rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* Scottish Dentist - 10 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* Sex novels by instant download - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
* surrender - 9 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
* Chinese food - 5 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 6:59 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:23:25 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
<icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>No, we're discussing MosNot . . . you really need to learn to make that
>>>distinction
>>
>> A rose by any other name would still have thorns.
>
>Nice to know you think he's a rose . . . btw, bougainvillea is thornier -
>and I don't think it can qualify as a rose of any name

I really must stop posting metaphors here.

== 2 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:00 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 12:56:19 -0800, "ynotssor" <ynotssor@example.org>
wrote:

>> Well, ethanol is a chemical, innit?
>
>Ethanol is actually one of the fundamental elements necessary for human life
>as we know it. Some fairly crude distilled versions of it can be found in
>Possum Junction, but that doesn't really qualify as human life there.

That's what I've been trying to tell you guys all along!

== 3 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:01 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:27:27 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> I shall be careful never to drop your ego on purpose.
>
>Incidentally, "The Ego Drops" is the name of my new band.

That explains why each of their instruments is tuned differently, at
least.

== 4 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:02 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:30:07 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>>> Some people are the drippers and some are
>>> the drippees.
>>
>> There a setup fee if we refer to you as the
>> drippeest ?
> ^^^^^^^^^^^
>There's probably a setup fee if we refer to your spelling...

Which is exactly why I didn't reply to him.

== 5 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:03 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:00:54 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>> "No comment", Peachy thought. She would have said it out loud but for
>>>>>> the ball gag that had been loving placed in her mouth. Her back
>>>>>> arched in pain caused by the hot candle wax being dripped onto her...
>>>>>
>>>>> You know, it's actually not that painful. It's a lot like warm
>>>>>water. Very soothing.
>>>>
>>>> God, I love true confessions!
>>>
>>>From everybody....?
>>
>> No. From sexy women only.
>
>Since you didn't specify the sexy women in r.h. only:
>Looks like you'll be busy a long time since no matter
>what women look like and what they weight, most of
>them think they are sexy when they're horny.

Never gonna happen.

== 6 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:04 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:34:12 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> Since you didn't specify the sexy women in r.h. only:
>> Looks like you'll be busy a long time since no matter
>> what women look like and what they weight, most of
>> them think they are sexy when they're horny.
>
>http://tinyurl.com/ynq5om

That happens all the time. Women: You can't live without them and
it's illegal to shoot them so wadda ya gonna do?

== 7 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:05 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:01:36 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>wow - easy play . . . where's the bondage stuff?
>>>>
>>>> That was in an earlier post. Where were you, missy?
>>>
>>>Working . . . flirting outrageously . . . working . . . titillating
>>>coworkers at the holiday party . . . working . . . finding cute guys to
>>>torment . . . working . . . slept for a bit . . . did I mention I was
>>>working?
>>
>> Yes, but exactly what is your job description?
>
>Putting up with lots of crap.

Summer's a plumber!?

== 8 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:06 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:02:13 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>> I hope I am invited.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Missed it. Tonight...pork chops and brussel sprouts.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Brussels sprouts? Eww YUCK!
>>>>>
>>>>> But they are fun!
>>>>
>>>>Bet he doesn't like artichokes, either.
>>>
>>>He doesn't know what is good.
>>
>> He does too!
>
>Rule #1 makes it so you don't.

But what if Rule #1 was a lie?

== 9 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:14 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:gh77k350lqsspk05akp84mk41gdk9lapgh@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:50:27 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>>How can you be so certain? The man can be very forthcoming
>>>>>>>in his emails, etc.
>>>>>> That man? Please remember that we are discussing Mos here.
>>>>> No, we're discussing MosNot . . . you really need to learn to make
>>>>> that
>>>>> distinction
>>>>He still hasn't figured out, even though
>>>>it's been mentioned a number of times,
>>>>Mos and I are not the same person.
>>> I don't believe you.
>>Since we can't believe anything you say,
>>you then do believe I'm not Mos.
>
> Then I don't believe me.

Can't say I blame you.

== 10 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:15 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:5qhkq8F100uedU1@mid.individual.net...
> SummersFrenzy wrote:
>
>> I'm not the one eatin' at fast food joints of any nature . . .
>
> Fast food joints rarely have much to do with nature.

I dunno about that since there's often large herds in there.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Sex novels by instant download
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:00 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

>> My name is Gladly, the Cross-Eyed Bear.
>
> Do you mean the bald, cross-eyed bear? Now that I
> would believe.

Would you believe, cross-eyed and bare?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: surrender
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 9 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:06 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:57:04 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>I absolutely, positively agree with Elisabeth about everything.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Good.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Larry
>>>>>>>Consider that statement an act of self-preservation.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>I need to test my new knife set on somebody else.
>>>>>
>>>>>I volunteer Mos.
>>>>
>>>> So this is how volunteering is done in California.
>>>
>>>Everything is easier when somebody else does it.
>>
>> Greg volunteers Mos too.
>
>You left out a comma.

