25 new messages in 11 topics - digest

rec.humor
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Today's topics:

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 11/20 Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/40586282901f8163?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:40 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4118738E.E43FB8D5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Babble: Cross between a sheep and a male cow.
> >
> > Bubble: A fat male cow.
> >
> > Hortense: A nervous prostitute.
> >
> > Hubble: Very far seeing bull.
> >
> > Gable: Homosexual bull.
> >
> > Lamba: Male sheep that has bred.
> >
> > Rubble: A ruined bull.
> >
> > Yuba: Sound of a female sheep (Ewe) or a tree sheep (Yew).
> >
> > Yuban: Ban on female sheep or a certain tree (Yew).
>
> Bubble Sextant: Baby male cow who guards the church ornaments and can not
> only jump over the moon but can also shoot the stars and sun.

Sextant: Ant on Viagra.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 11/20 Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/abc9fc6e79372a5a?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:40 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:411872B1.F13A4B0B@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Webber: Cold Internet basketball player.
>
> How come? Is thw webber freezing over there?
> >
> > Webster: Spinning Internet.

Web brrrrrrrrr.....

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Knights - Kdays.
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/776c801d6517894d?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:40 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> I'm sure we've done all the knights. How about some kdays for a change?
>
> Dayak: A large Tibetan ox at dawn that has mysteriously ended up in Borneo.
>
> Lackaday: What a Leap Year does.

I thought that a Leap Year had an extra day, not lacked a day.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 11/20 Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/f3f295f0d16a02bd?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:41 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4118713D.24387321@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote:
> >
> > > On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 08:14:39 +0000
> > > SFA <bat_outa_hell@velo.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > > Cybe R. Wizard typed::
> > > > > On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 02:57:38 GMT
> > > > > "Cybe R. Wizard" <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >>On 26 Jan 2004 02:21:13 GMT
> > > > >>johnnaishwerner@aol.com (Johnnaishwerner) wrote:
> > > > >>
> > > > >>>Did you hear about the furniture maker who sent his daughter to
> > > > >>>finishing school?
> > > > >>
> > > > >>He was hoping she would varnish for good.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>Cybe R. Wizard
> > > > >
> > > > > He never expected that she'd lacquer requirements, even though her
> > > > > name was Lindsey Doyle. Plus, at her interview, she rubbed the
> > > > > board wrong, a permanent stain on the family name.
> > > > >
> > > > > Cybe R. Wizard
> > > > >
> > > > Better stop before you go completely against the grain, Cybe.
> > >
> > > > SFA.
> > >
> > > Greetings and salutations! Did you come to steel? Wool you stay?
> >
> > Steel Wool: Comes from iron sheep.
>
> And a mixture of aluminum powder and iron oxide comes from Thermit the Frog!

Thermit: A hot glove.

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:41 am
From: Tim Bruening

Basalt: Sodium Clorine sheep.

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:46 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:419F0046.2A560718@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4118713D.24387321@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 08:14:39 +0000
> > > > > SFA <bat_outa_hell@velo.com> wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Cybe R. Wizard typed::
> > > > > > > On Mon, 26 Jan 2004 02:57:38 GMT
> > > > > > > "Cybe R. Wizard" <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >>On 26 Jan 2004 02:21:13 GMT
> > > > > > >>johnnaishwerner@aol.com (Johnnaishwerner) wrote:
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >>>Did you hear about the furniture maker who sent his daughter to
> > > > > > >>>finishing school?
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >>He was hoping she would varnish for good.
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >>Cybe R. Wizard
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > He never expected that she'd lacquer requirements, even though
> her
> > > > > > > name was Lindsey Doyle. Plus, at her interview, she rubbed the
> > > > > > > board wrong, a permanent stain on the family name.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Cybe R. Wizard
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > Better stop before you go completely against the grain, Cybe.
> > > > >
> > > > > > SFA.
> > > > >
> > > > > Greetings and salutations! Did you come to steel? Wool you stay?
> > > >
> > > > Steel Wool: Comes from iron sheep.
> > >
> > > And a mixture of aluminum powder and iron oxide comes from Thermit the
> Frog!
> >
> > Thermit: A hot glove.
>
> Thermic Lance: Held in a Knight's hot glove.
>
> Glove that's thin from disease, hunger or cold: Gauntlet.

Bathroom glove: Toilet.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Pennies
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/fad6c9a74eae7f6e?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:41 am
From: Tim Bruening

License: Untruthful pennies.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 11/20 Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72f45515222f20f7?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:42 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41265E27.C366AFD2@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Subcellular: Underwater cell phone.
> >
> > Subcompact: Agreement among merperson and fish nations.
> >
> > Subprogram: What runs an underwater computer.
> >
> > Subshell: Outside of a submarine.
>
> Can't be right. Outside of a submarine is water.

Subshell: Underwater oil company.

Beacon: Meeting of bees.

Deacon: Meeting of Ds.

Falcon: Meeting of fals.

== 2 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:46 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:419EFFAE.A945DDD8@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41265E27.C366AFD2@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Subcellular: Underwater cell phone.
> > > >
> > > > Subcompact: Agreement among merperson and fish nations.
> > > >
> > > > Subprogram: What runs an underwater computer.
> > > >
> > > > Subshell: Outside of a submarine.
> > >
> > > Can't be right. Outside of a submarine is water.
> >
> > Subshell: Hard covering of a submarine.
> >
> > Shellfish: Fish artillery.
>
> Seahorses: Fish cavalry.
>
> Stonefish: Ammunition for underwater Trebouchets.
>
> Nurse Shark: Member of the fish medical corps.
>

Raffish: Fish that shine.

