rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* Stupid Mistake - 11 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
* Scottish Dentist - 6 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* lost opportunity regained? - 4 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4300ee33cbd5c8?hl=en
* 12/12/12 - 4 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Stupid Mistake
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:47 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:08:34 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>Speaking of which.....how's your luck
>>>>>>>with Summer, Elisabeth, or Peachy ?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Well, they all are still talking to me.
>>>>>
>>>>>That would be noisy.
>>>>
>>>> I never said I was actually listening to them.
>>>
>>>It would still be noisy.
>>
>> Yeah, but I tune it out most of the time.
>
>Shows you have a closed mind.

No, it doesn't. It shows that I have my ears stuffed with cotton.

>> I normally only listen to
>> them when they start hitting me or call me for dinner.
>
>Only ? Those are musts.

Well, there is one more thing. Wanna know what it is?

== 2 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:47 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:07:17 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> Yeah, the rest of us drink Schlitz.
>>>
>>>"Hey ... PABST BLUE RIBBON!!"
>>
>> Get a keg, dude! PARTY!
>
>Sheesh, what about Hamms ?

And buy some ham for the party, dude!

== 3 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:52 am
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

>> Shows you have a closed mind.
>
> No, it doesn't. It shows that I have my ears stuffed with cotton.

...extracted directly from the inside of his skull.

== 4 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:52 am
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

>>> Get a keg, dude! PARTY!
>> Sheesh, what about Hamms ?
>
> And buy some ham for the party, dude!

http://ehams.com/default.htm

Sammiches for all!

== 5 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 9:27 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:52:27 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>>> Shows you have a closed mind.
>>
>> No, it doesn't. It shows that I have my ears stuffed with cotton.
>
>...extracted directly from the inside of his skull.

Not ALL of it, Greg!

== 6 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 9:29 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:52:57 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>>>> Get a keg, dude! PARTY!
>>> Sheesh, what about Hamms ?
>>
>> And buy some ham for the party, dude!
>
>http://ehams.com/default.htm
>
>Sammiches for all!

Then you'd better bring an assortment of bread and condiments, Greg.
And don't forget the cheese!

== 7 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 9:38 am
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

>>>>> Get a keg, dude! PARTY!
>>>> Sheesh, what about Hamms ?
>>> And buy some ham for the party, dude!
>> http://ehams.com/default.htm
>> Sammiches for all!
>
> Then you'd better bring an assortment of bread and condiments,
> Greg. And don't forget the cheese!

Are you kidding? I'm not attending unless you get some actual beer
there!

== 8 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 9:39 am
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

>>>> Shows you have a closed mind.
>>> No, it doesn't. It shows that I have my ears stuffed with cotton.
>> ...extracted directly from the inside of his skull.
>
> Not ALL of it, Greg!

Of course not; you'll want to save some of the cotton for next time.

== 9 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 10:09 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:0h9mj3118ba9301b5hmr08m4h710q11v1d@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:08:34 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
>>>>>>>>Speaking of which.....how's your luck
>>>>>>>>with Summer, Elisabeth, or Peachy ?
>>>>>>> Well, they all are still talking to me.
>>>>>>That would be noisy.
>>>>> I never said I was actually listening to them.
>>>>It would still be noisy.
>>> Yeah, but I tune it out most of the time.
>>Shows you have a closed mind.
>
> No, it doesn't. It shows that I have my ears stuffed with cotton.

You can't hear women bitch with beans in your ears.

>>> I normally only listen to
>>> them when they start hitting me or call me for dinner.
>>Only ? Those are musts.
>
> Well, there is one more thing. Wanna know what it is?

Nope.

== 10 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 10:09 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:lk9mj3hn0qvet507ecbfouufcv5li9ap0o@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:07:17 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>> Yeah, the rest of us drink Schlitz.
>>>>
>>>>"Hey ... PABST BLUE RIBBON!!"
>>>
>>> Get a keg, dude! PARTY!
>>
>>Sheesh, what about Hamms ?
>
> And buy some ham for the party, dude!

Pork rinds and moon pies for all !

== 11 of 11 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 10:10 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:v1cmj3tf69sopcc30mr4lo8da4hvbdt8ds@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:52:57 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
> wrote:
>
>>>>> Get a keg, dude! PARTY!
>>>> Sheesh, what about Hamms ?
>>>
>>> And buy some ham for the party, dude!
>>
>>http://ehams.com/default.htm
>>
>>Sammiches for all!
>
> Then you'd better bring an assortment of bread and condiments, Greg.
> And don't forget the cheese!

Cheese for everybody !

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 6 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:48 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:10:04 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>> You needn't brag about knowning Larry.
>>>>
>>>> Greg doesn't really known me at all, kid.
>>>
>>>Not so you'd knowntice, anyway.
>>
>> I knewn you were going to say that.
>
>Ahem. It's "I knewn you was gonna said that."

