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==============================================================================
TOPIC: MI5 Persecution: Bernard Levin - The Times (30813)
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/512468003ae12730?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 17 2007 11:26 pm
From: MI5Victim@mi5.gov.uk

Fanatic's Fare for the Common Man

Certainty level: 90%

The article reproduced below was penned by Bernard Levin
for the Features section of the Times on 21 September 1991. To my mind, it
described the situation at the time and in particular a recent meeting with
a friend, during which I for the first time admitted to someone other than
my GP that I had been subjected to a conspiracy of harassment over the
previous year and a half.

There is a madman running loose about London, called David Campbell; I have
no reason to believe that he is violent, but he should certainly be
approached with caution. You may know him by the curious glitter in his
eyes and a persistent trembling of his hands; if that does not suffice, you
will find him attempting to thrust no fewer than 48 books into your arms,
all hardbacks, with a promise that, if you should return to the same
meeting-place next year, he will heave another 80 at you.

If, by now, the police have arrived and are keeping a close watch on him,
you may feel sufficiently emboldened to examine the books. The jackets are
a model of uncluttered typography, elegantly and simply laid out; there is
an unobtrusive colophon of a rising sun, probably not picked at random.
Gaining confidence - the lunatic is smiling by now, and the policemen, who
know about such things, have significantly removed their helmets - you
could do worse than take the jacket off the first book in the pile. The
only word possible to describe the binding is sumptuous; real cloth in a
glorious shade of dark green, with the title and author in black and gold
on the spine.

Look at it more closely; your eyes do not deceive you - it truly does have
real top-bands and tail-bands, in yellow, and, for good measure, a silk
marker ribbon in a lighter green. The paper is cream-wove and acid-free,
and the book is sewn, not glued.

Throughout the encounter, I should have mentioned, our loony has been
chattering away, although what he is trying to say is almost impossible to
understand; after a time, however, he becomes sufficiently coherent to make
clear that he is trying to sell the books to you. Well, now, such quality
in bookmaking today can only be for collectors' limited editions at a
fearsome price - £30, £40, £50?

No, no, he says, the glitter more powerful than ever and the trembling of
his hands rapidly spreading throughout his entire body; no, no - the books
are priced variously at £7, £8 or £9, with the top price £12.

At this, the policemen understandably put their helmets back on; one of
them draws his truncheon and the other can be heard summoning
reinforcements on his walkie-talkie. The madman bursts into tears, and
swears it is all true.

And it is.

David Campbell has acquired the entire rights to the whole of the
Everyman's Library, which died a lingering and shameful death a decade or
so ago, and he proposes to start it all over again - 48 volumes this
September and 80 more next year, in editions I have described, at the
prices specified. He proposes to launch his amazing venture simultaneously
in Britain and the United States, with the massive firepower of Random
Century at his back in this country, and the dashing cavalry of Knopf
across the water, and no one who loves literature and courage will forbear
to cheer.

At the time this article was written I had believed for some time that
columnists in the Times and other journalists had been making references to
my situation. Nothing unusual about this you may think, plenty of people
have the same sort of ideas and obviously the papers aren't writing about
them, so why should my beliefs not be as false as those of others?

What makes this article so extraordinary is that three or four days
immediately preceding its publication, I had a meeting with a friend,
during the course of which we discussed the media persecution, and in
particular that by Times columnists. It seemed to me, reading the article
by Levin in Saturday's paper, that he was describing in some detail his
"artist's impression" of that meeting. Most telling are the final
sentences, when he writes, "The madman bursts into tears, and swears it is
all true. And it is." Although I did not "burst into tears" (he seems to be
using a bit of poetic licence and exaggerating) I did try hard to convince
my friend that it was all true; and I am able to concur with Mr Levin,
because, of course, it is.

At the beginning of the piece Levin reveals a fear of being attacked by the
"irrational" subject of his story, saying "I have no reason to believe that
he is violent, but he should certainly be approached with caution". This
goes back to the xenophobic propaganda of "defence" against a "threat"
which was seen at the very beginning of the harassment. The impression of a
"madman running loose" who needs to be controlled through an agency which
assigns to itself the mantle of the "police" is also one which had been
expressed elsewhere.

