rec.humor@googlegroups.com

Today's topics:

* Two days - 2 messages, 2 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/be16f8b4c2a63696?hl=en
* Going shopping - 3 messages, 3 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8bb216a758bd2e20?hl=en
* Scottish Dentist - 5 messages, 4 authors
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
* surrender - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
* MI5 Persecution: Neil Fox (Nov/1998) (361) - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c7e1b6c957854343?hl=en
* found $10 - 1 messages, 1 author
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d802195de68b3588?hl=en

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TOPIC: Two days
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/be16f8b4c2a63696?hl=en
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== 1 of 2 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 10 2007 8:28 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

MosNot wrote
> Greg Evans wrote:
>> MosNot wrote:
>
>>> ....um....I'm learning to tap dance ?
>>
>> You certainly managed to tapdance your way around answering that
>> question.
>
> Tallented.

Agreed, Ents are usually quite tall . . . but they're also somewhat slow to
move .. . I think tap dancing might be out of their capacity

== 2 of 2 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 10 2007 8:44 pm
From: "MosNot"

"SummersFrenzy" <icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:13jd197jv2alm96@corp.supernews.com...
> MosNot wrote
>> Greg Evans wrote:
>>> MosNot wrote:
>>
>>>> ....um....I'm learning to tap dance ?
>>>
>>> You certainly managed to tapdance your way around answering that
>>> question.
>>
>> Tallented.
>
> Agreed, Ents are usually quite tall . . . but they're also somewhat slow
> to move .. . I think tap dancing might be out of their capacity

Ted the ent that's tall was tap dancing.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Going shopping
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/8bb216a758bd2e20?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 3 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 10 2007 8:29 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

MosNot wrote:
> Greg Evans wrote:
>> MosNot wrote:
>>
>>> Going shopping tomorrow, and one
>>> of the things on my list: Chapstick.....
>>
>> You wanna medal, or a monument?
>
> You wanna try a more clever comment ?

It was more clever than mine . . .also reasonably nice . . . whadda you
want?

== 2 of 3 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 10 2007 8:45 pm
From: "MosNot"

"SummersFrenzy" <icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:13jd1cn9ls2tqb8@corp.supernews.com...
> MosNot wrote:
>> Greg Evans wrote:
>>> MosNot wrote:
>>>
>>>> Going shopping tomorrow, and one
>>>> of the things on my list: Chapstick.....
>>>
>>> You wanna medal, or a monument?
>>
>> You wanna try a more clever comment ?
>
> It was more clever than mine . . .also reasonably nice . . . whadda you
> want?

You don't really want to know.

== 3 of 3 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:07 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 21:33:16 -0500, "Greg Evans"
<gregevansREMOVE@charterBLATHER.net> wrote:

>> Going shopping tomorrow, and one
>> of the things on my list: Chapstick.....
>
>You wanna medal, or a monument?

DUH! He wants Chapstick, dude.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: Scottish Dentist
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/2816be6690c592af?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 5 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 10 2007 8:35 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

MosNot wrote:
>
> It's insulting to lump the psychos in with Larry.

Definition of neurotic: building castles in the air and dreaming about
living in them.

Definition of psychotic: building castles in the air; then moving in and
setting up house.

So ya see, the psychos don't really care - they're too busy enjoying their
castles.

== 2 of 5 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 10 2007 8:39 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

Greg Evans wrote:
>
>>>> Artichokes taste nothing like brussel sprouts . . . i.e., it
>>>> is possible to like one but not the other
>>> Unless one doesn't have the proper tastebuds, and both
>>> are indistinguishable from wet cardboard.
>>
>> Apparently that's *your* idea of a good fiber source
>
> Vegetables in general are a *good* fiber source...not all of them are
> *enjoyable* sources.

I was noting the cardboard . . . but if you'd prefer to focus on veggies,
you go right ahead with that

== 3 of 5 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 10 2007 8:47 pm
From: "MosNot"

"SummersFrenzy" <icediamond_desire@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:13jd1mk85mr262e@corp.supernews.com...
> MosNot wrote:
>>
>> It's insulting to lump the psychos in with Larry.
> Definition of neurotic: building castles in the air and dreaming about
> living in them.
> Definition of psychotic: building castles in the air; then moving in and
> setting up house.
> So ya see, the psychos don't really care - they're too busy enjoying their
> castles.

Then you won't mind if we lump you in with Larry.

