
>>>
>>> At, times, you, guys, are, impossible, to, please.
>>
>> You inserted six commas too many.
>
>Or maybe you didn't since you may very well
>have to pause between words when you talk.

I.......most......certainly......do.......not!

== 11 of 12 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 2:34 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 13:47:38 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>> Who else writes bondage porn for you here besides me?
>>
>> ...That *you* know of, you mean?
>
>He did say *here*....

Thank you, Mos. You just paid for one setup fee. Another 12,891,765
more and we're even.

== 12 of 12 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 2:38 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 20:56:25 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>>>>>> Anytime anyone puts in a little bit of
>>>>>>>>effort, it counts in my book!
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Larry must really be in your book
>>>>>>>since he puts in very little effort.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> And no comment at that one either.
>>>>>
>>>>>Thank you, dear. I owe you one.
>>>>
>>>>Reckon you'll ever make an effort to pay her back?
>>>
>>> About his usual level of effort, I expect.
>>
>> Peachy! I am so surprised by that. Who else writes bondage porn for
>> you here besides me?
>
> No comment

"No comment", Peachy thought. She would have said it out loud but for
the ball gag that had been loving placed in her mouth. Her back
arched in pain caused by the hot candle wax being dripped onto her...

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 12/12/12
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 12:42 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:36fuj395tabg7leja9o0d11fceru8fq3jq@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 09:53:43 -0500, "Greg Evans"
> <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>
>>> And all this time I thought he was a big believer in
>>> exercising the 2nd Amendment!
>>
>>Right now I'm busy being thankful for the 22nd Amendment.
>
> Given the makeup of today's Supreme Court, don't be surprised if they
> decide that amendment is unconstitutional right around election day
> next year.

Hope they do so you won't need
somebody new to bitch about.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 2:31 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 13:42:02 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> And all this time I thought he was a big believer in
>>>> exercising the 2nd Amendment!
>>>
>>>Right now I'm busy being thankful for the 22nd Amendment.
>>
>> Given the makeup of today's Supreme Court, don't be surprised if they
>> decide that amendment is unconstitutional right around election day
>> next year.
>
>Hope they do so you won't need
>somebody new to bitch about.

What? I'd rather be roasted alive on a spit than have that happen.
You're the one who thinks he's a "nice guy".

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Stupid Mistake
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 12:43 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:2cfuj3pebahpnvu3bfv5rh7k0ic5o89jq8@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 10:52:37 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>> We pretty much have to teach this kid everything, don't we, Greg?
>>
>>Hence my spelling is like it is.
>
> In some areas, you are just un-teachable.

PKB.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 2:32 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 13:43:39 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> We pretty much have to teach this kid everything, don't we, Greg?
>>>
>>>Hence my spelling is like it is.
>>
>> In some areas, you are just un-teachable.
>
>PKB.

I am already fully edumacated!

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Sex novels by instant download
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 8 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 12:53 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:95euj3hqnphfrauau6gk7rns2v3pantllc@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 10:48:36 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>> I have a severe issue whenever someone uses that whole "she was
>>>>>> his for the taking" BS. Oh my god. No.
>>>>>
>>>>> Then I recommend you don't read those stories.
>>>>
>>>>Perhaps that's why she rents the DVDs.
>>>
>>> I wonder if they arrive in the mail wrapped in plain brown paper?
>>
>>......the things that plague your thoughts....
>
> No, her DVDs.

OK. Her DVDs that plague your thoughts.

== 2 of 8 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 12:54 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:gmeuj35l4tr31ub8a3t88pvhrlqnkp2huu@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 11:43:07 -0500, "Greg Evans"
> <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>
>>>> Only Larry could take a child's innocent amusement ride
>>>> and turn it into a disturbing euphemism.
>>>
>>> Aww, don't sell yourself short Greg - you coulda done it
>>> too, if you'd tried.
>>
>>Um...thanks?
>
> Don't make me give you yet another motivational lesson, young man!

Jeez, as if he's not lazy enough.

== 3 of 8 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 12:54 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:8leuj35ll1f1mkfnjnkdrsnacq5gn68kh7@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 09:59:27 -0500, "Greg Evans"
> <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>
>>Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>>
>>> I took her to Disneyland so I could take her on Mr. Toads'
>>> Wild Ride.
>>
>>Only Larry could take a child's innocent amusement ride and turn it into a
>>disturbing euphemism.
>
> Euphemism? What euphemism?

"I took her"

== 4 of 8 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 12:58 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:vousj3th7p975rm25mcppn3frehthabu71@4ax.com...
> On Fri, 16 Nov 2007 11:52:28 -0800 (PST), Miss Linda
> <lemacintyre@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>>I have a severe issue whenever someone uses that whole "she was his
>>for the taking" BS. Oh my god. No.
>
> You do realize that story was humor, right? Please don't tell us that
> you're taking things seriously here.

It's true, Miss Linda. If it was something that should
be taken seriously, he would have typed:
"As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help
but notice Larry's wilted, limp, mostly useless manhood."

