25 new messages in 10 topics - digest

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Today's topics:

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Two days
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/be16f8b4c2a63696?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:49 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

Greg Evans wrote:
> SummersFrenzy wrote:
>
>> Ents are usually quite tall . . . but they're also
>> somewhat slow to move .. . I think tap dancing might be
>> out of their capacity
>
> I'd pay a dollar to see that!

I thought NetFlix let you see that for less? Ah well, another of my
misconceptions bites it

== 2 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 1:49 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:5pogcsFrv3fpU1@mid.individual.net...
> MosNot wrote:
>
>>>>>> <click, click, click>
>>>>> Is that the sound of an elevator?
>>>> ....um....I'm learning to tap dance ?
>>> You certainly managed to tapdance your way around
>>> answering that question.
>>
>> Tallented.
>
> Better than being shortented...

And squatented.

== 3 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 1:50 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:a8edj35l1pe2e82u4kudpjn4ij7ob5h01r@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 11:24:58 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>

>>> Be careful with your body parts. Somebody might have use of them
>>> later.
>>
>>That would be him.
>
> Mos finally admits that I am somebody!

Him is not a name.

== 4 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 3:04 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

MosNot wrote:

>>> Tallented.
>> Better than being shortented...
>
> And squatented.

Or embiggened.

== 5 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 3:08 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:5ppg3kFsi7o0U1@mid.individual.net...
> MosNot wrote:
>
>>>> Tallented.
>>> Better than being shortented...
>>
>> And squatented.
>
> Or embiggened.

Then it'd be totally cromulent.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Chinese food
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 1:43 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:1hkej395rorse1q4qlokg1t6r5g4psi55f@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 11:16:59 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>> Am not!
>>>>>>
>>>>>>You am, I am not.
>>>>>
>>>>> Ok. I think, therefore what's your excuse?
>>>>
>>>>Excuse ? Feh. I have reasons.
>>>
>>> Name 28 of them.
>>
>>You still haven't caught on about
>>trying to tell me what to do, huh.
>>If I wanted to be told what to do,
>>I'd join the Army. Or get married.
>
> You couldn't even name one of them?

I could identify them in a line up.

== 2 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 1:44 pm
From: "MosNot"

"MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse> wrote in message
news:VrydnaLO4oGJ2qranZ2dnUVZ_ryqnZ2d@pcisys.net...
> "Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
> news:2ufdj318o5vp5ihkbav2tr8eb03nm2t7br@4ax.com...
>> On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 11:31:43 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>

>>>>>>>>>Jeez, is that going to lead to more "now" stuff ?
>>>>>>>> And now for something completely different...
>>>>>>>Been there, done that already . . . you were late, now it's then
>>>>>> Then I was late. Why make such a big deal about it now?
>>>>>She didn't now. She did then.
>>>> You did now, she did it then.
>>>No, I did it then, but not now.
>> No more now!
>
> Well, now, what then ?

Sheesh, it's "Well then, what now"

== 3 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 1:45 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:bikej35f4gnftbim9upb44ekuj1edgns4p@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 11:17:33 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Not any more. Now we're in this now, not that now.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> When?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Then, ya goof
>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Thank you. Glad I'm not the
>>>>>>>>>>>>>> only one that understands it.
>>>>>>>>>>>>> This is where I'm supposed to note: "say again?"
>>>>>>>>>>>> Again.
>>>>>>>>>>> Thank you. Now for something completely different . . . THEN
>>>>>>>>>>Jeez, is that going to lead to more "now" stuff ?
>>>>>>>>> And now for something completely different...
>>>>>>>>Been there, done that already . . . you were late, now it's then
>>>>>>> Then I was late. Why make such a big deal about it now?
>>>>>>She didn't now. She did then.
>>>>>
>>>>> You did now, she did it then.
>>>>
>>>>No, I did it then, but not now.
>>>
>>> No more now!
>>
>>Well, now, what then ?
>
> Then nothing.

Not now.

== 4 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 3:41 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

MosNot wrote:
>
>> Well, now, what then ?
>
> Sheesh, it's "Well then, what now"

Now and then, you quite surprise yourself . . . doncha

== 5 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 4:20 pm
From: "MosNot"

"SummersFrenzy" <icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:13jf4rb7727j130@corp.supernews.com...
> MosNot wrote:
>>
>>> Well, now, what then ?
>>
>> Sheesh, it's "Well then, what now"
>
> Now and then, you quite surprise yourself . . . doncha

It happened then, but not now.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: surrender
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 1:46 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:8ekej3dh2ip3hlpv67be1nefhnka0md6sr@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 11 Nov 2007 11:22:19 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>> 1: KA-ching! Pay that setup fee, kid.
>>
>>Are you sure you did the set up ?
>
> I can honestly say that you have me to thank for all the setup fees.