== 4 of 5 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 10 2007 10:26 pm
From: Dougal

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 12:12:45 -0500, Greg Evans wrote:

> Dougal wrote:
>
>>>>>>>> I am glad you bread does not talk.
>>>>>>> If it did, it would probably be a crumby
>>>>>>> conversationalist.
>>>>>> Now is that anyway to talk about the one with the dough ??
>>>>> Did you really knead to use that pun?
>>>> To counter the flat bread . . . yeah
>>> I thought that would get a rise out of you.
>>
>> I didn't like that remark in the yeast.
>
> You've got a lot of crust, cutting in on a stale thread!

There are actually fresh threads?

== 5 of 5 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 10 2007 11:04 pm
From: "ynotssor"

In news:kkkbj3h0tqkfh8opo0l92kke26e059epmc@4ax.com,
Elisabeth Mueller <maelmill@eunet.at> wrote:

>>>>>>> Let's drink together.
>>>>>> I'll drink to that.
>>>>> You have the best ideas!
>>>> He caught 'em off a doorknob.
>>> And you did not defend it?
>>
>> Hey, it was a public door knob.
>
> If it was public, it should be even more your duty to defend it.

Not really; that's what taxes are for ... if what I've been told is true.

==============================================================================
TOPIC: surrender
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c802089baaf3b7ea?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 10 2007 8:37 pm
From: "SummersFrenzy"

Greg Evans wrote:
> Elisabeth Mueller wrote:
>
>>>> I live outside your space-time-continuum.
>>> How's the weather there?
>>
>> Cold.
>
> Let me warm you up.
> if I can get there from here

That's a bit unimaginative to require an in-person effort . . . lots more
enjoyable, maybe . . . but that much effort of getting there - sheesh

==============================================================================
TOPIC: MI5 Persecution: Neil Fox (Nov/1998) (361)
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/c7e1b6c957854343?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sat, Nov 10 2007 7:17 pm
From: MI5Victim@mi5.gov.uk

Foxy's Showtime on Capital FM 25/11/98 7.35pm

Certainty level: 100%

This one, I can say with absolute certainty, is about me. It was recorded
on my Sony Recording Walkman on the evening of Wednesday 25 November 1998.
It doesn't mention me by name, so the objective observer might have trouble
understanding why I'm so sure it's about me. I'm sure, because the
harassment had restarted over the period when this piece was broadcast, and
what Capital transmitted would have been in context with events at the time.
(Sorry if that explanation is somewhat opaque, but I don't really want to
embarrass myself by giving an explanation in detail, and an intelligent
reader should be able to work it out for him/her self.)

This isn't the first time Capital have "got at" me; they were doing so
right at the very beginning in summer 1990, when they said, "if he listens
to Capital then he can't be all bad"; and Tarrant made remarks about me
in his breakfast show in spring 1994, when he said, "you know this bloke?
he says we're trying to kill him. We should be done for attempted
manslaughter."

Unfortunately I didn't record those previous, much more conclusive
instances of harassment by Capital DJs, and Capital Radio tells me they
only keep recordings for three months. But lately I've been recording
everything, and here is one product of that recording.

Neil Fox was introducing some petite Swedish songstress, sounded like
Amelia, when he said something about her petite-ness ;

"she's a big big girl, actually she's really about tiny, she's this big,
would you say what less than....."

then one of his studio staff shouted, "six inches"

then Fox laughed and said, "less than a meter tall, definitely"

What I think the "six inches" referred to should be obvious. I think it's
sexual abuse directed at me.

Also there were a lot of words like "crazy", "mad" etc on this programme,
which reinforced my belief that this was on purpose directed at myself.

I think Fox may be something of an unwilling participant in this abuse, he
doesn't want to be an abuser but the persecutors are using his show and
his staff to get at me. This is not the first time this sort of thing has
happened from his show; and my guess is that it won't be the last

361

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==============================================================================
TOPIC: found $10
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.humor/browse_thread/thread/d802195de68b3588?hl=en
==============================================================================

== 1 of 1 ==
Date: Sun, Nov 11 2007 12:08 am
From: Larry Krzewinski

On Sat, 10 Nov 2007 13:40:17 -0500, "~Hippy" <hippy_37@hotmail.com>
wrote:

>> >>> Yupper, I found a five and 5 ones down in the toe of a sock today. I
>> >>> have absolutely no idea how long it's been in there, but something
>> >>> was starting to hurt.
>> >>
>> >> When you go to spend it, I don't recommend telling the cashier that
>little
>> >> story before the transaction is complete.
>> >
>> >The cashier knows without having to be told . . . cash is notoriously
>> >filthy, nasty and otherwise downright disgusting
>>
>> But so is Tony!
>
>I thought laundering money was what criminals do...

Tony is really D.B. Cooper's assumed name.

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