In the final paragraph of this extract, his reference to Everyman's Library
as having "died a lingering and shameful death a decade or so ago" shows
clearly what sort of conclusion they wish to their campaign. They want a
permanent solution, and as they are prevented from achieving that solution
directly, they waste significant resources on methods which have been
repeatedly shown to be ineffective for such a purpose.

30813

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==============================================================================
TOPIC: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/75e18b4aba03f5c1?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 3:59 am
From: Bothrops Alticola

On Nov 15, 8:45 pm, "Uncle_vito" <uncle_vito2...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
>
> Here is a little test that will help you decide.
>
> The answer can be found by posing the following question:
>
> You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
> children.
>
> Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner,
> locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife,
> and charges at you.
>
> You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
> You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
>
> What do you do?
>
> .............................................................
>
> THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:
>
> Democrat's Answer:
>
> Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
>
> Does the man look poor or oppressed?
>
> Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
>
> Could we run away?
>
> What does my wife think?
>
> What about the kids?
>
> Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
> hand?
>
> What does the law say about this situation?
>
> Does the Kimber have appropriate safety built into it?
>
> Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this
> send to society and to my children?
>
> Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
>
> Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
>
> If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
> was stabbing me?
>
> Should I call 9-1-1?
>
> Why is this street so deserted?
>
> We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier,
> healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
>
> This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few
> days and try to come to a consensus.
>
> ...........................................................................-.........................................
>
> Republican's Answer:
>
> BANG!
>
> ...........................................................................-.......................................
>
> Southerner's Answer:
>
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
>
> BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
>
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
>
> BANG! Click
>
> Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or
> Hollow Points?"
>
> Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"
>
> Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist
>
> -------------------------------------------------------
> Learn about rec.guns at

http://www.recguns.net
> Win a Fulton Armory "Predator" AR-15 accuracy rig while
> supporting our RKBA. Details at

http://www.myguns.net
> -------------------------------------------------------

You are absofuckinglutely brilliant.

Did you dream up this piece of shit all by yourself, or, did you copy
it from another loon???

By the way, I was born a Southerner, a Democrat, and a Baptist. I
then learned to read. I am still a Southerner and a Democrat. And I
have a carry permit though I never carry a weapon unless I'm enroute
to the range or to hunt.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 7:46 am
From: William

On Nov 15, 7:45 pm, "Uncle_vito" <uncle_vito2...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
>
> Here is a little test that will help you decide.
>
> The answer can be found by posing the following question:
>
> You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
> children.
>
> Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner,
> locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife,
> and charges at you.
>
> You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
> You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
>
> What do you do?
>
> .............................................................
>
> THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:
>
> Democrat's Answer:
>
> Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
>
> Does the man look poor or oppressed?
>
> Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
>
> Could we run away?
>
> What does my wife think?
>
> What about the kids?
>
> Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
> hand?
>
> What does the law say about this situation?
>
> Does the Kimber have appropriate safety built into it?
>
> Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this
> send to society and to my children?
>
> Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
>
> Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
>
> If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
> was stabbing me?
>
> Should I call 9-1-1?
>
> Why is this street so deserted?
>
> We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier,
> healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
>
> This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few
> days and try to come to a consensus.
>
> ........................................................................... .........................................
>
> Republican's Answer:
>
> BANG!
>
> ........................................................................... .......................................
>
> Southerner's Answer:
>
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
>
> BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
>
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
>
> BANG! Click
>
> Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or
> Hollow Points?"
>
> Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"
>
> Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist
>
> -------------------------------------------------------
> Learn about rec.guns at

http://www.recguns.net
> Win a Fulton Armory "Predator" AR-15 accuracy rig while
> supporting our RKBA. Details at

http://www.myguns.net
> -------------------------------------------------------

I'm a gun toting liberal. Born in NYC. The Twin Towers were in NYC
(my niece's apartment was a few blocks away), not Po-Dunk-Town USA.
I would have shot him without blinking. I have no fondness for
dangerous religious fanatics, or their dogma.