Larry used "honestly".....hahahahahahahahahahaha

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 1:47 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:tefdj3h2seeks8phugjl53f2crhkhb7u9e@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 11:42:33 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>> I absolutely, positively agree with Elisabeth about everything.
>>>>>
>>>>> Larry
>>>>> Consider that statement an act of self-preservation.
>>>>
>>>>Coward !
>>>
>>> Maybe, but I'd rather be a living coward than a dead moron.
>>
>>What's "dead" gotta do with it ?
>
> You think it's a second hand emotion?

Need somebody else to comment
like that so we'll have three times funny.

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 3:45 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

MosNot wrote:
>
>>>What's "dead" gotta do with it ?
>>
>> You think it's a second hand emotion?
>
> Need somebody else to comment
> like that so we'll have three times funny.

I aim to please:

You must try to ignore
That it means more than that

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Going shopping
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8bb216a758bd2e20?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 1:51 pm
From: "MosNot"

"SummersFrenzy" <icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:13je66sr6kcc734@corp.supernews.com...
> MosNot wrote:
>> SummersFrenzy wrote:
>>
>>> It was more clever than mine . . .also reasonably nice . . . whadda you
>>> want?
>>
>> You don't really want to know.
>
> Oh, I might want to know - if you really wanted to say . . . ya never know

Looks like it may remain a mystery.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 1:52 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:aoedj319ckbbcj60jgafbt4a60ngt22r3p@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 16:47:16 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>> Bet he doesn't like artichokes, either.
>>>>> Artichokes taste nothing like brussel sprouts . . . i.e., it is
>>>>> possible
>>>>> to like one but not the other
>>>> But, they're both good stuff.
>>> Lots of good nutrtional value, maybe . . . but good taste is a matter
>>> of
>>> opinion
>>Since I eat what I like, it's *my* opinion of what tastes good that
>>matters.
>
> Not to me!

Your opinions don't matter.

== 2 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 1:53 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:dgedj3t7ti6jtmi7hp4oa9khuvr3fubvo0@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 11:48:24 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>> I hope I am invited.
>>>>>
>>>>>Missed it. Tonight...pork chops and brussel sprouts.
>>>>
>>>>Brussels sprouts? Eww YUCK!
>>>
>>> But they are fun!
>>
>>Bet he doesn't like artichokes, either.
>
> And you would lose that bet. I love artichokes.

So you win a bag of brussel sprouts. Enjoy.

== 3 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 1:54 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:3pedj3dm0nod2s1mse0vcsusev19d0abe0@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 11:47:59 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>> I hope I am invited.
>>>>
>>>>Missed it. Tonight...pork chops and brussel sprouts.
>>>
>>> Brussels sprouts? Eww YUCK!
>>
>>Judge not my food and your bad taste in consumables
>>shall not be judged, Mr.McDonalds Starbucks.
>
> There's nothing better than a good, cold Filet O Fish Frappuccino.

See why I say your opinions don't count.

== 4 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 1:55 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:3redj39oasimm0nca3acsoct38qhpr5h4m@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 11:49:06 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>>> MARINE:
>>>>>>>> My Ass Really Is Navy Equiptment
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> MARINE:
>>>>>>>> My Ass Really Is Navy Equiptment
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Once more, and it'll be funny...
>>>>>>
>>>>>>It was posted twice for Larry's benefit.
>>>>>>Once now. Once then.
>>>>>
>>>>> Doesn't count since your now is my then.
>>>>
>>>>No, your now is my then.
>>>
>>> Now then, Mos, if we agree, why are we arguing?
>>
>>No arguement, just trying to get you to understand.
>
> I under stand all!

And Sloan sees most.

== 5 of 5 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 1:55 pm
From: "MosNot"

Then you enjoy the view during a Scottish parade.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: This boy and his date were parked on a back road........
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4a010362643aab?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 2:10 pm
From: "Mr. Mistery"

Fun? click on:
http://www.xs4all.nl/~npjdjong/index.html

This boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town,
doing what boys and girls do on back roads in the back seat some distance
from town. Things were getting hot and steamy when the girl stopped the boy.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a prostitute
and I charge $20 for sex." The boy just looked at her for a couple of
seconds, but then reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After the
cigarette, the boy just sat in the drivers seat looking out the window. "Why
arent we going anywhere?" asked the girl. "I should have mentioned this
before, but Im actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25!"

Mr. Mistery.

