rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* Scottish Dentist - 5 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* Sex novels by instant download - 4 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
* Stupid Mistake - 5 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
* lost opportunity regained? - 7 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4300ee33cbd5c8?hl=en
* 12/12/12 - 3 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:59 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:8ignj35ti7j2t4mosq5uld1mq493lfuqtp@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:21:49 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>>>> I knew she was in a few. One of my wife's favorite movies is
>>>>> "Roxanne" and Shelly Duvall has a role in it. My wife must have
>>>>> watched it 100 times over the years. We own the DVD.
>>>>
>>>>Well, one of my favourite movies is "Alien" and she's not in it.
>>>>And I own the DVD.
>>>>Come to think of it, she's not in almost all the DVDs I own.
>>>
>>> She isn't in any of my faviourite movies at all. In fact, I'm not
>>> sure I even have a faviourite movie.
>>
>>As long as you're sure of that.
>>At least I know I don't have a favourite movie.
>
> Perhaps it's time to adjiourn this conversation.

== 2 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:59 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

MosNot wrote:

> "peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:7qN_i.4802$RR1.3183@trnddc02...
>
>>MosNot wrote:
>>
>>
>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>
>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>>>
>>>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>"Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com> wrote in message
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>How is anybody sure about anything ?
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Ask someone like Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh how they manage it.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>Oh, so now you're gonna start telling me what to do.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>What do you mean START?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Usually he makes a rude comment, not an order.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Oh. Maybe he just orders me around.
>>>>>
>>>>>But you like it.
>>>>
>>>> Shhhhhhh!!!
>>>
>>>Now, don't you start telling me what to do !
>>>(unless it's something nastyfun)
>>
>> After you called me a bitch in another thread? Why'd I wanna tell
>>YOU something nastyfun?
>
>
> I never called you a bitch.
> Oh, but if you want to consider yourself one of the common women
> and not The Exqusite Peach, it's totally your choice.
>
>

Oh, you win the prize - that's definitely the BEST recovery I've
ever seen.

== 3 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:59 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:6mgnj311lg47vjc9j57l7ekoeqog41n65d@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 13:10:30 -0500, "Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com>
> wrote:
>
>>> Ask him if he wants fries with that, Greg.
>>
>>No. But I'll ask *you* (a) when you got promoted to manager of your
>>local McDonald's, and (b) why you think I work there.
>
> I wont answer (a), but the answer to (b) is my counter guy is bald,
> drunk, and toothless.

Yeah, Greg, Larry wont answer.

== 4 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:02 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:1rgnj35kr6ms62enlfin2473tmmdlsqfjd@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 11:26:21 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
> wrote:
>
>>> Then you're finally grasping the basic tenet of Rule #1. Took you
>>> long enough!
>>
>>Nope, still working on convincing you we don't believe you.
>
> Then you haven't read Rule #1 at all.

And you still don't understand we decide when it's been used.

== 5 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:05 pm
From: "MosNot"

"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:BuP_i.24381$CI1.2147@trnddc03...
> MosNot wrote:
>> "peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>>>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>>>>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>"Greg Evans" <fake@bogus.com> wrote in message
>>>>>>>>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>How is anybody sure about anything ?
>>>>>>>>>>>Ask someone like Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh how they manage it.
>>>>>>>>>>Oh, so now you're gonna start telling me what to do.
>>>>>>>>>What do you mean START?
>>>>>>>>Usually he makes a rude comment, not an order.
>>>>>>> Oh. Maybe he just orders me around.
>>>>>>But you like it.
>>>>> Shhhhhhh!!!
>>>>Now, don't you start telling me what to do !
>>>>(unless it's something nastyfun)
>>> After you called me a bitch in another thread? Why'd I wanna tell
>>> YOU something nastyfun?
>> I never called you a bitch.
>> Oh, but if you want to consider yourself one of the common women
>> and not The Exqusite Peach, it's totally your choice.
>>
> Oh, you win the prize - that's definitely the BEST recovery I've ever
> seen.

You think I don't know better than to paint myself into a corner.
After all, not all of us carry on with no forethought, like Larry.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Sex novels by instant download
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/72fd6a8158cbf98d?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 7:59 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:26:56 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> All he had to do now what determine what an
>> appropriate punishment would be for her infractions.
>> He decided to...
>
>...make her read cheesy internet erratica -- oops, excuse me, "erotica".

Good try, but wrong, wrong, wrong.

