25 new messages in 10 topics - digest

rec.humor
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor?hl=en

rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Christian group prays for troubled Hollywood Celebs--why?
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/e4ab34cd9400fc51?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 4 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 2:14 pm
From: Mike Mordant

On Nov 19, 12:51 am, Tim Howard <tim.how...@suddenlink.net> wrote:
> www.rawstory.com/news/mochila/Christian_group_prays_for_celebs_111520...
>
> Just to summarize the above story:
>
> A Christian group called the Hollywood Prayer Network, who according to
> the story, has over 5,000 members (why has this group of weirdos not
> gotten any attention before) has them pick a celeb to pray for.
> Troubled celebs like Brittany, Lindsay, Paris, etc. are the top prayer
> receivers. The group even claims one of their members met and gave a
> Bible to Paris Hilton recently, and they plan "to pass one on to Spears
> later this month." I guess they know her schedule. : )
>
> Why would they waste their time? According to the story, "Members of
> the network, which has chapters in 16 U.S. cities and eight countries,
> see Hollywood as the 21st century's largest mission field, a powerful
> industry that can be used to sow the seeds of an international cultural
> and religious revival." And if you are wondering if they really take
> themselves this seriously and think marginally talented self-centered
> Hollywood celebs are that important to everyone's lives, consider this
> quote from one member, Robert Johnston, a professor of theology and
> culture at Fuller Seminary in Pasadena...
> "The prayer network is the equivalent, and perhaps more important,
> than praying for our president," Johnston said. "Just as churches have
> traditionally prayed for leaders, now we recognize that one of our
> primary sources of leadership is the entertainment industry."
>
> I guess these silly religious celebfans have never read the parable of
> the sower. Don't sow your seeds on rocks or among weeds, sow them on
> fertile ground.

Why waste their time?

The True Christian type is impressed with wealth and celebrity. Any
of the folks they have targeted would make a great get. They would
then be used to recruit hundreds of thousands of equally
impressionable morons.

== 2 of 4 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 2:45 pm
From: panamfloyd@hotmail.com

On Nov 19, 5:22 am, les_on_usenet <delete-unr...@leswell.freeuk.com>
wrote:
> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:51:52 -0800, Tim Howard
>
>
>
>
>
> <tim.how...@suddenlink.net> wrote:
> >www.rawstory.com/news/mochila/Christian_group_prays_for_celebs_111520...
>
> >Just to summarize the above story:
>
> >A Christian group called the Hollywood Prayer Network, who according to
> >the story, has over 5,000 members (why has this group of weirdos not
> >gotten any attention before) has them pick a celeb to pray for.
> >Troubled celebs like Brittany, Lindsay, Paris, etc. are the top prayer
> >receivers. The group even claims one of their members met and gave a
> >Bible to Paris Hilton recently, and they plan "to pass one on to Spears
> >later this month." I guess they know her schedule. : )
>
> >Why would they waste their time? According to the story, "Members of
> >the network, which has chapters in 16 U.S. cities and eight countries,
> >see Hollywood as the 21st century's largest mission field, a powerful
> >industry that can be used to sow the seeds of an international cultural
> >and religious revival." And if you are wondering if they really take
> >themselves this seriously and think marginally talented self-centered
> >Hollywood celebs are that important to everyone's lives, consider this
> >quote from one member, Robert Johnston, a professor of theology and
> >culture at Fuller Seminary in Pasadena...
>
> Me likesers thees :-)
>
> This is great. This 'in-your-face' clownish behavoir will help people
> recognise Christianity for what it is. Give them all the publicity
> they want and it will help accelerate the decline of their sad
> little cult with their comic beliefs and comic antics. How can anybody
> possibly take them seriously after this?
>
> We see them with their little placards intruding themselves into
> Olympic events and they look so pathetic in their obvious
> desperation.

I still feel for the marathon runner that got pushed off course by an
idiot priest at Athens `04. The man would have won the gold. Didn't
that same idiot run on course at a Formula One race once? Talk about a
Darwin Award runner-up..

-Panama Floyd, Atlanta.
aa#2015/KoBAAWA!