Oops, my bad. You'll have to excuse my foray into the unknow.

== 2 of 6 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:50 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 10:41:40 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>>> Perhaps one day you'll buy a spell checker that actually
>>> works.
>>
>> That would cuticate out about half yer commentcations.
>
>I'm not seeing the downside here.

Me neither. Commenting on Mos's spelling is more fun that a barrel of
monkeys.

== 3 of 6 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:57 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:13:34 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>> I knew she was in a few. One of my wife's favorite movies is
>> "Roxanne" and Shelly Duvall has a role in it. My wife must have
>> watched it 100 times over the years. We own the DVD.
>
>Well, one of my faviourite movies is "Alien" and she's not in it.
>And I own the DVD.
>Come to think of it, she's not in almost all the DVDs I own.

She isn't in any of my faviourite movies at all. In fact, I'm not
sure I even have a faviourite movie.

== 4 of 6 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:57 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:16:02 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> Usually he makes a rude comment, not an order.
>>>
>>>I gotcher "order" right here!
>>
>> Ask him if he wants fries with that.
>
>I already ordered Prime rib~medium rare,
>baked potato, brussel sprouts, and a Guinness.

Ask him if he wants fries with that, Greg.

== 5 of 6 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:58 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:14:54 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>See why I say your opinions don't count.
>>>>>>>>>>>> There's a reason that I don't number them, Mos.
>>>>>>>>>>>Because one is the loneliest number.
>>>>>>>>>> No, because they all fight to be number 1. I can't afford to show
>>>>>>>>>> any
>>>>>>>>>> favoritism.
>>>>>>>>>So you don't care who you vote for.
>>>>>>>> I can't answer that if my opinions don't count.
>>>>>>>Exactly.
>>>>>> But I will anyhow.
>>>>>How can you if you can't ?
>>>> By using Rule #1, of course!
>>>You mean this one:
>>>http://tinyurl.com/yqb946
>>
>> Although that may be a good Rule #1 for cannabis, it isn't as good as
>> my Rule #1 for rec.humor.
>
>You didn't specifly Rule #1 for rec.humor.
>Besides, we don't believe you.

Then you're finally grasping the basic tenet of Rule #1. Took you
long enough!

== 6 of 6 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 10:10 am
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> Ask him if he wants fries with that, Greg.

No. But I'll ask *you* (a) when you got promoted to manager of your
local McDonald's, and (b) why you think I work there.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: lost opportunity regained?
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4300ee33cbd5c8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:54 am
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> I'm quibbling over Greg's line of BS.

The ocean quibbles that the pond is wet.

== 2 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 9:25 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:54:20 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>
>> I'm quibbling over Greg's line of BS.
>
>The ocean quibbles that the pond is wet.

Are you suggesting that I don't makes waves?

== 3 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 9:55 am
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> Are you suggesting that I don't makes waves?

Ha. I heard you were permanently banned from the municipal swimming
pool for nearly emptying it with one of your high-dive "cannonballs".

== 4 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 10:11 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:1b9mj35c9e387jneqh7p54n2sdt3013aoh@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:09:12 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>> Greg usually takes his cold baths with the local possums. I
>>>>> wonder if he's ever had a hot bath. In Possum Junction the
>>>>> only running water they have is in the creek.
>>>>
>>>>http://www.nchotsprings.com/hstaspa.htm
>>>
>>> I don't know who you're trying to fool, but that spa was not in Possum
>>> Junction.
>>
>>Feh. So you're gonna quibble over property lines.
>
> I'm not quibbling over property lines at all. I'm quibbling over
> Greg's line of BS.

Greg owns cruise boats with Boston Shipping ?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 12/12/12
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:55 am
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

>> Now I'll never get it out of my head today!
>> Arrgh!!
>
> I may be able to help you with that, Greg.

Sorry, I stopped reading at this point - I know better than to think
you would volunteer to help me.

== 2 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 9:27 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:55:45 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
wrote:

>>> Now I'll never get it out of my head today!
>>> Arrgh!!
>>
>> I may be able to help you with that, Greg.
>
>Sorry, I stopped reading at this point - I know better than to think
>you would volunteer to help me.

Would you believe me if I offered to pay my setup fees in full?

== 3 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 9:41 am
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> Would you believe me if I offered to pay my setup fees in full?

<spit-take>

Can't reply...guffawing....

== 4 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 10:15 am
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com> wrote in message
news:5q0ngiFtikhvU1@mid.individual.net...
> Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>
>>> Now I'll never get it out of my head today!
>>> Arrgh!!
>>
>> I may be able to help you with that, Greg.
>
> Sorry, I stopped reading at this point - I know better than to think you
> would volunteer to help me.

Now, if he'd said, "You can pay me for this later".....

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