rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* surrender - 3 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
* I usually don't plug websites, but... Lets Say Thanks - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/bc539675a937ecf6?hl=en
* Chinese food - 11 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en
* Scottish Dentist - 6 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* Stupid Mistake - 3 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: surrender
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:56 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:54:37 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>As getting inside should always be.
>>>>
>>>>I forgot the magic words for a second. Open Sesame!
>>>
>>>And?
>>>
>>>>Why didn't that work? Oops, wrong magic words. Ok, these always
>>>>work.
>>>>
>>>>I brought you diamond jewelry!
>>>
>>>And?
>>
>>And some Diamond brand cheese.
>
>Please enter.

<Larry produces his sesame-cheese log>

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:57 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:2vi4k3lr1hb7ompfnpdouoqqe5939pdltl@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 15:17:28 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>>>I absolutely, positively agree with Elisabeth about everything.
>>>>>
>>>>>Good.
>>>>>
>>>>>>Larry
>>>>>>Consider that statement an act of self-preservation.
>>>>>
>>>>>I need to test my new knife set on somebody else.
>>>>
>>>>I volunteer Mos.
>>>
>>> So this is how volunteering is done in California.
>>
>>Everything is easier when somebody else does it.
>
> Greg volunteers Mos too.

You left out a comma.

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:57 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:p1j4k3tkq4f5g9226m940mvnqfnffpr3lr@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 16:57:05 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
> wrote:
>
>>>>> Honest John(son)?
>>>> <hands Greg a mirror> you tell me
>>>
>>> I don't even know how a Johnson COULD lie.
>>
>>Johnsons don't lie - they're proud, standup characters!
>
> You are stealing my lines, Evans!

Can't write on unruled paper, huh.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: I usually don't plug websites, but... Lets Say Thanks
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/bc539675a937ecf6?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:56 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:88f4k3lnsp5ifq78b2jrbh9gtkvl0e8vfc@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:57:58 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>Whether you are for or against
>>
>>the war, our guys and gals over there need to know
>>
>>we are behind them...
>
> Well DUH! If we were in front of them we'd probably get shot.

Glad I didn't write the statement, I merely copied and pasted.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Chinese food
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2450e65bb085dfcf?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 11 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:57 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:54:39 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>This is boring. Do something more funny.
>>
>>Cool. I always did enjoy telling jokes when I ride bareback.
>
>With cool you mean the weather situation when riding bare?

Not exactly. Body heat and strenuous exercise usually keeps me warm.

== 2 of 11 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:58 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:54:39 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>His hormone level just went way up.
>>>
>>>I am as good as any youth well.
>>
>>May I dip my bucket in your youth well?
>
>Be my guest, dear Henry.

That's me, Henry Johnson.

== 3 of 11 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:58 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:54:39 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>And cheese. Never forget the cheese.
>>>
>>>Mmmmmm .... cheese ....
>>
>>Now that I've got you in the mood, would you like to come up to my
>>place to see my Edam?
>
>Can I bring my Eva?

I insist that you do.

== 4 of 11 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:59 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:54:39 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>>>>Absolutely! The thorns on Elisabeth's rose are pricking my ... well,
>>>>>>>>you know.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Finger?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Not exactly.
>>>>>
>>>>>Toe?
>>>>
>>>>Somewhere in between.
>>>
>>>Now I know: belly button!
>>
>>You're getting warmer.
>
>Not really. The snow is still cold.

There is no snow on my belly button!

== 5 of 11 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 6:59 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:54:40 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>You always were a sucker for suckers.
>>>
>>>Some habits never change.
>>
>>You know there's one born every minute, right?
>
>A habit is born every minute? Why?

Why not?

== 6 of 11 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:01 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:54:40 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>You are Skynet? Now we really are in trouble!
>
>I am Elisabeth. This is trouble enough.

I'm not really sure how to answer that without putting my life in
jeopardy.

== 7 of 11 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:03 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:54:40 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>Another famous Austrian female export.
>>>>
>>>>See what free trade does?
>>>
>>>There was never much good we gave to the world.
>>
>>Sure there was. What about Strauss waltzes?
>
>What shocking dance it was: any stranger could hold a lady firmly
>pressed to his body in plain sight.

That isn't shocking as long as you take the correct steps.