== 3 of 4 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 3:19 pm
From: Gator Slayer

On Nov 19, 1:51 am, Tim Howard <tim.how...@suddenlink.net> wrote:
> www.rawstory.com/news/mochila/Christian_group_prays_for_celebs_111520...
>
> Just to summarize the above story:
>
> A Christian group called the Hollywood Prayer Network, who according to
> the story, has over 5,000 members (why has this group of weirdos not
> gotten any attention before) has them pick a celeb to pray for.
> Troubled celebs like Brittany, Lindsay, Paris, etc. are the top prayer
> receivers. The group even claims one of their members met and gave a
> Bible to Paris Hilton recently, and they plan "to pass one on to Spears
> later this month." I guess they know her schedule. : )
>
> Why would they waste their time? According to the story, "Members of
> the network, which has chapters in 16 U.S. cities and eight countries,
> see Hollywood as the 21st century's largest mission field, a powerful
> industry that can be used to sow the seeds of an international cultural
> and religious revival." And if you are wondering if they really take
> themselves this seriously and think marginally talented self-centered
> Hollywood celebs are that important to everyone's lives, consider this
> quote from one member, Robert Johnston, a professor of theology and
> culture at Fuller Seminary in Pasadena...
> "The prayer network is the equivalent, and perhaps more important,
> than praying for our president," Johnston said. "Just as churches have
> traditionally prayed for leaders, now we recognize that one of our
> primary sources of leadership is the entertainment industry."
>
> I guess these silly religious celebfans have never read the parable of
> the sower. Don't sow your seeds on rocks or among weeds, sow them on
> fertile ground.

Probably just to freak YOU out.

== 4 of 4 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 3:59 pm
From: johac

In article <6v04k3h9ch3ijv2c2tcll58l2hgcn5ddai@4ax.com>,
Michael Gray <mikegray@newsguy.com> wrote:

> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:51:52 -0800, Tim Howard
> <tim.howard@suddenlink.net> wrote:
>
> >www.rawstory.com/news/mochila/Christian_group_prays_for_celebs_11152007.html
> >
> >Just to summarize the above story:
> >
> >A Christian group called the Hollywood Prayer Network, who according to
> >the story, has over 5,000 members (why has this group of weirdos not
> >gotten any attention before) has them pick a celeb to pray for.
> >Troubled celebs like Brittany, Lindsay, Paris, etc. are the top prayer
> >receivers. The group even claims one of their members met and gave a
> >Bible to Paris Hilton recently, and they plan "to pass one on to Spears
> >later this month." I guess they know her schedule. : )
> >
> >Why would they waste their time?
>
> Because they have a ready market of ignorant superstitious unthinking
> cretins who are rich.

O tempora! O mores! The decline and fall of American culture and society
is complete!
--
John #1782

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Chinese food
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 2:15 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:b5v3k3l0jsvlsrrklqrle5br5b7ts1tj00@4ax.com,
Elisabeth Mueller <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>> Are you kidding?
>
> Only lambing.

Watch out for that prolapsed whatever it is.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 4:48 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Elisabeth Mueller" <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote in message
news:p3v3k359d7j1k3rd3su57nr9ta4qs78usj@4ax.com...
> MosNot schrieb:
>
>>
>>"Elisabeth Mueller" <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote in message
>>news:6ckbj3pdon1su8mkkob74fho9l2p3nprvd@4ax.com...
>>> MosNot schrieb:
>>>
>>>>
>>>>"Elisabeth Mueller" <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote in message
>>>>news:94i9j3p1fne99pqnd9g803lh5tm1ik8h3i@4ax.com...
>>>>> ynotssor schrieb:
>
>>>>>> - Marie Antionette
>>>>>
>>>>> Another famous Austrian female export.
>>>> ^
>>>>Misspelt: sexpot.
>>>
>>> You think Marie Antoinette was sexy?
>>
>>Was. Not now.
>
> You really love *all* kind of women.

Yes !

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Group Therapy ......
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/032e4011884320cd?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 3:19 pm
From: "Mr. Mistery"

Fun? click on:
http://www.xs4all.nl/~npjdjong/index.html

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young
mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To
the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named
your daughter, Candy." He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is
money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turned to
the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. Again, it manifests itself in
your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother got up, took
her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

Mr. Mistery.

Fun? click on:
http://www.xs4all.nl/~npjdjong/index.html

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Two days
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/be16f8b4c2a63696?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 4:47 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Elisabeth Mueller" <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote in message
news:2tv3k39iivj66kuee7kkfv8c5o59fhtnj8@4ax.com...
> MosNot schrieb:
>
>>
>>"Elisabeth Mueller" <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote in message
>>news:2tkbj394bil1ptun8fo8aua235leapct9b@4ax.com...
>>> MosNot schrieb:
>>>
>>>>
>>>>"Elisabeth Mueller" <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote in message
>>>>news:7mi9j31ecutjiht0jvivm7cb9umnsu9hbs@4ax.com...
>>>>> MosNot schrieb:
>>>
>>>>>>Try answering while you are naked and standing on a chair.
>>>>>
>>>>> Okay.
>>>>
>>>><click, click, click>
>>>
>>> Is that the sound of an elevator?
>>
>>....um....I'm learning to tap dance ?
>
> You like singing in the rain?