Bill

==============================================================================
TOPIC: MI5 Persecution: Come back, Norma! (32988)
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d4e6ddbc141a2ab0?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 1:30 am
From: MI5Victim@mi5.gov.uk

Private Eye, 23 Oct 1992

Certainty level: 25%

I'm not really sure whether this cover was intended to get at me,
or whether it was re-interpreted after publication to be about me.
This issue of Private Eye came out in October 1992, by which time I had
been under severe continuous pressure at work and from the general
population in Oxford for many months. It had John Major saying to his
wife, "Come back, Norma!" under the title "Major's support lowest ever".

There's a story behind this. In late October I was in the local pub
(the Rose and Crown, nice traditional name eh) with two people from
work, Simon and Phil. Phil had with him a copy of the current Private
Eye. These are both "nice people" and on my side, I hasten to add.
Simon pointed out the message on the magazine's cover to Phil, and asked
"what do you think about that". Phil answered, "Well usually they
[Private Eye] get it right". This exchange happened in front of me.
Although I was ill at the time (this was before I'd started taking
medicines) I hadn't read anything into the Eye cover until these guys
pointed it out to me.

Sometime later, again in the same road, a student shouted to
one of his friends, "so when are you COMING BACK?", again in front
of me.

What I realised Phil thought it meant was a double-entendre, the
"coming" referring to the act of ejaculation, the "back" referring
to the human back-side. So in a play on words you get a person who
is referred to as a back-side ejaculating. Charming.

Of course, Phil could have been wrong. Perhaps there was no such meaning
intended by Private Eye. Perhaps he saw meaning which wasn't there.
Perhaps the moon is made from green cheese. Who knows?

32988

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==============================================================================
TOPIC: MI5 Persecution: Victor Lewis-Smith (35163)
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2d231d1d932d1b9e?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 2:33 am
From: MI5Victim@mi5.gov.uk

Victor Lewis-Smith

Certainty level: 10%

Victor Lewis-Smith has issued a denial through his webmaster
John Hayward-Warburton regarding this article; he says quite categorically
it's not written about me. I kind-of sort-of believe him, but I think
the conspiracy is so wide that the phrase "Eventually, I had to leave
because they were all trying to kill me" could have been intended to be
as if from any paranoid person, but could have been influenced by my
case in the particular. So the influence could have been sort-of
subconscious.

This article is from the Evening Standard of Thursday May 8, 1997.
It is titled "Goon, and best forgotten" and may be found on page 31.

I think VLS has written/produced stuff specifically about me in the past,
both in his Evening Standard column, one of which is reproduced below
(in another case, he was talking about computer hacking, and I think that
was directed at me), and a television programme in around late 1993
when he has a taxi driver who says "they're all trying to kill me guv"
and VLS responds "you're supposed to be quite intelligent aren't you".

However, his webmaster has issued a formal denial on his behalf, so it
is not for me to oppose what he has stated categorically.

35163

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==============================================================================
TOPIC: Court Docket, #12659
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/18d57b50b73fa8fa?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 6:53 am
From: "~Hippy"

Australian Court Docket, #12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite
her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the
smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the
driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this, when the lady got on
the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign
that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved
and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the
swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant
sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly
contain myself. But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat
under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this
Accident'... I just lost it.'

'CASE DISMISSED!'

~Hippy

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 9:05 am
From: peachy ashie passion

~Hippy wrote:

> Australian Court Docket, #12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
>
>
>
> A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite
> her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the
> smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused.
> When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the
> driver and he had the man arrested.
>
> The case came up in court.

Your entire joke rests on the idea that someone was arrested for
laughing at someone else?

