rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* Stupid Mistake - 7 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
* lost opportunity regained? - 5 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4300ee33cbd5c8?hl=en
* 12/12/12 - 2 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
* Scottish Dentist - 8 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* Sex novels by instant download - 3 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Stupid Mistake
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:38 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:5q1othFpp80nU1@mid.individual.net...
> Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>
>> And without Greg there we can actually invite some
>> women!!!
>
> I can understand you not wanting me around; the competition for the
> ladies' attention would have been more than you could handle.

Well, he's still got that string bikini woman he posted the link for.

== 2 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:40 pm
From: "MosNot"

"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:arN_i.4803$RR1.340@trnddc02...
> MosNot wrote:
>> "peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
>>>>>On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:08:34 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
>>>>>>>>>>>>Speaking of which.....how's your luck
>>>>>>>>>>>>with Summer, Elisabeth, or Peachy ?
>>>>>>>>>>>Well, they all are still talking to me.
>>>>>>>>>>That would be noisy.
>>>>>>>>>I never said I was actually listening to them.
>>>>>>>>It would still be noisy.
>>>>>>>Yeah, but I tune it out most of the time.
>>>>>>Shows you have a closed mind.
>>>>>No, it doesn't. It shows that I have my ears stuffed with cotton.
>>>>You can't hear women bitch with beans in your ears.
>>> You wouldn't hear them bitch at all iffn ya didn't date bitches.
>> As if there's any other kind.
> Oh really?

Ever known a woman that never bitched ?

== 3 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:40 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:li8nj3929h7e04799ojernqhtthha7mncp@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:09:15 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>Speaking of which.....how's your luck
>>>>>>>>>>with Summer, Elisabeth, or Peachy ?
>>>>>>>>> Well, they all are still talking to me.
>>>>>>>>That would be noisy.
>>>>>>> I never said I was actually listening to them.
>>>>>>It would still be noisy.
>>>>> Yeah, but I tune it out most of the time.
>>>>Shows you have a closed mind.
>>>
>>> No, it doesn't. It shows that I have my ears stuffed with cotton.
>>
>>You can't hear women bitch with beans in your ears.
>
> Cotton is not spelled beans.

So, you didn't notice who typed the words ?

== 4 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:49 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:10:15 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>> Get a keg, dude! PARTY!
>>>>> Sheesh, what about Hamms ?
>>>>
>>>> And buy some ham for the party, dude!
>>>
>>>http://ehams.com/default.htm
>>>
>>>Sammiches for all!
>>
>> Then you'd better bring an assortment of bread and condiments, Greg.
>> And don't forget the cheese!
>
>Cheese for everybody !

<Elisabeth books a plane ticket>

== 5 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:49 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:09:40 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>> Yeah, the rest of us drink Schlitz.
>>>>>
>>>>>"Hey ... PABST BLUE RIBBON!!"
>>>>
>>>> Get a keg, dude! PARTY!
>>>
>>>Sheesh, what about Hamms ?
>>
>> And buy some ham for the party, dude!
>
>Pork rinds and moon pies for all !

I'll trade you my Moon Pie for your pork rinds.

== 6 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:53 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:0dgnj3d86jh20ocamhdni0gkfggtvi03po@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:10:15 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>> Get a keg, dude! PARTY!
>>>>>> Sheesh, what about Hamms ?
>>>>>
>>>>> And buy some ham for the party, dude!
>>>>
>>>>http://ehams.com/default.htm
>>>>
>>>>Sammiches for all!
>>>
>>> Then you'd better bring an assortment of bread and condiments, Greg.
>>> And don't forget the cheese!
>>
>>Cheese for everybody !
>
> <Elisabeth books a plane ticket>

Extra cheese for Elisabeth !

== 7 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:57 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:sdgnj390pfut3mi16dnbp6aargap3hm7hj@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:09:40 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>> Yeah, the rest of us drink Schlitz.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>"Hey ... PABST BLUE RIBBON!!"
>>>>>
>>>>> Get a keg, dude! PARTY!
>>>>
>>>>Sheesh, what about Hamms ?
>>>
>>> And buy some ham for the party, dude!
>>
>>Pork rinds and moon pies for all !
>
> I'll trade you my Moon Pie for your pork rinds.

No you won't.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: lost opportunity regained?
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4300ee33cbd5c8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:42 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:vo7nj35n3fl29m1724g3dj1js5mqofiqr3@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:11:55 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>Greg owns cruise boats with Boston Shipping ?
>
> Close. He's the cruise director for the all possum cruises.

All possum cruises ?
No racoons ?
Racists !