== 8 of 11 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:03 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:97j4k3ps7k09g5dovecs4ks7ugq7d3chrs@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:54:39 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
> <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:
>
>>>>This is boring. Do something more funny.
>>>
>>>Cool. I always did enjoy telling jokes when I ride bareback.
>>
>>With cool you mean the weather situation when riding bare?
>
> Not exactly. Body heat and strenuous exercise usually keeps me warm.

He means his fat body puts out a lot of heat when he types.

== 9 of 11 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:04 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:33:09 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>>>>>You? Who are you?
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Der Werwolf!
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>des Weswolfs ...
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Nein! Der Werwolfski.
>>>>>
>>>>>I forgot you decline Polish.
>>>>
>>>>Nein!
>>>
>>>Make up your mind.
>>
>>How do I powder it?
>
>carefully

Ok, but the powder keeps filling up my ears.

== 10 of 11 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:04 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:33:09 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
<maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>>>>> Der Werwolf!
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> des Weswolfs ...
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Nein! Der Werwolfski.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I forgot you decline Polish.
>>>>>
>>>>>He can't even decline verbs.
>>>>
>>>>I says no to verbs.
>>>
>>>You do this the honest, hard way.
>>
>>Are you kidding?
>
>Only lambing.

She said sheepishly.

== 11 of 11 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:29 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:cbj4k35800ihbknolj6g2itgejqtgasrgt@4ax.com,
Larry Krzewinski <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote:

>>>> Now I know: belly button!
>>>
>>> You're getting warmer.
>>
>> Not really. The snow is still cold.
>
> There is no snow on my belly button!

There is no lint on Mt. Baldy, either.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:00 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:8gi4k3l3nmgtghbj0na3p0bjgigq0vb16p@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 11:22:04 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>> "No comment", Peachy thought. She would have said it out loud but for
>>>>> the ball gag that had been loving placed in her mouth. Her back
>>>>> arched in pain caused by the hot candle wax being dripped onto her...
>>>>
>>>> You know, it's actually not that painful. It's a lot like warm
>>>>water. Very soothing.
>>>
>>> God, I love true confessions!
>>
>>From everybody....?
>
> No. From sexy women only.

Since you didn't specify the sexy women in r.h. only:
Looks like you'll be busy a long time since no matter
what women look like and what they weight, most of
them think they are sexy when they're horny.

== 2 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:01 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:oii4k31i8ntcnn6ideb4cd0u1ka9uprf0d@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 02:17:03 -0700, "SummersFrenzy"
> <icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>>>wow - easy play . . . where's the bondage stuff?
>>>
>>> That was in an earlier post. Where were you, missy?
>>
>>Working . . . flirting outrageously . . . working . . . titillating
>>coworkers at the holiday party . . . working . . . finding cute guys to
>>torment . . . working . . . slept for a bit . . . did I mention I was
>>working?
>
> Yes, but exactly what is your job description?

Putting up with lots of crap.

== 3 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:02 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:ppi4k31q5o2b6sof5eksfid97frrqp4hje@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:33:10 +0100, Elisabeth Mueller
> <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:
>
>>>>>>> I hope I am invited.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Missed it. Tonight...pork chops and brussel sprouts.
>>>>>
>>>>>Brussels sprouts? Eww YUCK!
>>>>
>>>> But they are fun!
>>>
>>>Bet he doesn't like artichokes, either.
>>
>>He doesn't know what is good.
>
> He does too!

Rule #1 makes it so you don't.

== 4 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:27 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> I shall be careful never to drop your ego on purpose.

Incidentally, "The Ego Drops" is the name of my new band.

== 5 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:30 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

MosNot wrote:

>> Some people are the drippers and some are
>> the drippees.
>
> There a setup fee if we refer to you as the
> drippeest ?
^^^^^^^^^^^
There's probably a setup fee if we refer to your spelling...

== 6 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:34 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

MosNot wrote:

> Since you didn't specify the sexy women in r.h. only:
> Looks like you'll be busy a long time since no matter
> what women look like and what they weight, most of
> them think they are sexy when they're horny.

http://tinyurl.com/ynq5om

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Stupid Mistake
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:23 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> I never blow! I hum.

I am now officially Very Disturbed.

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:23 pm
From: "Greg Evans"

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> I never blow! I hum.

Not that there's anything *wrong* with that...

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 19 2007 7:27 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:5qf29oFvab2aU1@mid.individual.net,
Greg Evans <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> I never blow! I hum.
>
> I am now officially Very Disturbed.

You will pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please disregard this
message.

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