And it came to COURT?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Stupid Mistake
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 8:12 am
From: "Greg Evans"

SummersFrenzy wrote:

>>>> You get bogarted a lot?
>>> I know that I'd like to "Humphrey" Peachy.
>> I don't have any idea what to say to that.
>
> That he doesn't have what it takes to be your Bacall girl

He does know how to whistle, doesn't he?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: MI5 Persecution: Introduction to Sent Faxes (363)
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/91724dfbaa913222?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 4:26 am
From: MI5Victim@mi5.gov.uk

Introduction to the Sent Faxes webpages

Between 1998 and April/2000 I sent some thirty articles on the subject of the MI5 Persecution to
British politicians, media, legal and diplomatic entities in the UK. Of those articles 24 are reproduced
on this part of the website. They were originally composed as Microsoft Word documents, and saved to HTML
form for publication here. A few of them were slightly edited in format for readability.

You will see that these articles cover quite comprehensively what has been going on since 1990, there being
quite a lot of material to cover, since it is a rare week that goes by without MI5 making some harassing
or threatening action against me. "How could it be True?"... they use the mental illness which they induced
in me as a ready explanation for my complaints. Who started it, why did it start, why it continues...
these faxed articles provide examination in more depth of the treatment in the Frequently Asked Questions webpages.
The sheer meaninglessness of the Secret Police actions is highlighted; their operatives make their livelihoods
by cynically exploiting the taxpayers, when in a more responsible country they would be looking at the inside of
prison cells.

The validity of this observation is proven by their reaction to my several suggestions in the articles that I
would cease sending faxes if MI5's agents (and it's always the same people doing the persecution) desisted from
continually harassing me. A number of times, you will see in the faxed articles, I have suggested that
we come to a "peace of mind agreement" where I cease complaining and they cease harassing. On one occasion,
I wrote to Hugh S.-W., the director of OCTS where I was employed in 1992-94 and who is aware of the
circumstances, asking that he intercede to bring this matter to a close, by initiating a meeting between
myself and the persecutors to mutually settle our differences; he didn't reply, but MI5 did
soon after - they said "This is what you wanted, wasn't it?, some sort of confrontation?".
The reality is the people stalking me are not interested in any settlement; for them crime pays, and
pays handsomely; moreover it is State-approved crime; the Police will never investigate or take action;
it is corruption on an incredible level and scale, and it has gone on for over a decade.

You will see that the articles contain three elements; firstly, there are original written articles,
many in the first half of 1999 when I was writing new articles every week and sending them by email and
fax during the weekend; then there are "MI5 Persecution Update" articles, which list happenings recent to
a particular transmission; and finally there is the "old faithful" Frequently Asked Questions article
which was sent on a few occasions during the three year period. These articles generated a number of
interesting responses from politicians and other recipients, many of which are documented in the
"received faxes" area of these webpages.

I hope you enjoy reading these articles. I'm not as angry as these articles necessarily make out,
only sometimes, usually soon after the persecutors have said something unpleasant at me; the purpose
of putting lots of fire and ire into the mix is to try to chuck it into the public domain which might
lead to MI5 being forced to curb their actions. Unfortunately that aim was not achieved, despite
many, many thousands of faxes being sent. Also, if any policemen are reading this, then I'm (a bit) sorry
about the rude things I said about "the Bill" in one or two of the articles; the police have never done me
any harm (yet) by commission, only by omission of doing anything to investigate my complaints or treat
them seriously.

363

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==============================================================================
TOPIC: Sex novels by instant download
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 8:25 am
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> Don't make me give you yet another motivational lesson,
> young man!

Gladly.

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 10:14 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message

>>> Some folks obviously have absolutely no reading comprehension skills
>>> at all.
>>
>>SRPOTW !!
>
> Not even close. Nice try, though.

Oh, my bad. It should have been SRPOTY.

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 10:17 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:reuvj35vhp0chauk5r25ggcnoa16sqrp4u@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 17:41:12 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>I have a severe issue whenever someone uses that whole "she was his
>>>>>>for the taking" BS. Oh my god. No.
>>>>>
>>>>> You do realize that story was humor, right? Please don't tell us that
>>>>> you're taking things seriously here.
>>>>
>>>>It's true, Miss Linda. If it was something that should
>>>>be taken seriously, he would have typed:
>>>>"As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help
>>>>but notice Larry's wilted, limp, mostly useless manhood."
>>>
>>> Really? Because I don't think I would have typed that.
>>
>>Yeah, you can't tell the truth if your life depended on it.
>
> Can too! I would have said "I do" on my wedding day even if her pappy
> hadn't been pointin' that shotgun at me.

