rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* Two days - 2 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/be16f8b4c2a63696?hl=en
* Fatties - 9 messages, 6 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/1685f288b7f3080e?hl=en
* Scottish Dentist - 6 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* lost opportunity regained? - 2 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4300ee33cbd5c8?hl=en
* Toronto-based sex cult holding virgin sacrifice for Ron Paul !!! - 1
messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/f90f5807f1059086?hl=en
* Stupid Mistake - 2 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en

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TOPIC: Two days
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/be16f8b4c2a63696?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 10:25 am
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:5prfpdFt0j14U1@mid.individual.net...
> MosNot wrote:
>
>>> <blinks> wow - you *really* need to work at getting a life
>>
>> ....heh.....right....work..... Now if you said "you *really*
>> need to drink beer to get a life", he just might do it.
>
> But drinking beer isn't work.

Never said it was.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 8:42 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 12 Nov 2007 11:25:08 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>>>> Be careful with your body parts. Somebody might have use of them
>>>>>>>>>> later.
>>>>>>>>>That would be him.
>>>>>>>> Mos finally admits that I am somebody!
>>>>>>>Him is not a name.
>>>>>> But him me!
>>>>>Then who is you ?
>>>> Me you, too.
>>>Then, you're not him, now.
>>
>> Him you me, too.
>
>Not my kink.

Him no me kink.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Fatties
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/1685f288b7f3080e?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 9 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 10:29 am
From: "MosNot"

"Greg Evans" <gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:5prfoeFsmbgtU1@mid.individual.net...
> Harry wrote:
>
>> A silly question, but if someone is really fat, and has a
>> swollen arm, then how do they know?
>
> It's probably got a bruise shaped on your face on it, where they laid the
> smackdown on you for asking such a dumbass question.

With a bit more work, you could
have used "on" more than three times.

== 2 of 9 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 10:44 am
From: "Cybe R. Wizard"

"MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse> said:
>
> "Harry" <oeieio@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:Aj%Zi.236$R_4.220@newsb.telia.net...
> >A silly question, but if someone is really fat, and has a swollen
> >arm, then
> > how do they know?
>
> Bets are you still wonder if you can give a coloured person a black
> eye.
>
More important is the question, "can you give a gay guy a pink slip?"

Cybe R. Wizard
--
Nice computers don't go down.
Larry Niven, Steven Barnes
"The Barsoom Project"

== 3 of 9 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 11:59 am
From: "Christopher"

"Cybe R. Wizard" wrote in message
news:2007120071112124444.36635f58@WizardsTower...
>"MosNot"said:
>>
>> "Harry" wrote in message
>> news:Aj%Zi.236$R_4.220@newsb.tel4.220@newsb.telia.net...
>>>Asillyquestion,butifsomeoneisreallyfat,andhasa swollen
>> >arm, then
>> > how do they know?
>>
>> Bets are you still wonder if you can give a coloured person a black
>> eye.
>>
> More important is the question, "can you give a gay guy a pink slip?"

On a triplicate form, does an Asian get the yellow copy?

== 4 of 9 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 12:02 pm
From: "MosNot"

"Cybe R. Wizard" <cybe_r_wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message
news:20071112124444.36635f58@WizardsTower...
> "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse> said:
>>
>> "Harry" <oeieio@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>> news:Aj%Zi.236$R_4.220@newsb.telia.net...
>> >A silly question, but if someone is really fat, and has a swollen
>> >arm, then
>> > how do they know?
>>
>> Bets are you still wonder if you can give a coloured person a black
>> eye.
>>
> More important is the question, "can you give a gay guy a pink slip?"

Only if it matches the bra and panties.