Fun? click on:
http://www.xs4all.nl/~npjdjong/index.html

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 11/11 Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/0d7e2f6fb5926b33?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 6:27 pm
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4191AE32.AD206AC6@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > To win votes from the animal welfare lobby, the British Prying Monister,
> > > Tony B'Liar, is going to have a vote in Parliament to ban hunting with
> > > hounds.
> > >
> > > Many pundits have claimed that this will drive the practice underground.
> > >
> > > The Animal Rights people replied that they felt it would be highly
> amusing
> > > to see via Ground Penetrating RADAR, large numbers of Upper Class Twits
> > > trying to hunt moles and earthworms from Land Rovers equipped with
> burrowing
> > > gear!
> >
> > Why not use ground penetrating RADAR to search for Iraq's WMDs?
>
> Yes! Why *not* use ground penetrating RADAR to search for Iraq's WMDs?
>
> They might have found Sad Damned a bit quicker with that too. They'd have
> picked up a lovely oscillating Doppler signal from his right hand going like
> the clappers!!!

Why would his right hand be oscillating?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 11/11 Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/19ff63def4b51005?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 6:28 pm
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41930A1E.CD165321@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4191B108.7E8F9C86@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Compeer: Computer colleague.
> > > >
> > > > Compel: Charismatic computer.
> > > >
> > > > Compete: Computer that likes to race.
> > > >
> > > > Competition: Computer political activist.
> > >
> > > Compose: A robot standing in a silly way.
> >
> > Compose: Computer poetry
> >
> Robots write poems in HEX,
> While standing on big metal legs.
> The long stream of bits,
> Can get on your tits
> Till you plug up your ears with some pegs!
>
> Boom Boom!

Do witches write in HEX also?

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 6:28 pm
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4192FAB9.B160D156@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Jenni Saqua wrote:
> >
> > > "J. A. Mc." wrote ...
> > > > On Fri, 09 Jul James King found
> > > > these unused words floating about:
> > > > > "Jenni Saqua" wrote:
> > > > >> "Dr Tormento" wrote ...
> > > > >> > Hauke Reddmann originally wrote :
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > > Here at the uni I always pass the Enten-Apotheke
> > > > >> > > (Ducks Pharmacy Store). I never was in it, though.
> > > > >> > > They are just quacks!
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > Do they have a web site?
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> Yes, and they make a waddle bet!
> > > > >
> > > > >What did a drunk Foghorn Leghorn say to the Chicken Hawk as he was
> > > > >attempting to entice a mallard into having sex with him?
> > > > >
> > > > >"That's a duck, shun!"
> > > >
> > > > And any offspring would be "de duck, shun"?
> > > > Rather simple to de dooster, eh?
> > > >
> > > I guess if he's down on his cluck, then accepting henny Penny for his
> > > thoughts is a move in the right direction.
> >
> > How about the left direction?
>
> How about the down direction. At least it'd be fluffy!

How about the up direction?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 11/11 Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/ab494c68830db435?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 6:28 pm
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4192FAD1.AB9CF697@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Seeking: Ruler of the 7 Seas.
> >
> > Seeking: King who searches.
> >
> > Seeking: Observe the male monarch.
> >
> > Shaking: Vibrating king.
> >
> > Shaking: Powerful king.
> >
> > Shaking: King of earthquakes.
> >
> > Sinking: Drowning king.
> >
> > Stinking: Bad smelling king.
> >
> > Taking: King who steals.
> >
> > Tanking: King in the Army.
>
> Norman leader in the First Crusade: "Tancredy? OK. Open fire!!"

"Fire at Will"!

Normandy: Demon in a province in northern France.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 11/11 Puns
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/40586282901f8163?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 6:28 pm
From: Tim Bruening

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4192F826.67980148@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > news:g_78b.74626$Ls2.9875@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > >
> > > Kathy <tnktkachuk3@cogeco.ca> wrote in message
> > > news:F3O7b.2423$Gr.120645@read1.cgocable.net...
> > > >
> > > > "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > > news:P3H7b.43637$Ls2.29383@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > > Advice for overweight sailors:
> > > > >
> > > > > "ABANDON CHIP!!"
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > "TRIM THE SCALE!"
> > > >
> > > That's a tack-y answer!
> >
> > Tacky: Key to a-tack.
>
> Donkey: Unlocks a university prof's house.
>
> Jockey: Unlocks the Scottish border.
>
> Dickey: Unlocks a male chastity-belt.

I'm surprised that you missed: Monkey: Unlocks monasteries.

==============================================================================

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Posted by NrSD, Minggu, 11 November 2007 18.32

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