== 5 of 8 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 2:26 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 13:53:37 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>> I have a severe issue whenever someone uses that whole "she was
>>>>>>> his for the taking" BS. Oh my god. No.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Then I recommend you don't read those stories.
>>>>>
>>>>>Perhaps that's why she rents the DVDs.
>>>>
>>>> I wonder if they arrive in the mail wrapped in plain brown paper?
>>>
>>>......the things that plague your thoughts....
>>
>> No, her DVDs.
>
>OK. Her DVDs that plague your thoughts.

No. They probably arrive in a plain brown paper wrapper. SHEESH!
Some folks obviously have absolutely no reading comprehension skills
at all.

== 6 of 8 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 2:28 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 13:54:10 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>> Only Larry could take a child's innocent amusement ride
>>>>> and turn it into a disturbing euphemism.
>>>>
>>>> Aww, don't sell yourself short Greg - you coulda done it
>>>> too, if you'd tried.
>>>
>>>Um...thanks?
>>
>> Don't make me give you yet another motivational lesson, young man!
>
>Jeez, as if he's not lazy enough.

Which explains why he needs another lesson.

Hand me those electrified nipple clamps, will ya, kid.

This might sting a little, Greg. Ready?

BZZZZZZZZT!

== 7 of 8 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 2:29 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 13:54:42 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> I took her to Disneyland so I could take her on Mr. Toads'
>>>> Wild Ride.
>>>
>>>Only Larry could take a child's innocent amusement ride and turn it into a
>>>disturbing euphemism.
>>
>> Euphemism? What euphemism?
>
>"I took her"

And you phemismed her?

== 8 of 8 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 2:30 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 13:58:40 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>I have a severe issue whenever someone uses that whole "she was his
>>>for the taking" BS. Oh my god. No.
>>
>> You do realize that story was humor, right? Please don't tell us that
>> you're taking things seriously here.
>
>It's true, Miss Linda. If it was something that should
>be taken seriously, he would have typed:
>"As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help
>but notice Larry's wilted, limp, mostly useless manhood."

Really? Because I don't think I would have typed that.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: MI5 Persecution: tinker tailor wanker thief 2/12/00 (19938)
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/21ded05a98cb2b3f?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 9:51 am
From: MI5Victim@mi5.gov.uk

Crescent Grove, Clapham Common (2/Dec/2000)

Certainty level: 100%

This is one of those clips where I am absolutely, 100% certain it's
inflicted by MI5 on me, because of background, context. On Saturday
2 December 2000, I was walking from my home to a pub on Clapham Common,
and on the way was in proximity to a group of three English youths
who were walking the other way. They turned from the main road into a
private estate called Crescent Grove. Here is what they said;

(first youth) "He masturbates!"
(his mate responds) "Yeah, he masturbates!"
(and again) "Thief!"

There is a lot of context associated with this incident, which I will now
relate.

Firstly, the verbal sexual abuse is a popular one with MI5, and as a statement
about me is currently mostly in their imaginations. The accusation has to be seen
relative to MI5's persecutory actions in late November and early December 2000,
and in fact for some months leading up to this. Their relevant activities in
June 2000 are documented in a message in this evidence item;
following from that, they sent someone to simulate an act in front of my window,
which was captured on film.

It is the publication of the video of their agent performing the act on himself
which caused MI5 to restart this thread of harassment in the first few days of
December 2000. But there are some subtleties; I uploaded the digitised video
to this website on 26/November/2000; but I did not announce its existence on the
newsgroups until Sunday 3/December/2000. These youths' slur was made the previous
day, on Saturday 2/Dec. That tells us quite a lot. According to my website logs,
there were no accesses to the video file before Sunday 3/Dec. So why did MI5 restart
this particular thread of abuse, before their agent's activities were
published on the newsgroup? The conclusion we reach is that they were watching my
internet connection, either decoding the telephone line, or at the ISP; and/or they
may be able to physically see what is on my notebook computer's screen, from
RF transmissions from its VGA circuitry. I do not know whether the latter is
technically feasible, but the former certainly is, and I have known for years
that MI5 bugs my internet activities and phone calls. It is from their observation
of my internet connection that they were able to tell, without accessing the
video file over the net, that it was of their agent in a compromising position;
and it was from that observation that their shouted slur on 2/Dec emanates.

The second accusation, "Thief!", is even more interesting. It relates to occurrences
from June of 2000, some six months before these youths threw the word at me. It shows
just how wide in reach geographically and temporally the MI5 persecution is;
they react to something which happened half a year previously.

In the first half of 2000, MI5 made a determined assault on my friendships. In one
particular case, that of A. whom I had known for virtually all my life, they partly
succeeded. This person made pointed references to me which made it clear he knew
what was happening; at one point he started asking "do you know anything about the
FBI and the CIA". In June 2000, we went to see a film in the West End. I paid for
both of us, and then asked him to return what I had paid for his ticket, some £7.50.
He was reluctant to do so. Eventually he returned £5, settling for the lesser gain of £2.50.

I did not call him a thief to his face, but I may have spoken the word while I was
at home, either conscious or in my sleep. MI5 have very tight control over everything
I do and say in my home through their bugs; if I say anything against someone in
"their" camp, they turn round the accusation against me. So, from the fact that A.
tried to garner a few pounds at my expense, MI5 create the accusation, six months
later..... "thief!".

19938

--
Posted via NewsDemon.com - Premium Uncensored Newsgroup Service
------->>>>>>http://www.NewsDemon.com<<<<<<------
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