You didn't have say "I do" at your wedding.
You said "I did; that's why we're getting married".

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 7 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 8:32 am
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> Is Peachy cheating on me, bondage porn-wise, Greg? Tell
> me it ain't so!

I think I can say with some confidence that cheating on you is not a
significant issue for Peachy.

== 2 of 7 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 8:32 am
From: "Greg Evans"

SummersFrenzy wrote:

> Crystal can be like that . . . good strong chemical bond (I
> think), but otherwise fairly weak . . . oh wait, that's MY ego
> . . . sheesh

I thought diamonds were stronger than that.

== 3 of 7 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 8:33 am
From: "Greg Evans"

SummersFrenzy wrote:

> Working . . . flirting outrageously . . . working . . .
> titillating coworkers at the holiday party . . . working . . .
> finding cute guys to torment . . . working . . . slept for a
> bit . . . did I mention I was working?

. . . wasting time here . . .

== 4 of 7 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 9:00 am
From: peachy ashie passion

SummersFrenzy wrote:

> peachy ashie passion wrote:
>
>>Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>>
>>
>>>Looks like she's on to us, guys!
>>
>> Dang! I usually hide it better than that.
>
>
> Only because they *want* to believe they're sly . . .
>
>

I usually try to humor them. I forgot!

== 5 of 7 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 9:02 am
From: peachy ashie passion

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 19:14:57 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
> <icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>>>>Looks like she's on to us, guys!
>>>
>>> Dang! I usually hide it better than that.
>>
>>Only because they *want* to believe they're sly . . .
>
>
> We're sly as sloths. Wait... did that sound right?

Sounded accurate. So probably not what you'd meant to say.

== 6 of 7 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 9:03 am
From: peachy ashie passion

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 01:54:29 GMT, peachy ashie passion
> <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>>>"No comment", Peachy thought. She would have said it out loud but for
>>>the ball gag that had been loving placed in her mouth. Her back
>>>arched in pain caused by the hot candle wax being dripped onto her...
>>
>> You know, it's actually not that painful. It's a lot like warm
>>water. Very soothing.
>
>
> God, I love true confessions!

Yeah, you and I really gotta talk more.

== 7 of 7 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 10:21 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:fevvj3pqisg5ussvmo6i4ruqq4vb9sksc1@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 17:46:29 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>> "No comment", Peachy thought. She would have said it out loud but for
>>> the ball gag that had been loving placed in her mouth. Her back
>>> arched in pain caused by the hot candle wax being dripped onto her...
>>
>>What is this, more Remedial Writer's Class ?
>
> In your case, that would be remedial reading class.

Oo, snappy come back. You're sharp as a marshmellow.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: The Roswell Story
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/a946dfd0dbeeb082?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 8:57 am
From: peachy ashie passion

Tim Howard wrote:
> Ubiquitous wrote:
>
>> Many will recall that on July 8, 1947 witnesses claimed that an
>> unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and
>> cattle ranch outside Roswell , New Mexico .
>>
>>
>> This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by
>> the U.S.Air Force and the Federal Government.
>>
>>
>> However, you may NOT know that in the month of March 1948 , exactly nine
>> months after that historic day:
>>
> What I know is your are either a liar, an idiot, or both.
>
>>
>> Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.;
>> Hillary Rodham;
>> John F. Kerry;
>> William Jefferson Clinton;
>> Howard Dean;
>> Nancy Pelosi;
>> Dianne Feinstein;
>> Charles E. Schumer and,
>> Barbara Boxer
>>
>>
>> were born.
>>
> Feinstein was born in 1933. Boxer born in 1940. Rodham born in 1947.
> Schumer born in 1950. Pelosi born in 1940. Kerry born in 1943. Clinton
> born in 1946.
>
>>
>> See what happens when aliens breed with sheep... This piece of
>> information may clear up a lot of things.
>>
> This clears up nothing because it is not true.