== 5 of 9 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 1:14 pm
From: "Cybe R. Wizard"

"Christopher" <christopheryeats@yahoo.com> said:
>
> "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote in message
> news:2007120071112124444.36635f58@WizardsTower...
> >"MosNot"said:
> >>
> >> "Harry" wrote in message
> >> news:Aj%Zi.236$R_4.220@newsb.tel4.220@newsb.telia.net...
> >>>Asillyquestion,butifsomeoneisreallyfat,andhasa swollen
> >> >arm, then
> >> > how do they know?
> >>
> >> Bets are you still wonder if you can give a coloured person a black
> >> eye.
> >>
> > More important is the question, "can you give a gay guy a pink
> > slip?"
>
>
> On a triplicate form, does an Asian get the yellow copy?
>
Is it an insult to give a Usenet user a, "read," header?

Cybe R. Wizard
--
Nice computers don't go down.
Larry Niven, Steven Barnes
"The Barsoom Project"

== 6 of 9 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 3:10 pm
From: "nemo"

"Harry" <oeieio@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Aj%Zi.236$R_4.220@newsb.telia.net...
> A silly question, but if someone is really fat, and has a swollen arm,
then
> how do they know?
>
Beak horse the arm gets fatter still and ends up not matching the other one.

You should have chosen a stomach instead.

I wish I could choose one. A smaller one without an umbilical hernia would
be nice. And with a nice new spleen inside!!

Why? . . . . Clue . . . .

English spleens! English spleens!
Squishing every day.
Waiting for the surgeon man
To take 'em all away.

An ode to British clumsiness
When falling in the bath,
With arms and legs all flailing round,
And looking bloody daft!

== 7 of 9 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 3:30 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

Greg Evans wrote:
> Harry wrote:
>
>> A silly question, but if someone is really fat, and has a
>> swollen arm, then how do they know?
>
> It's probably got a bruise shaped on your face on it, where they laid the
> smackdown on you for asking such a dumbass question.

He's probably looking at himself in the mirror . . . probably just a
head-shot, but still . . .

== 8 of 9 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 4:57 pm
From: Sir F. A. Rien

"Cybe R. Wizard" <cybe_r_wizard@WizardsTower> found these unused words:

>"Christopher" <christopheryeats@yahoo.com> said:
>>
>> "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote in message
>> news:2007120071112124444.36635f58@WizardsTower...
>> >"MosNot"said:
>> >>
>> >> "Harry" wrote in message
>> >> news:Aj%Zi.236$R_4.220@newsb.tel4.220@newsb.telia.net...
>> >>>Asillyquestion,butifsomeoneisreallyfat,andhasa swollen
>> >> >arm, then
>> >> > how do they know?
>> >>
>> >> Bets are you still wonder if you can give a coloured person a black
>> >> eye.
>> >>
>> > More important is the question, "can you give a gay guy a pink
>> > slip?"
>>
>>
>> On a triplicate form, does an Asian get the yellow copy?
>>
>Is it an insult to give a Usenet user a, "read," header?
>
I see you goys have been writing a White Paper ...

== 9 of 9 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 4:58 pm
From: Sir F. A. Rien

"MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse> found these unused words:

>
>"Cybe R. Wizard" <cybe_r_wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message
>news:20071112124444.36635f58@WizardsTower...
>> "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse> said:
>>>
>>> "Harry" <oeieio@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>>> news:Aj%Zi.236$R_4.220@newsb.telia.net...
>>> >A silly question, but if someone is really fat, and has a swollen
>>> >arm, then
>>> > how do they know?
>>>
>>> Bets are you still wonder if you can give a coloured person a black
>>> eye.
>>>
>> More important is the question, "can you give a gay guy a pink slip?"
>
>Only if it matches the bra and panties.
>
... if worn.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 12:13 pm
From: "Bill Colmers"

"MosNot" <

> One does not have to be a parent to appreciate
> brussel sprouts and/or artichokes.

My kids always liked the more exotic vegetables, artichokes (with aioli),
asparagus, French beans, brussel sprouts, etc. The more out-of-season and
expensive, the better. Mind you, we liked them too.