== 2 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:44 pm
From: "MosNot"

"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:5tN_i.4808$RR1.3967@trnddc02...
> Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>
>> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:36:54 GMT, peachy ashie passion
>> <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>Would you let me put bubbles in?
>>>>It probably depends on how they're generated.
>>> *giggles*
>>> knew SOMEone had to say it, but I really thought it'd come from Larry.
>> You think that I fart in the tub? What have I ever done to deserve
>> this treatment?
>
> I think you can't resist a good gross out joke.

Let's not go there.

== 3 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:43 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message

> You think that I fart in the tub? What have I ever done to deserve
> this treatment?

Eat those beans you took out of your ears to put the cotton in.

== 4 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:45 pm
From: "MosNot"

"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:osN_i.4806$RR1.3932@trnddc02...
> MosNot wrote:
>> "peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>>>>>Greg Evans wrote:
>>>>>>Well, cleanliness IS next to godliness...
>>>>>>> Sounds like I'm not the only one fond of a hot bath.
>>>>>>I got a whirlpool tub....with an in-line heater.....
>>>>>>(only bath I've ever been in that the water's hotter at the end
>>>>>>of the bath than the beginning. Not counting natrual springs)
>>>>> *purrrrrr*
>>>>>Would you let me put bubbles in?
>>>>I dunno....she as cute as you ?
>>> *raised eyebrow*
>>> Honey, I'm not thinking you could handle two of me.
>> Feh. More like two of you couldn't handle me.
> That may well be true.
> Heaven knows you are more than *I* know what to do with.
^
Misspelt: care

== 5 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:59 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

MosNot wrote:
> "peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:osN_i.4806$RR1.3932@trnddc02...
>
>>MosNot wrote:
>>
>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>
>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>>>
>>>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Greg Evans wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Well, cleanliness IS next to godliness...
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Sounds like I'm not the only one fond of a hot bath.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>I got a whirlpool tub....with an in-line heater.....
>>>>>>>(only bath I've ever been in that the water's hotter at the end
>>>>>>>of the bath than the beginning. Not counting natrual springs)
>>>>>>
>>>>>> *purrrrrr*
>>>>>>Would you let me put bubbles in?
>>>>>
>>>>>I dunno....she as cute as you ?
>>>>
>>>> *raised eyebrow*
>>>> Honey, I'm not thinking you could handle two of me.
>>>
>>>Feh. More like two of you couldn't handle me.
>>
>> That may well be true.
>> Heaven knows you are more than *I* know what to do with.
>
> ^
> Misspelt: care
>
>
>

No, no I didn't.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 12/12/12
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:46 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:te8nj39d9td1avifpjh6kj3ovrjlq90k4f@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 12:41:24 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
> wrote:
>
>>> Would you believe me if I offered to pay my setup fees in full?
>>
>><spit-take>
>>
>>Can't reply...guffawing....
>
> You had your chance and blew it, dude. I'm never paying them now.

I'm still trying to figure out what a guffa's wing looks like.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:47 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:5g8nj3526oog3b5jp6asl5o9pmmekqmr6a@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:15:45 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>> Now I'll never get it out of my head today!
>>>>>> Arrgh!!
>>>>> I may be able to help you with that, Greg.
>>>>Sorry, I stopped reading at this point - I know better than to think
>>>>you would volunteer to help me.
>>> Would you believe me if I offered to pay my setup fees in full?
>>Feh. As if you'll ever make that much.
>
> I could too earn $1.19!

So pay yourself and leave me and Greg alone about it.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:49 pm
From: "MosNot"

"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:7qN_i.4802$RR1.3183@trnddc02...
> MosNot wrote:
>
>> "peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>>>>>"Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com> wrote in message
>>>>>>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>How is anybody sure about anything ?
>>>>>>>>>Ask someone like Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh how they manage it.
>>>>>>>>Oh, so now you're gonna start telling me what to do.
>>>>>>> What do you mean START?
>>>>>>Usually he makes a rude comment, not an order.
>>>>> Oh. Maybe he just orders me around.
>>>>But you like it.
>>> Shhhhhhh!!!
>> Now, don't you start telling me what to do !
>> (unless it's something nastyfun)
> After you called me a bitch in another thread? Why'd I wanna tell
> YOU something nastyfun?

I never called you a bitch.
Oh, but if you want to consider yourself one of the common women
and not The Exqusite Peach, it's totally your choice.