With you, doing anything in the rain, I would like.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:06 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:33:11 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>>I always was good at whining and dining a girl.
>>>>>
>>>>>Now where have I heared that before?
>>>>
>>>>From me?
>>>
>>>Yup. Now pass the bottle.
>>
>>But it's already empty!
>
>You call that "good at whining and dining"?

Yep. You're the one who's doing the whining.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Stupid Mistake
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 4:47 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Elisabeth Mueller" <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote in message
news:a004k3pmngvaokvd9dkp08r7ngf3nqsldi@4ax.com...
> MosNot schrieb:
>
>>
>>"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
>>news:0dgnj3d86jh20ocamhdni0gkfggtvi03po@4ax.com...
>>> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:10:15 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
>>> wrote:
>
>>>>Cheese for everybody !
>>>
>>> <Elisabeth books a plane ticket>
>>
>>Extra cheese for Elisabeth !
>
> A Mr. Bean Sketch comes to mind ....

Never seen them.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:04 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 13:32:26 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
<icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>>>> You get bogarted a lot?
>>>>> I know that I'd like to "Humphrey" Peachy.
>>>> I don't have any idea what to say to that.
>>> That he doesn't have what it takes to be your Bacall girl
>>
>> He does know how to whistle, doesn't he?
>
>He certainly blows a lot . . . but I don't think that's whistling

I never blow! I hum.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 7 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 4:49 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Elisabeth Mueller" <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote in message
news:icv3k3t77gcf86dedj54ikge0tnpnqsn4a@4ax.com...
> MosNot schrieb:
>
>>
>>"Elisabeth Mueller" <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote in message
>>news:0fkbj3ddombimgfdvfehh98rtj0o8cj30c@4ax.com...
>
>>> Are there children in rh?
>>
>>Childish. That would be Larry.
>>The rest of us are just young at heart.
>
> Especially you.

I have been told to grow up.
Feh. Why would I want to do that ?

== 2 of 7 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 4:50 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Elisabeth Mueller" <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote in message
news:dgv3k356le33avt03uj3mcqcr6m91qtjbf@4ax.com...
> MosNot schrieb:
>
>>
>>"Elisabeth Mueller" <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote in message
>>news:mjkbj3tv2vn7er6m5gjajf2ajnmp3laoj0@4ax.com...
>>> Larry Krzewinski schrieb:
>>>
>>>>On Fri, 9 Nov 2007 18:03:02 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
>>>>wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>> I hope I am invited.
>>>>>
>>>>>Missed it. Tonight...pork chops and brussel sprouts.
>>>>
>>>>Brussels sprouts? Eww YUCK!
>>>
>>> But they are fun!
>>
>>Bet he doesn't like artichokes, either.
>
> He doesn't know what is good.

Him admitting to eating at McDonalds is proof enough.

== 3 of 7 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 4:51 pm
From: "MosNot"

"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:fmn0j.6084$K_3.4952@trnddc03...
> Elisabeth Mueller wrote:

>> MosNot schrieb:
>>>"Elisabeth Mueller" <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote in message
>>>>peachy ashie passion schrieb:
>>>>> Ugh. My kid has been eating those. Cheese and mayo on raisin
>>>>> bread.
>>>>Kids will eat everything. They will grow up and develop tastebuds,
>>>>eventually.
>>>Until they do, they'll still want to go to McDonalds.
>> It's an easy to read sign of immaturity.
>
> I know. I can't HELP being immature!

Burger King is better. Flame cooked, not
sitting on a greasy grill, like at McDonalds.

== 4 of 7 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 4:54 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Elisabeth Mueller" <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote in message
news:chv3k31brga7hioohs89i4sr8tjbad7gkt@4ax.com...
> Greg Evans schrieb:
>
>>SummersFrenzy wrote:
>>
>>> Artichokes taste nothing like brussel sprouts . . . i.e., it
>>> is possible to like one but not the other
>>
>>Unless one doesn't have the proper tastebuds, and both are
>>indistinguishable
>>from wet cardboard.
>
> So this is how they make them in America? Thanks for the warning.
> They obviously not only ruin beer and cheese.

My favourite burgers:
http://www.vidaliaonions.com/products/Burgers.htm

== 5 of 7 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 4:54 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Elisabeth Mueller" <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote in message
news:2dv3k3dunc622qra4ra19onevq6300rh86@4ax.com...
> Larry Krzewinski schrieb:
>
>>On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:07:13 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
>><maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:
>>
>
>>>Are there children in rh?
>>
>>Well, there's Mos. And Greg can act childish once in awhile.
>
> Really? I didn't recognize.