Heh, poor Republicans, having to make up lies to try to get laughs.
All the Dems have to do is show newsreels of the President.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 10:19 am
From: "MosNot"

"David Wright" <wright@l1000.prodigy.net> wrote in message
news:4%Q%i.84$C24.12@newssvr17.news.prodigy.net...
> In article <A4GdnbXuAIKE5KLanZ2dnUVZ_smnnZ2d@comcast.com>,
> Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>
>>It is simply breathtaking to watch the glee and abandon with which
>>the liberal media and the Angry Left have been attempting to turn
>>our military victory in Iraq into a second Vietnam quagmire. Too bad
>>for them, it's failing.
>
> Finally! Something funny posted on rec.humor!

Almost as funny as your stuff.....

==============================================================================
TOPIC: MI5 Persecution: Faxes Sent to Diplomatic/Legal (2538)
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/e0e75c20c2e42165?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 5:30 am
From: MI5Victim@mi5.gov.uk

Faxes Sent to British Diplomatic/Legal logs

During the 1998-2000 period my records indicate that I sent at least 3,642 faxes to diplomatic and legal offices
located in the British isles, of which 3,345 went via TPC's email-to-fax service and 297 were sent via fax-modem
direct from my computer. The actual figure is somewhat higher since, for most of this period, whenever a recipient
asked to be deleted from my mailing list, I totally wiped all entries including that from the logfile.

In the records "Y" indicates successful transmission from fax-modem, "N" indicates failed transmission from fax-modem.
"E" indicates an error occurred while transmitting via fax-modem and a fax may have been only partly transmitted.
"y" and "n" indicate success or failure via TPC.

In April 2000 I changed the method of operation by recording "R" when a recipient requested removal, rather than
wiping their details from my mailing list and records; and keeping "B" records for when TPC actioned a ban on a
recipient's fax-number, but the recipient did not write to ask me to cease faxing. The purpose of these changes
was to keep more accurate and complete records, but the intention was thwarted by the police complaint.

441712011004 yyyyYyynyyyyyny
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441819800670 yyyyYyyynnnn
441819891371 yyyyEyyyyyyy

No faxes were sent after April 2000.

2538

--
Posted via NewsDemon.com - Premium Uncensored Newsgroup Service
------->>>>>>http://www.NewsDemon.com<<<<<<------
Unlimited Access, Anonymous Accounts, Uncensored Broadband Access

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 12/12/12
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 10:11 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:2iuvj315s0fu6rcql2q6qfdbodaoif23s0@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 17:43:21 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>> You're the one who thinks he's a "nice guy".
>>
>>Rule #1 !
>
> It's in the archives, Mos. You actually said you liked him quite a
> number of times. Don't make me post your quotes here.

Wasn't me. If you want to prove it,
post the quotes including the conversation.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: ATJ.. Completely destroyed
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/3f2805ea1da0a7e1?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 10:12 am
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:37uvj3pt2cf6t51dt0souot2s9rnllsg9b@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 17 Nov 2007 20:11:51 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>> <turning out lights>
>>
>>Finally, since nobody's been home there for ages.
>
> Atj must be responsible for global warming!

Jeez, figures you'd make a fart joke out of it.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: MI5 Persecution: Eclipse pub 20/12/02 (26463)
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8123be6ae4844ed0?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 18 2007 10:18 am
From: "MosNot"

<MI5Victim@mi5.gov.uk> wrote in message news:m07101805301839@4ax.com...
>
> Eclipse pub in Balham (20/Dec/2002)
>
> Certainty level: 70% this long post is boring.
>
> On Friday 20/December/2002 I went to Balham to do some shopping and
> eating.

Ya know, none of us give a rat's arse what you do.

==============================================================================

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Posted by NrSD, Minggu, 18 November 2007 10.22

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