Pbbbbbbbbt! ;-P

== 2 of 9 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:07 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:36:16 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>>>>> I volunteer Mos.
>>>> So this is how volunteering is done in California.
>>> Everything is easier when somebody else does it.
>>
>> Greg volunteers Mos too.
>
>Stop volunteering me to volunteer Mos.

Return my Yugo and I'll consider it.

== 3 of 9 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:07 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 12:54:00 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>>> Stop volunteering me to volunteer Mos.
>>
>> But it's part of his "work smarter, not harder" plan.
>
>I've got a similar plan; mine involves not cooperating with Larry.

Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen!

== 4 of 9 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:08 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:57:30 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>> Honest John(son)?
>>>>> <hands Greg a mirror> you tell me
>>>>
>>>> I don't even know how a Johnson COULD lie.
>>>
>>>Johnsons don't lie - they're proud, standup characters!
>>
>> You are stealing my lines, Evans!
>
>Can't write on unruled paper, huh.

Nope. And my handwriting is terrible enough to begin with.

== 5 of 9 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:12 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:47:19 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> You are stealing my lines, Evans!
>
>Suffer, beyotch.

You'll live to rue this day! I'll think of some way to get you back.
After all... tomorrow is another day. Bwahahahahahahahaha!

Sorry, had to do it. My Bwahaha was expiring tomorrow.

== 6 of 9 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:12 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:5qhl2oFvt5mfU1@mid.individual.net...
> MosNot wrote:
>
>>>>> I thought it was "Second star to the right, and straight
>>>>> on 'til morning"?
>>>> You will never, never find the secret entry that way.
>>> You've Hooked me with your description.
>>
>> The fun of this conversation is petering out.
>
> It's just wendyng its way through the usual plot twists and turns.

Some people might get lost, boys.

== 7 of 9 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:13 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:3687k3tqp9h6mi5pc9pjmpn5k9djvd3ifc@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:36:16 -0500, "Greg Evans"
> <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:
>
>>>>>> I volunteer Mos.
>>>>> So this is how volunteering is done in California.
>>>> Everything is easier when somebody else does it.
>>>
>>> Greg volunteers Mos too.
>>
>>Stop volunteering me to volunteer Mos.
>
> Return my Yugo and I'll consider it.

Yeah, he needs a ride befitting his journeys to McDonalds.

== 8 of 9 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:13 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 22:36:26 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>Starboard, now is that right or left? I always forget.

The words port and left both have four letters and that's an easy way
to remember the difference between port and starboard.

== 9 of 9 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:14 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:g887k3t6gffkaimk9egn4npj3dm3vns3cc@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:57:30 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>> Honest John(son)?
>>>>>> <hands Greg a mirror> you tell me
>>>>>
>>>>> I don't even know how a Johnson COULD lie.
>>>>
>>>>Johnsons don't lie - they're proud, standup characters!
>>>
>>> You are stealing my lines, Evans!
>>
>>Can't write on unruled paper, huh.
>
> Nope. And my handwriting is terrible enough to begin with.

And surely to end with.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Chinese food
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 5 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:14 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 22:36:28 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>This is boring. Do something more funny.
>>>>
>>>>Cool. I always did enjoy telling jokes when I ride bareback.
>>>
>>> With cool you mean the weather situation when riding bare?
>>
>>He meant that him being naked is something to joke about.
>
>I didn't know he was aware of that.

I do have mirrors, you know.

== 2 of 5 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:15 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 22:36:28 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>Only in south California.

Come for the sunshine. Stay for the lifestyle.

== 3 of 5 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:15 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:03:34 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>This is boring. Do something more funny.
>>>>
>>>>Cool. I always did enjoy telling jokes when I ride bareback.
>>>
>>>With cool you mean the weather situation when riding bare?
>>
>> Not exactly. Body heat and strenuous exercise usually keeps me warm.
>
>He means his fat body puts out a lot of heat when he types.

So what if I have warm fingers?

== 4 of 5 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:16 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:44:57 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>>>> Cool. I always did enjoy telling jokes when I ride bareback.
>>> With cool you mean the weather situation when riding bare?
>>
>> Not exactly. Body heat and strenuous exercise usually keeps
>> me warm.
>
>"Strenuous exercise", for Larry, means having to get up off the couch to get
>another beer from the fridge.

I hate doing that! That was the primary reason I got married.

== 5 of 5 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 7:16 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 12:53:17 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>>> "Strenuous exercise", for Larry, means having to get up off the
>>> couch to get another beer from the fridge.
>>
>> Sure it's not having to lift a filet o fish sammich to his mouth ?
>
>Shoot, that requires a major expedition - he has to actually *walk out
>of his house* to get to his car, then drive it to McDonalds to get the
>food!

It ain't easy getting those keys in the ignition.

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