Wolfish: Wild canine fish.

== 3 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:46 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

Oafish: Tactless fish.

Offish: Fish that aren't on.

== 4 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:47 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

Hagfish: Old female fish.

Huffish: Fish that blow.

== 5 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:47 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

Codfish: Fish that pay Cash On Delivery.

Dwarfish: Small fish.

== 6 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:47 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

Codfish: Fish that pay Cash On Delivery.

Dwarfish: Small fish.

== 7 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:47 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

Angelfish: Fish in Heaven.

Catfish: Fish that purr.

== 8 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:47 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

Starfish: Fish in Hollywood.

Selfish: Do you SELFISH here?

== 9 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:47 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

Elfish: A cross between a fish and a short legendary magical being.

Monkfish: Religious fish.

== 10 of 10 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:48 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

Stiffer: Rigid hair.

Twofer: A pair of hairs.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 11/20 Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/286390d958bb5959?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:43 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41265CE7.4140E97A@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Tim Bruening wrote:
> >
> > > mike wheeEler wrote:
> > >
> > > > In article <3FB4193B.977C1CCE@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > > > tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at the world
> oddly when:
> > > > >
> > > > >Eden: A home on the Internet.
> > > > >
> > > > Purgetory: grid rid of those british polly ticks from your hardrive..
> > >
> > > Lucifer: Hair of the Devil.
> >
> > Helmet: Hat of the Devil
>
> Lucifer: Secret code you have to punch in to get the lavatory door to open.

Aquifer: Watery hair.

Cipher: Coded hair.

Conifer: Hairy tree.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:44 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4126568C.74BF531D@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Seaming: Chinese vase in the ocean.
> >
> > Swimming: Vase in a pool.
> >
> > Whisker: Long thin dog.
> >
> > Whisper: Price of small light remnant.
>
> Whiskey: Metal device shaped in such a way that when it is inserted into the
> appropriate lock the lock's mechanism can be rotated, that opens the
> cocktail cabinet.

Cocktail: Rear of a rooster?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 11/20 Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/25a49e971d86667f?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:43 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41265902.ED384394@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > KIMEVANS <kimevans@bigpond.com> wrote in message
> > > news:WWvjc.782$TT.313@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
> > > > demanded: the man dinged once too often
> > > >
> > > Demanded: Demised satanic helper.
> >
> > Remanded: Man dies again.
>
> Remanded in Custody: Man dies by falling into flavoured cornflour or eggs
> and milk again.

Custody: Swearing amphibian.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 11/20 Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/da6a571d61861d9e?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:44 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Surreal: Knight who only eats freshwater fishes of the order Anguilliformes
> or Apodes, because he finds they increase his sex-drive. They're an
> Apodesiac.

Surreel: Knight of Hollywood.

> Sex drive: Lovers' Lane.

Superman prefers Lois Lane.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Moter Boater Toter Floater Voter
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/19ff63def4b51005?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:45 am
From: Tim Bruening

Frank and Ernest cartoon of September 5, 2004:

Frank: In news from the capitol, there's a bill to have voter
registration
when licensing cars.

Ernie: The Motor Voter Bill.

Frank: An amendment would include people licensing watercraft.

Ernie: The Motor Boater Voter Bill.

Frank: And another includes those with trailers.

Ernie: The Motor Boater Toter Voter Bill.

Frank: Knock it off Ernie! We're serious journalists here!

Frank: They might even include hot air balloonists.

Ernie: The Motor Boater Toter Floater Voter Bill!

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:45 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:419EFCB9.A6563CBD@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Musical bed things: Bedding, Sheeting, and Quilting.
> >
> > Pillowing: Where sleeping birds put their heads.
>
> When lying *down* prezoomably.

Prezoom: Before you speed up.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Thanksgiving Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/e8fe862791e0af39?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:45 am
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:419EFC9C.C2892BC@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40A1E2CF.85FD2323@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Gillian V wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "J. A. Mc." <jaSPAMc@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4etf109tf60ia4nsf1lhr32o7dhh977lci@4ax.com...
> > > > > > On 28 Jan 2004 13:18:39 GMT, Dr Tormento <reply@togroup.com> found
> > > these
> > > > > > unused words floating about:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > >"KIMEVANS" <kimevans@bigpond.com> wrote in
> > > news:YPNRb.32277$Wa.4650@news-
> > > > > > >server.bigpond.net.au:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >> I think I may have caught bird flu....I'm feeling rather
> peckish.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >That's no way to beakin a thread!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Yes, it's not a crop, her start.
> > > > >
> > > > > It's enough to get you into a flap, though.
> > > >
> > > > Balk balk balk balk balk!
> > > >
> > > You have *five* snooker tables? So you got thirty pockets. You must be
> very
> > > rich.
> >
> > Snooker: Deceitful dog.
>
> Snue-cur: Frummer lady kheled.

Frummer: Out of the ocean.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Tues, Nov 20 2007 12:45 am
From: Tim Bruening

Hubble: What a space turkey says.

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Posted by NrSD, Selasa, 20 November 2007 03.37

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