== 2 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:00 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:34:53 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>>> He gently placed a ball gag in her mouth and
>>> fastened it behind her head. All he had to do now what
>>> determine what an appropriate punishment would be for
>>> her infractions. He decided to...
>>
>> Feh. Sounds like an ordinary date for me.
>
>Take that ball gag out of your mouth and try again; we couldn't understand
>you the first time.

LOL

== 3 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:00 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 19:37:14 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>Instant download bondage and spanking novels,
>>>>
>>>> Read about it !?!
>>>> It's just not the same.
>>>
>>> Yeah, but since we ain't doing it, reading about it might just be
>>>better than nothing.
>>>
>>> But only if it's got a plot.
>>
>> As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help but notice his
>> large, throbbing manhood. She had worked up a sweat trying to escape
>> and lay exhausted, her naked body glistening in the moonlight. He had
>> not failed to take notice of her exquisite form lying there. She was
>> his for the taking. He gently placed a ball gag in her mouth and
>> fastened it behind her head. All he had to do now what determine what
>> an appropriate punishment would be for her infractions. He decided
>> to...
>
>thank the bartender for slipping the drugs in the
>woman's drink so he could take her home with him.

Close, but no cigar.

== 4 of 4 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:07 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message

>>> As she struggled against her bonds, she couldn't help but notice his
>>> large, throbbing manhood. She had worked up a sweat trying to escape
>>> and lay exhausted, her naked body glistening in the moonlight. He had
>>> not failed to take notice of her exquisite form lying there. She was
>>> his for the taking. He gently placed a ball gag in her mouth and
>>> fastened it behind her head. All he had to do now what determine what
>>> an appropriate punishment would be for her infractions. He decided
>>> to...
>>thank the bartender for slipping the drugs in the
>>woman's drink so he could take her home with him.
>
> Close, but no cigar.

Larry has the hots for Monica !

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Stupid Mistake
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:01 pm
From: peachy ashie passion

MosNot wrote:

> "peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:arN_i.4803$RR1.340@trnddc02...
>
>>MosNot wrote:
>>
>>>"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>>
>>>>MosNot wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
>>>>>
>>>>>>On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:08:34 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Speaking of which.....how's your luck
>>>>>>>>>>>>>with Summer, Elisabeth, or Peachy ?
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>Well, they all are still talking to me.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>That would be noisy.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>I never said I was actually listening to them.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>It would still be noisy.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Yeah, but I tune it out most of the time.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Shows you have a closed mind.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>No, it doesn't. It shows that I have my ears stuffed with cotton.
>>>>>
>>>>>You can't hear women bitch with beans in your ears.
>>>>
>>>> You wouldn't hear them bitch at all iffn ya didn't date bitches.
>>>
>>>As if there's any other kind.
>>
>> Oh really?
>
>
> Ever known a woman that never bitched ?
>
>

Several. Maybe I just take good care of them so they have nothing
to bitch about?

== 2 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:06 pm
From: "MosNot"

"peachy ashie passion" <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:dwP_i.24382$CI1.11429@trnddc03...
> MosNot wrote:

>>>>>>You can't hear women bitch with beans in your ears.
>>>>>
>>>>> You wouldn't hear them bitch at all iffn ya didn't date bitches.
>>>>
>>>>As if there's any other kind.
>>>
>>> Oh really?
>> Ever known a woman that never bitched ?
> Several. Maybe I just take good care of them so they have nothing to
> bitch about?

They have never bitched ? Yeah....right.

== 3 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:10 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 19:40:52 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>>>>>Speaking of which.....how's your luck
>>>>>>>>>>>with Summer, Elisabeth, or Peachy ?
>>>>>>>>>> Well, they all are still talking to me.
>>>>>>>>>That would be noisy.
>>>>>>>> I never said I was actually listening to them.
>>>>>>>It would still be noisy.
>>>>>> Yeah, but I tune it out most of the time.
>>>>>Shows you have a closed mind.
>>>>
>>>> No, it doesn't. It shows that I have my ears stuffed with cotton.
>>>
>>>You can't hear women bitch with beans in your ears.
>>
>> Cotton is not spelled beans.
>
>So, you didn't notice who typed the words ?

Mos did. Oh, OK. I get your piont.

== 4 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:11 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:23:43 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> And without Greg there we can actually invite some
>> women!!!
>
>I can understand you not wanting me around; the competition for the ladies'
>attention would have been more than you could handle.

No, we wouldn't have been able to catch them all again when they ran
screaming from the party.