== 2 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:50 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:19:11 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>> You needn't brag about knowning Larry.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Greg doesn't really known me at all, kid.
>>>>>
>>>>>Not so you'd knowntice, anyway.
>>>>
>>>> I knewn you were going to say that.
>>>
>>>Ahem. It's "I knewn you was gonna said that."
>>
>> Oops, my bad. You'll have to excuse my foray into the unknow.
>
>Negatorynessification on that. One must always be awaredness.

And apparently the unknow is Mos-Speak.

== 3 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:51 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:20:09 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>> Perhaps one day you'll buy a spell checker that actually
>>>>> works.
>>>>
>>>> That would cuticate out about half yer commentcations.
>>>
>>>I'm not seeing the downside here.
>>
>> Me neither. Commenting on Mos's spelling is more fun that a barrel of
>> monkeys.
>
>Those monkeys gotta be doing something
>when they're not typing your replies.

They usually groom each other and eat bananas in their spare time.

== 4 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:52 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:2fgnj3dr3sf0blmuqp7pap3g3rmh2j9gjl@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:19:11 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>>> You needn't brag about knowning Larry.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Greg doesn't really known me at all, kid.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Not so you'd knowntice, anyway.
>>>>>
>>>>> I knewn you were going to say that.
>>>>
>>>>Ahem. It's "I knewn you was gonna said that."
>>>
>>> Oops, my bad. You'll have to excuse my foray into the unknow.
>>
>>Negatorynessification on that. One must always be awaredness.
>
> And apparently the unknow is Mos-Speak.

The blog you say.

== 5 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:53 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:21:49 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> I knew she was in a few. One of my wife's favorite movies is
>>>> "Roxanne" and Shelly Duvall has a role in it. My wife must have
>>>> watched it 100 times over the years. We own the DVD.
>>>
>>>Well, one of my favourite movies is "Alien" and she's not in it.
>>>And I own the DVD.
>>>Come to think of it, she's not in almost all the DVDs I own.
>>
>> She isn't in any of my faviourite movies at all. In fact, I'm not
>> sure I even have a faviourite movie.
>
>As long as you're sure of that.
>At least I know I don't have a favourite movie.

Perhaps it's time to adjiourn this conversation.

== 6 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:55 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 13:10:30 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>> Ask him if he wants fries with that, Greg.
>
>No. But I'll ask *you* (a) when you got promoted to manager of your
>local McDonald's, and (b) why you think I work there.

I wont answer (a), but the answer to (b) is my counter guy is bald,
drunk, and toothless.

== 7 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:55 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:23:04 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>> Usually he makes a rude comment, not an order.
>>>>>
>>>>>I gotcher "order" right here!
>>>>
>>>> Ask him if he wants fries with that.
>>>
>>>I already ordered Prime rib~medium rare,
>>>baked potato, brussel sprouts, and a Guinness.
>>
>> Ask him if he wants fries with that, Greg.
>
>Everything Larry needed to know,
>he learned while working at McDonalds.

I have never been an employee at Mickey D's.

== 8 of 8 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:56 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:26:21 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>> Then you're finally grasping the basic tenet of Rule #1. Took you
>> long enough!
>
>Nope, still working on convincing you we don't believe you.

Then you haven't read Rule #1 at all.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Sex novels by instant download
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:52 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:5q1pmuFtj4bsU1@mid.individual.net...
> MosNot wrote:
>
>>> Cute, but where's the plot?
>>
>> Local cemetery, so you can put Larry's story in it.
>
> You can add MosNot's last vestiges of dignity, that will expire when he
> discovers I already made that joke.

I was already logged in and didn't see your remark.
And it matters not if yours was a few minutes sooner
since we had thoughts so akin to each other.

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 6:53 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:5q1pigFtjtclU1@mid.individual.net...
> MosNot wrote:
>
>>> He gently placed a ball gag in her mouth and
>>> fastened it behind her head. All he had to do now what
>>> determine what an appropriate punishment would be for
>>> her infractions. He decided to...
>>
>> Feh. Sounds like an ordinary date for me.
>
> Take that ball gag out of your mouth and try again; we couldn't understand
> you the first time.

Feh. Like you usually do, anyway.

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:58 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 01:37:12 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>> As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help but notice his
>> large, throbbing manhood. She had worked up a sweat trying to escape
>> and lay exhausted, her naked body glistening in the moonlight. He had
>> not failed to take notice of her exquisite form lying there. She was
>> his for the taking. He gently placed a ball gag in her mouth and
>> fastened it behind her head. All he had to do now what determine what
>> an appropriate punishment would be for her infractions. He decided
>> to...
>
> Cute, but where's the plot?

In the next installment. Want a hint, little girl?

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