Bill

== 2 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 12:19 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:7u2_i.204522$1y4.84402@pd7urf2no,
Bill Colmers <sambomambo@nowhere.com> wrote:

> My kids always liked the more exotic vegetables, artichokes (with
> aioli), ...

I was going to make some aioli last time we had artichokes, but couldn't
find any olive oil that wasn't virgin.

== 3 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 1:17 pm
From: "Bill Colmers"

"ynotssor"

> I was going to make some aioli last time we had artichokes, but couldn't
> find any olive oil that wasn't virgin.

Q: Where do they get extra-virgin olive oil?
A: From extra-ugly olives.

== 4 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 8:43 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 12 Nov 2007 21:17:01 GMT, "Bill Colmers"
<sambomambo@nowhere.com> wrote:

>> I was going to make some aioli last time we had artichokes, but couldn't
>> find any olive oil that wasn't virgin.
>
>Q: Where do they get extra-virgin olive oil?
>A: From extra-ugly olives.

Like the one in Popeye?

== 5 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 8:44 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 12 Nov 2007 11:21:38 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>> <Larry gags at the thought>
>>>>>Really difficult for ya to think, huh.
>>>> About Brussels sprouts, yes.
>>>What brussel sprouts ?
>>
>> Exactly!
>
>There aren't any here, so why ya tryin' to think about them ?

Exactly how are you sure that Elisabeth isn't in Brussels spouting
off?

== 6 of 6 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 8:44 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 12 Nov 2007 11:23:19 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>>See why I say your opinions don't count.
>>>>>> There's a reason that I don't number them, Mos.
>>>>>Because one is the loneliest number.
>>>> No, because they all fight to be number 1. I can't afford to show any
>>>> favoritism.
>>>So you don't care who you vote for.
>>
>> I can't answer that if my opinions don't count.
>
>Exactly.

But I will anyhow.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: lost opportunity regained?
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8d4300ee33cbd5c8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 12:31 pm
From: "ynotssor"

The last time the Roman Catholic pontiff visited I missed the opportunity to
buy some Pope-on-a-Rope Soap. Next year we'll all have another chance, and
I'll buy a pallet of it at Costco if I can sneak in on someone else's
membership.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 8:37 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 12 Nov 2007 12:31:35 -0800, "ynotssor" <ynotssor@example.org>
wrote:

>The last time the Roman Catholic pontiff visited I missed the opportunity to
>buy some Pope-on-a-Rope Soap. Next year we'll all have another chance, and
>I'll buy a pallet of it at Costco if I can sneak in on someone else's
>membership.

Perhaps the Pope is a member. Why don't you ask him?

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Toronto-based sex cult holding virgin sacrifice for Ron Paul !!!
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/f90f5807f1059086?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 8:07 pm
From: Women Worship You

The press release says it all ... http://www.dimitrithelover.com/press11sep07.htm

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Stupid Mistake
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/6d770b0b3fcbb8e8?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 8:39 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 12 Nov 2007 11:19:03 -0700, "MosNot" <StillNot@YourHouse>
wrote:

>>>>>>> You know what they call people who willingly give it
>>>>>>> away for free...
>>>>>> Happily single.
>>>>> The answer I was looking for is "poor".
>>>> You want to be happily poor ?
>>>"Happy" will suffice.
>>
>> To dream the impossible dream...
>
>Speaking of which.....how's your luck
>with Summer, Elisabeth, or Peachy ?

Well, they all are still talking to me.

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Mon, Nov 12 2007 8:41 pm
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Mon, 12 Nov 2007 10:24:08 -0800, "ynotssor" <ynotssor@example.org>
wrote:

>>>> You want to be happily poor ?
>>>
>>> "Happy" will suffice.
>>
>> To dream the impossible dream...
>
>He keeps searching for the 24 oz. Budweiser that he can admit to drinking.

He'll deny ever drinking a Budweiser, but if he hasn't, how can he
claim to be Bud Wiser?

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