== 5 of 5 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:12 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 20:53:04 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>> Get a keg, dude! PARTY!
>>>>>>> Sheesh, what about Hamms ?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> And buy some ham for the party, dude!
>>>>>
>>>>>http://ehams.com/default.htm
>>>>>
>>>>>Sammiches for all!
>>>>
>>>> Then you'd better bring an assortment of bread and condiments, Greg.
>>>> And don't forget the cheese!
>>>
>>>Cheese for everybody !
>>
>> <Elisabeth books a plane ticket>
>
>Extra cheese for Elisabeth !

Good thing your Chapstick delivery arrived in time.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: lost opportunity regained?
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4300ee33cbd5c8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:01 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:33:05 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> ... I was drunk and drank out of the kids'
>> pool thinking it was a large highball. I probably shouldn't
>> have picked that kids' pool even though the yellow colored
>> water looked enticing. I won't describe the taste here.
>
>Dude - that was the leaf-skimmer pole, not a giant swizzle stick!

Now you tell me!

== 2 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:03 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 19:42:28 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>Greg owns cruise boats with Boston Shipping ?
>>
>> Close. He's the cruise director for the all possum cruises.
>
>All possum cruises ?
>No racoons ?
>Racists !

For some odd reason or other, most southern males do not like coons.
And they all shop during the annual January White Sale. Coincidence?

== 3 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:04 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 01:40:36 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>> Feh. More like two of you couldn't handle me.
>
> That may well be true.
>
> Heaven knows you are more than *I* know what to do with.

Did you leave the acronym BS out of that sentence?

== 4 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:05 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 01:41:21 GMT, peachy ashie passion
<exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:

>>>>>Would you let me put bubbles in?
>>>>
>>>>It probably depends on how they're generated.
>>>
>>> *giggles*
>>> knew SOMEone had to say it, but I really thought it'd come from Larry.
>>
>> You think that I fart in the tub? What have I ever done to deserve
>> this treatment?
>
> I think you can't resist a good gross out joke.

I think that I'm becoming way too predictable.

== 5 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:06 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 19:43:19 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>> You think that I fart in the tub? What have I ever done to deserve
>> this treatment?
>
>Eat those beans you took out of your ears to put the cotton in.

But them was wax beans!

== 6 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:09 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:0ahnj3lfvq6cu7nddo54rvo06iin44p0l6@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 01:40:36 GMT, peachy ashie passion
> <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>> Feh. More like two of you couldn't handle me.
>>
>> That may well be true.
>>
>> Heaven knows you are more than *I* know what to do with.
>
> Did you leave the acronym BS out of that sentence?

Big Stick.

== 7 of 7 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:09 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Larry Krzewinski" <Feerless_Freep@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:lbhnj35bjb22m7m6b44n3e5nbfer92l325@4ax.com...
> On Thu, 15 Nov 2007 01:41:21 GMT, peachy ashie passion
> <exquisitepeach@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>>>>>Would you let me put bubbles in?
>>>>>
>>>>>It probably depends on how they're generated.
>>>>
>>>> *giggles*
>>>> knew SOMEone had to say it, but I really thought it'd come from Larry.
>>>
>>> You think that I fart in the tub? What have I ever done to deserve
>>> this treatment?
>>
>> I think you can't resist a good gross out joke.
>
> I think that I'm becoming way too predictable.

"Becoming" ????
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....

==============================================================================
TOPIC: 12/12/12
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d2964a4ab1a46e7c?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:06 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:30:49 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> You had your chance and blew it, dude. I'm never paying
>> them now.
>
><renewed guffawing>

I hope you got a discount when you renewed.

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:07 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 19:46:17 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>> Would you believe me if I offered to pay my setup fees in full?
>>>
>>><spit-take>
>>>
>>>Can't reply...guffawing....
>>
>> You had your chance and blew it, dude. I'm never paying them now.
>
>I'm still trying to figure out what a guffa's wing looks like.

They are similar to a dodo.

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Wed, Nov 14 2007 8:09 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Wed, 14 Nov 2007 19:47:01 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>> Now I'll never get it out of my head today!
>>>>>>> Arrgh!!
>>>>>> I may be able to help you with that, Greg.
>>>>>Sorry, I stopped reading at this point - I know better than to think
>>>>>you would volunteer to help me.
>>>> Would you believe me if I offered to pay my setup fees in full?
>>>Feh. As if you'll ever make that much.
>>
>> I could too earn $1.19!
>
>So pay yourself and leave me and Greg alone about it.

No, see, I would have to pay them to Greg. Do I need to explain to
you again how setup fees work?

==============================================================================

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