That is because he posts as Larry at that time.

== 6 of 7 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:07 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:33:10 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>Are there children in rh?
>>
>>Well, there's Mos. And Greg can act childish once in awhile.
>
>Really? I didn't recognize.

Sometimes that trait can be hard to recognize from a distance. How
far is Austria from the US?

== 7 of 7 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:08 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 21:37:15 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>>> Ugh. My kid has been eating those. Cheese and mayo on raisin bread.
>>>>
>>>>Kids will eat everything. They will grow up and develop tastebuds,
>>>>eventually.
>>>
>>>Until they do, they'll still want to go to McDonalds.
>>
>> It's an easy to read sign of immaturity.
>
> I know. I can't HELP being immature!

Filet O Fish, my dear?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: I usually don't plug websites, but... Lets Say Thanks
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/bc539675a937ecf6?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 5:49 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:57:58 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>Whether you are for or against
>
>the war, our guys and gals over there need to know
>
>we are behind them...

Well DUH! If we were in front of them we'd probably get shot.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: ATJ.. Completely destroyed
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/3f2805ea1da0a7e1?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 5:55 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 17:48:33 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>> . . It was Larry and Greg who noted that she has your number
>>
>> Yippee!! Hooray for us!
>
>Horrays for Greg and Larry, cheese for Elisabeth !

I can't speak for Greg, but why in the world would I want prostitute
sting rays?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Sex novels by instant download
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 4 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 5:59 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 11:14:39 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> Some folks obviously have absolutely no reading comprehension skills
>>>> at all.
>>>
>>>SRPOTW !!
>>
>> Not even close. Nice try, though.
>
>Oh, my bad. It should have been SRPOTY.

You obviously underestimate my skills. It should have been the SRPOTD
award.

== 2 of 4 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:00 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 11:25:49 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> Don't make me give you yet another motivational lesson,
>> young man!
>
>Gladly.

Ok. Don't make me give you yet another motivational lesson, Gladly.
BTW, when did you change your name?

== 3 of 4 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:01 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 11:35:06 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>> I took her to Disneyland so I could take her on Mr. Toads'
>>>>>>>> Wild Ride.
>>>>>>>Only Larry could take a child's innocent amusement ride and turn it
>>>>>>>into
>>>>>>>a disturbing euphemism.
>>>>>> Euphemism? What euphemism?
>>>>>"I took her"
>>>> And you phemismed her?
>>>More of a phehemzeed.
>>
>> Why don't I believe you?
>
>Perhaps because you're not Agent Fox Mulder.

The Mos is out there!

== 4 of 4 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:02 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 11:17:16 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>I have a severe issue whenever someone uses that whole "she was his
>>>>>>>for the taking" BS. Oh my god. No.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> You do realize that story was humor, right? Please don't tell us that
>>>>>> you're taking things seriously here.
>>>>>
>>>>>It's true, Miss Linda. If it was something that should
>>>>>be taken seriously, he would have typed:
>>>>>"As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help
>>>>>but notice Larry's wilted, limp, mostly useless manhood."
>>>>
>>>> Really? Because I don't think I would have typed that.
>>>
>>>Yeah, you can't tell the truth if your life depended on it.
>>
>> Can too! I would have said "I do" on my wedding day even if her pappy
>> hadn't been pointin' that shotgun at me.
>
>You didn't have say "I do" at your wedding.
>You said "I did; that's why we're getting married".

I never said all that! It would have been impossible to say all that
since my jaws were wired shut.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 12/12/12
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:02 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 11:11:54 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> You're the one who thinks he's a "nice guy".
>>>
>>>Rule #1 !
>>
>> It's in the archives, Mos. You actually said you liked him quite a
>> number of times. Don't make me post your quotes here.
>
>Wasn't me. If you want to prove it,
>post the quotes including the conversation.

Including your IP address?

==============================================================================

You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "rec.humor"
group.

To post to this group, visit http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor?hl=en

To unsubscribe from this group, send email to rec.humor-unsubscribe@googlegroups.com

To change the way you get mail from this group, visit:
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/subscribe?hl=en

To report abuse, send email explaining the problem to abuse@googlegroups.com

==============================================================================
Google Groups: http://groups.google.com?hl=en

Posted by NrSD, Senin, 19 November 2007 18.09

0 Comments:

<< Home | << Add a comment

25 new messages in 10 topics - digest

Archives

Previous Post